Hate me

The thing I learned when you are in a relationship is you should be happy if the other half is happy too even though that happiness does not include me. But why it's hard for me to get it into my head and apply that on my daily life is something I don't understand. Am I too selfish? Am I thinking that the world revolves around me?

Many times I have gone over the limit and ignore that important rule. Therefore, I wanted to apologize from the bottom of my heart what have I done last night and also before this.

But I have learned not to run from my problem and I did it. (Pat on back for myself). At that precise moment, I was thinking of packing my stuff and just walk out of that door. But I kept thinking that if I started doing it today, in future I might repeat it. Then I'll be the wife who run to her parents house because of some stupid argument. And I'll be sending my kids away coz I can't cope with them. No, I'm not going to be like that. I'll be hanging there even it's rip my heart out. I'll face the problem even though I don't know how to solve it. If I failed, at least I can say I've tried.

It was harder to do it than saying it. How you control every bit of your sanity and patience when the other person was totally ignoring even when you are next to them. How inside of you was planning every destructive plan that possible in that particular room but outside you were acting cool. This is not even considering that the other half of your brain was cursing you coz causing this misery. And one point, when all the anger turn to depression, all you want to do is to hurt yourself in return.

Hmm...I'm kinda hate myself right now.

Uncertainty of future

Have you ever want something badly that you patiently work hard and pray that finally archieved that? Then after achieving that, you feel that it's the best thing ever happen, even though there's some cons but overall it's bearable. After that you think that you need to move on to the next step and ready to fully embrace the choice. Suddenly you started to think.

Is it the right choice?
Should I wait maybe a little bit longer then something better come?
What if this IS the best and coz I ditched it, I'll lose it forever?
What if I move on with this, and suddenly better one arrive and I have to let the better one go coz I already commit to the first one?

The uncertainty of future is scary...
Sometimes I wish I can just relax and be happy with what I have right now.
Sometimes I wish I can work harder to get more money coz I want to try many new experience that needs money... like scuba diving, water rafting, absailing at waterfalls....

Ok, breathe in mun... and breathe out....
I'm trying to stop worrying stuff in the future. And trying to stop pressuring myself to please everybody and stop worrying about comparing myself with others. Yes, I'm very competitive. and it's tiring.

I know today at work that

I hate the smell of pine oil. It smells like minyak angin cap kapak but 10 times worst.

I know that by the third experiment using pine oil, I got migraine.

...because of that migraine, I know where is first aid room.

I know that after 10 minutes of searching Synflex at first aid room, Kak ZK think that it might be stolen.

....and Synflex is my only hope to reduce my migraine.

Good news is that my boss keep a stock of it too.

Bad news is that he needs that too for his migraine.

I also know that I'm going to be transferred to another department.

Good news that it's not confirmed yet.

Bad news is that if it's confirmed, I'm gonna miss working in R&D and miss a lots of parties.

I also know that I don't know what to write when I got my migraine.

.....even though I have a whole complete script in my head when I'm not suffering it.

Wishful thinking

What do you think of marrying at early age? Not an option right. A lot of people say you must be stable first than only you can think about getting married... bla..bla...bla..

Imagine this, when you married at an early age when you are a nobody in this world and together both of you struggle and work hard until you are an important person in the society. Would the taste of success would become sweeter? Together both of you trying to make ends to survive, starting online business to get extra money and rent a room coz can't afford a house. Then together both of you rise, gain more money and reputation... and finally, 50 years ahead, when both of you sitting side by side beside the pool with backgroud of posh mansion own by you on top of the hill overlook the city while you rest your head on his shoulder... you can say, "Remember honey when we were young, we were struggling to live but together we as a team, we finally made it." Then you can say that you have found your soulmate and at that moment, if God say that it's time for you to go, you won't be afraid coz you know that both of you can meet again in heaven perhaps...InsyaAllah. Or when he tell you that he's getting new wife when both of you already succeed, you can tell him (or reminisce the old stories to make him realize how both of you has struggle together and how he would ruin the perfect team if another member join in. He might at least would think twice if not cancel the plan. This actually works according to a friend of mine. Hehe).

But what if both of you already stable and successful when you get married, then you will think that you can live without him. You don't need each other to live. Marriage was like to fulfill you sexual needs, society expection and bore some children. He came when you are successful and might leave you when you become useless. When he took another wife or berpoya-poya with other girls, he would say that that's his money, he can do anything he want with it. You have no right in his property. On the bright side, at least when you divorce, there's no harta sepencarian. It's either his or hers.

So.... the conclusion of all this wishful thinking is that.... well, malu la nak cakap. Nevermind la... no conclusion. Oh yes, at least you will prevent more sins right.

Talk about wedding, congratulations to Yon who get married last Sunday... Semoga bahagia sehingga akhir hayat (not only until anak cucu ok...)

**Still can't stop grinning**

To the couple out there, Happy Lover's Day... No matter how hard you try to ignore that day, you can't. The celebration has become too commercialized by business people.

So we did opposite other people do. Instead of having lavish dinner at some posh restaurant that need to be reserved 3 days before which come with pricey tag, we cooked at home. That's something that we never did together. The whole point of valentine is to be together. So we bought all our preparation together and cooked together. That way, it's more economical and less stress (think of jam, parking space and slow waiter)

That was one wonderful night. Having dinner beside our 4 little fish, eating the food we prepared ourselves with candles (a must!), sparkling grape juice and together with your loved one.... what a girl can ask more?

But I felt bad for not giving him anything except secret recipe's cheese cake without writing my heart out. He gave me this beautiful card with oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-cair kind of message which written by him.

Well sayang, Thank you for wonderful 4 years and 9 months.... (the continual of the message will be private & confidential)

Well, people out there, jangan la jealous.... (grinning from ear to ear)

I see my bed today

I had terrible morning today, physically. Last night I played 2 rounds of badminton with Zainal and gang after few months of not exercising. As the result, my arms and legs ached. The worst part was the blister at my index finger of my right hand. This is the result of wrong handling of the badminton racket. I don't know why I hold the racket like that. It was the way I always do ever since I started playing badminton. Back then, I played quite often, so the skin can handle it but after how many years of not playing, even after 15 minutes of playing badminton, the skin at that area started to peel. It hurts.... isk isk isk.

For some reason I don't know my tongue also hurt. I couldn't remember if I accidentally bit it yesterday or if it's an ulcer. I hardly get any ulcer in my life compared to some people who will get one if they're stressed. My body works react differently if I'm stress. Not that I going to discuss it here.

In addition to all this problem, I have runny nose. I usually get this when I take cold shower in the morning. If it warm shower, then this problem won't happen. But since I moved to Kajang, I thought this problem was over coz even after cold shower, I didn't get runny nose. But these few weeks, I started had this problem again. Haih... It feel so uncomfortable. If this happened until afternoon, my eyes will look droopy which is so not attractive okay...

Well, I think I need to exercise more so that next time my body can become healthier, stronger and ready for any challenge (wow, very ambitious statement. Hehe...)

The tortoise crawling down the street...

Have you ever in the situation that everything around you become slow when you need to go fast? I mean, you need to get to another place in 1 hour and between that 1 hour you need to eat your dinner, change your clothes etc. And that moment too, the nasi lemak seller was packing the nasi lemak in the slowest mode he could do. And you were not the only customer there. In front of you there were 7 hungry people waiting patiently for that turtle to pack their nasi lemak. At that moment you felt that if this is lawless country, you'll be strangle him. Huh.

Then you go to the place that you need to go and found that you were already late and have to postpone your plan to tomorrow. Since you have nothing to do, you went shopping. But you realized that you have no money. Fret not, ATM just nearby and there's only 1 customer in front of you. You stand behind him smilling face waiting for your turn. Then you realized that the person in front of you are reading (more like spelling, I guess) every words at the screen before slowly push the button. Finally after few minutes, he finished withdrawing his money. But wait, he's pulling out another card. And another... Thank God he has only 3 ATM cards... Cik abang, tak cukup lagi tu... Credit card tak nak cuba? MyKad pulak ke?

Walking happily with money now, you decided to buy some food. After walking around the supermarket, you only can find 1 food that you actually want to buy (food that you WANT to eat not buy would be a lot la kan). You queuing in the express lane where 8 items or less were allowed. But then a person in front of you have a trolley full of things which was so obvious more than 8 items la. When came his turn, dengan muka selamba dia keluarkan barang dia. The cashier refused to accept and hooray to you, he cut down half of his item. Hahaahahahahaah. Padan muka...

So what would you do if this day happen to you? All I can said is, patience is the key.

My camera

Finally I got this....Not the manual book only, it comes with camera of course. Huhu...

Supposed to be secret from my parents, but just now my dad just found out because Naqib was sesuka hati took the picture of this..

For you info, this is the view from the verandah of my house.

And I can do this...

Welcome to my crib!!

These 3 days were full with crazy pictures like these:

Naqib rase dier nampak kurus dalam gambar ni. Ye ke? Ape-ape je la...

Flora Fest and 2 goldfishes

Last weekend Zainal and I went to Flora Fest 2007 at Putrajaya. The parade was at 8am but we purposely missed it coz we just want to see the floating car. Actually it's not 'we', it was more like 'me'. At 2.30pm at Putrajaya, it was not agood idea to be outdoor. But by doing my usual pleaaassee... big eyes and alah, kita tengok kejap je, we finally inside the big air-con tent. Thank God for the air-con. Here's some pictures. Oh yes, we met Mai and Wira. And because of the unplanned visit, I didn't have camera with me and used only my 2.0 mp phone camera. Hmmm... the pictures were not so nice la. Anyway, here goes my fav.
Sabah was the best one I think. Kedah was so serabut and Perlis was the smallest. Others were so-so.

Alamak. Gambar dengan Mai tak clear la. The last time I saw her was on our convo day (ye ke? or at her sister's engagement? Lupa lak). How time flies...

Oh yes, we bought another 2 fishes; 2 goldfishes named Borat and Buran, at the Flora Fest. I know it's supposed to be where you buy flowers but we can't resist to be these 2 beautiful creature. Now we have Borat, Buran, Cumi, Ciki and Ciko. Cikang died 3 days ago.Borat and Buran think they are next DBKL fish. But at a positive side, they actually clean up the aquarium.

Finally I have pets again. My life felt missing if I don't have an animal to be take care of. (But this one Zainal will take care of them).
And I love watching them swimming around.
I felt peace and calm.

Monday Blues

Something funny happened this morning. One guy fell asleep while waiting the traffic lights turned green. At first I was wondering why he hasn't moved. Then when I drove pass him, I saw he was sleeping. Must be very tiring watching Arsenal beat Man Utd. Hehe.. Pity that fellow. All the cars and lorries behind him kept honking when he's happily dreaming in La-la Land. I don't know if he ever wake up. Thank God I'm not in that lane. If yes, it won't be a funny story anymore. Huhu.

I can't sleep last night, so I made a promise to myself. I promised myself not to mention the M-word to anybody from today onwards. What going to happen will happen. For now, I would enjoy and appreciate life as it is. Nothing I can change though.

And yes, we are thinking of opening a business. Hmmm.... must prepare the business plan first, then we can start it by February? InsyaAllah. Any ideas for a company name?

Oh, we got ourself 4 pairs of fish last Saturday. Cute, colourful and small fish. We promised to take care our little pets together. So he brought them home first. By this morning, 2 fishes already died. Natural causes or human error? Hehe... Just hope I still can take care of them by the end of this week.

Desperately in Love

All I want is to be with him. Is that one fact that too hard to swallow? I need to be with him everyday. Being with him complete my day. It's not that I can't live without him; I can, but my day wouldn't be so satisfying.

It's like eating rice. You don't die if you don't eat rice. You still can eat bread, mee or anything else. But after a week or so, you crazed for rice. Eating rice make your whole meal complete.

Same here. He's not my life machine support. I still can breath, still can eat, still can go to work but the air would feel so damp, the food don't taste that good and works stress me out.

So why you need hundreds of reason to be together. One reason is sufficient enough for me. I don't need colourful resume to be king of my heart. I'm not a multinational seeking employees. I just want to be with someone whom I love and love me back.

How I wish life would be that simple. Then I would be one happy woman.

Reason to buy

Marriage is not something that can be done easily. It's not only unite 2 people, but also 2 families. It also become the base of the birth of future souls. Therefore, a suitable partner and family should be choosed. I remember my uncle used to tell me that you are not marrying one person only but the whole family as well. So marrying in the 30-minutes Las Vegas chapel or Siam does not an option for me (even though I always think about doing that lately... in Siam of course. Daripada pergi Las Vegas, baik kahwin elok-elok kat sini, lagi murah..Hah).

So marriage might not so imminent for me (at this hours at least). This is because both families seem like they still wouldn't let go their only daughter and their last son. However, this is not what my friends think... check this out. A poll for who's going to get married soon (after Yon obviously). I won! I won!!! I love winning!!!
Since I have no plan when I'm going to get married, so why deprived myself from buying stuff that I really want? Why should I save money for something that I don't know when it's going to happen? Maybe next month, next year or maybe next 10 years? Who knows????

Therefore, I'm going to add my gadgets collection with this sleek Kodak V705 digital camera. With 7.2 mega pixels, dual lens and others fantastic features, I'm going to get it when the next paycheck in. I'm so not patient to wait for this new camera.

No mood

For one thing, I felt like going home. It just that I don't have any mood to do any job. Yes, I admit. That time of the month again. Hehe... Get easily irritated with everything. Haih.

Tried to call someone for a lunch date but no answer. I tried to be positive and hope that he's sleeping. That's the one valid reason I will accept. Haha...

Beginning of the year means new calender. Suppliers send a lot of calender, planner and diary. I got one calender and one diary. Enough for me. But I already wrote something on that calender and then my boss give me another calender that I like. At least no pictures of pharma products... Bosan ok. But, trying not to be greedy here, I gave to someone else. At one time people will lelong diaries and calender. Who want this, who want that.

Well, the first person who received diaries has a previlege of chossing the best diary. People will come to her table and said, Eh, what a nice planner. Got another one? Huhu... sorry, the early bird gets the worm.

Arghhh... I want to go home and sleep. I want to sleep in his cuddle.....

2006 highlights

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidil Adha and the day after tomorrow is New Year's Day. So Selamat Hari Raya and Happy New Year!!!

Since 2006 will end in less than 26 hours, I would like to take this opportunity to highlight the events that occurred in 2006 for me. Let see...

1. I finally graduated from my tertiary level of education. And that's mean, I already left the school for 6 years... wow.
2. Went to various job interview (yes, various kind of jobs)
   
3. I get my first job and left it after 3 weeks...
4. I get my second job and still holding on...
5. Went to various exams (PTD- twice & fail, TOEFL, GRE)
6. First time celebrated my birthday with my friends in UM, yes, after 4 years... well, better late than never kan.
7. Gain weight, after 9 years of stagnant weight. (ho ho, be careful what you wish. Skrang bermasalah la plak nak maintain weight. Dulu susah sangat nak naikkan weight).
8. Improve my relationship with Zainal.
9. Latest addition: only few days ago, my parents finally let me staying at a rented house in Bangi. Finally, no more 45 minutes of driving to work + everyday overspeed (have to ok, if not I'll be late).
10. Continous harmonious relationship in the family... which is the greatest gift of all time.
11. Oh yes, I got a new niece... Adriana si comel dan garang.

Well.... hopefully 2007 brings more happiness in me... like abah's promise & a wedding bell perhaps? Anyway, let's hope the best for everyone.

C*I*N*T*A

I know this is old news and a lot of bloggers have been writing about this movie. But I love this movie. Cinta show that the new era of Malaysian film has come and the audiance will not feed with Yusof Haslam & Razak Mohideen movie only. No offence to them, but I think that their movies are not worth my 2 hours and 10 bucks to see them.

I watched this movie twice. New record for me. For someone who hardly (I can count with 1 hand) watched Malay movie, this is something big ok. The first one was with my girlfriends 3 days after opening and the second one with my boyfriend just last week. I never thought that it would be that good. What do you axpect from a film that advertised in the radio with an abstract like this: " Majalah ni tak boleh jual." " Ia boleh jual kalau diletakkan di sini." Ape ni? So I was following my girls' idea of watching it. At the end, I was the one who cried a bucket. Sampai lebam mata tu. But it's not fair coz the others were trying to make sure they didn't ruin their make up. But I just couldn't hold my tears, boleh kena migrain you know. Thank God I didn't wear mascara that day or people will mistake me for WWF panda.

The movie showed different kinds of love. It showed that love is universal. It can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any stage of life. Initially I thought it would turn out to be like Love Actually but I think this is better. Maybe the idea was not so original, but how the director connected all 5 stories was brilliant. The cinematography was fantastic. Even Kampung Abdullah Hukum looked beautiful in that story and it showed many faces of Kuala Lumpur.

I'm so into this movie until Zainal download the whole soundtrack album for me. I love all the songs especially Without You by Same Same & Jac. Sampai 2-3 kali la repeat tu. Ntah ape2 la plak bila fikir balik. Hehe.

Well, those who hasn't watch it, please go and watch it with your love ones. It's worth it. Like Ashlee Simpson said, "L O L O V E".

I want to run away

Have you ever thought of running away without telling anyone for awhile? Maybe a week or two.
Just to clear your head and escape from your problems.
Just to escape from everybody's rules and give yourself a freedom that you always wanted.

I wish I had the guts to do that. Really. I wish...

But then, this face popped out in my head...

On second thought, maybe I should bring him too.
Coz he makes my day worth living and take away all my pains.
He's the only one who actually listen to what I say and what I feel.
I need him.

I had a nightmare .... and you were in it

I dreamed that you left me last night. You left me for my friend that just come back from UK. You ignore me totally and was with her all the time. I was fine the first 3 days but the fourth day, I was livid. I was hoping you came back to me. But after waiting, I realized you weren't coming back. I asked you for the reasons but you just ignored me. You made me looked like a fool. I was begging you to at least tell me the reasons so that I understand my mistake. After few days you finally spoke up. I wish I never asked that question. You told me that you never love me anyway. You said I was selfish, ignorant and act like I was too good to be true. It just broke my heart completely. You said that she's the one you love. I remembered your face and how you said it. It was so cruel. It felt like you have no regret about this whole thing.

I woke up and I cried. I immediately took wudhu' and performed solat. I pray that this will not going to happen. I know how hard it is coz I've experinced once. I don't want to feel that feeling again. I pray that our relationship will stay strong until the end of our life with love and happiness surround us.

I've been dreaming weird stuff lately. I must wash my feet really hard and double my doa sebelum tidur this times.

Destress

One fine evening at one delicious open house, Suraya asked me how I destressed or chilled out after working. She asked me how the working life and how I spend my day? She's going to start working next month and trying to imagine working life. Well, it was tough questions I might say.

First of all, I just worked for like what, 1 and the half month. And the 1 month before this can be considered too. Working at previous job before lead me to very stressful life. I didn't like the job, I didn't like the journey and I ended up MCs all the time. (Not all the time la, but considering the 1 month timeframe, it was a lot ok. I easily stressed out and popping my migrain pills more than ever.

Now, at this current work, with the same duration with previous job, I found myself enjoying whatever I did. Even though I have to drive 45 minutes each way, I filled my journey with the music, thanks to Hitz.fm and Fly fm. Sometimes (more like always) I would dropped by at the well, my haven, to meet my sweetheart to destress myself. Well, the only stress I got right now is the angry phone calls from my mom for coming back late. Hehe.

Sometimes I wish I can stay nearer to Bangi so that I can wake up a lit bit late without having to drive like mad woman to compensate the extra sleep time just to be on time at work. Yeah, I wish mom would approved her lil and only (now, a grown up) daughter to live by her own and learn to be independent.

My weekends is reserved for my loves one (family, lover and friends - even though it seems like more towards the lover). And I do realize that weekend always pass me by with a blink of eyes. Without you realize, it's Monday again.

So Suraya, how I destress my life? I sleep and sleep and sleep. (Caution: sweet food can make you fat. So when stress, don't eat, sleep).

Freedom of being me

There's something in my life that always bug me. The ability for me to live my life independently without having other people control it. No matter how hard I try to do this, there's always somebody who try to control me. Even though I already eliminated one person, another person would eventually turn to be my control freak.

In return, I missed out all the money-can't-buy experience like camping in schooling years, duduk rumah sewa, field trips and so much more.

When I reflected my life, in a way I can conclude that even though people give you money to make you happy, they can't give you satisfaction, experience, freedom and self-esteem. They make themselves loved by their money, not their virtue and own self. Sad eh.

I wish I can turn back time and do all the things I miss. But it's impossible. All I can do right now, change my life and gain back my freedom. Try to do things that I missed out. Like camping.

But first of all, how am I going to convince them to give me my freedom to optimize my life?

Get well soon

How do you feel when your other half is sick and alone right now and you are 30 minutes away from him and can't do anything about him except giving a lot of bullshit advices on how to get well (and you know that it won't work because you are not a doctor ok). I felt like a poo. How I wish I am by his side right now nursing and just be there for him. Hmmm... hold on darling. Hopefully I can escape tomorrow's makan-makan to be with you.

When stuff like this happen, you started to think nonsense. What if that happened questions started popping in your brain. As a result, you keep calling him just to make sure he's all right when the truth is you making him sicker as he cannot rest properly without being disturbed by you. So what should I do? What's the correct action should be taken?

Capturing Raya

I would like to wish everybody a Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1427H. Maaf zahir dan batin. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau ade yang secara tak sengaja atau sengaja menulisnye kat sini.

Well, hope everybody has a wonderful raya yesterday. I know I had a wonderful time yesterday. Minus the cold and constant sneezing. Yang penting gambar raya masih cantik.

Let's the picture do the talking... We were at my atuk's house in Muar.

2 boring stories

It's almost 2 weeks I didn't update this blog. Not that nothing happened. It just that I didn't want it to be a single post for every story coz it would make me look like a loser with the capital L.

The first one was my pre-employment medical check up. Trying to work at phamaceutical company has it's price. They are very concern about your health especially if you have contagious disease. So in the letter to the hospital, they requested that I should be checked on stuff like skin diseases, TB and irritable bowel syndrome. So after taking a syringe of blood and urine sample, they wanted my stool sample. Obviously I couldn't give them at that moment so I have to take back the bottle and would sent it later. But my body refused to give me the sample, so I end up returning to the hospital with the sample after 3 days. Ha, good luck to the lab technicians.

Secondly, last weekend I had my buka puase with the Subang friends but end up very angry after that. The reason: The restaurant didn't refill the buffet table when the food had finished (even before azan. Can you imagine?). And we end up eating rice with vegetables only. And yet we have to pay the full price of that buffet. I warned you people, this restaurant "Restoran Ani Sup Utara" at Shah Alam would do this to you. Don't easily attracted to the lucky draw stuff... focus on your food. No point if you can join the lucky draw but no food to eat. Not going to that restaurant again. Unless I win the lucky draw... hehe.

So there you go. Nothing interesting happened in my life right now. I'm just waiting for the good news this Friday. So, I will update on the good news. Please pray for me kay. Thanx.

Ps: This is a very boring post. Even me feeling sleepy half way through.

Friends are precious

My favourite picture of all... maybe becoz I look tall kot. hehe

Dear friends,

First of all, I would like to extend my gratitude for your support and concern this past few days. Sorry for being one angry woman and thanks for calming me down. I never really actually express my negative emotions to you guys before... so when times like this I don't know how to express it properly and end up like this.

I'm so touched that you guys really really care about me, I never thought you guys did. I definitely was so wrong. So glad we did this coz at the end it's worth it. Your smiles remind me all the good memories in UM. Something that can't never be replaced.

Then,
Leen: Thanks for listening to my complaints... your fast responds and your everyday post in circles made my job easier...

Mai: Like leen, thanks for fast responds even though you're in south... and your call last night, really really made my day. Even though I only received voice messages after that, but hearing your sisterly advice was nice.

Liya: Thanks for coming my house to pick it personally and really like that poster. It felt worth it when people love that stuff.

Nida: Thanks for your concern and ideas... some that I cannot change, sorry but I replace something nice... and I don't think I can be in your shoes when organizing stuff like this. You are a lagend.

Last but not least.... Zainal who listening to my endless whining in the wee hour and actually came out with one brilliant idea to replace that frame. Haih.. asal tak boleh terfikir bende tu.

Oh yes, Mr Ted.. Jangan menyesal lepas ni ye.... Thank you very very much.

Now, I officially announced that this project is finished and succed. (sekarang tunggu apa kata korang lepas tengok the real thing.)

I'm angry

Have you ever volunteered to do stuff (this is not including charity) and at the end of the day you regret that you actually volunteered it?

You thought this would end fast and without messy sequences. You realized that you wasted an awful lots of time, money and patience...

Geez, at this point, my patience toward this darn poster is as thin as ice on the lake in spring time. Any provocation from anybody from that butch of people will lead to the eruption of my wrath and I can end up doing something stupid.

I just can't take anymore. IKEA is out of stock of that stupid fragile frame? Are you kidding me? The fact that I have to pay one extra + my time going there + my petrol + traffic jam, now I have to go there again 2 weeks time?

I just had enough of this.

At this moment, all I want to do is to break every frame that I had with me so that nobody gets it. Ha... dah la I still have to pay same amount like everyone yang tak perlu bersusah payah ke hulu hilir pasal bende ni. Tak masuk lg bilangan SMS yang kena hantar kat semua orang everytime I need to make a decision, to remind them and to force them. Bengangnye..... Dah la sekarang tgh broke giler.... Every cent counts u know.

The unfortunate events of a photographer and his assistant

Once upon a time in a far far away, there were 6 young women who just graduated and wanted to have their memoriable day captured by professional photographer. Instead of going to studio like everyone else, they came out with this wonderful idea of asking the photographer to come to their university and shot them in background of the university's landmarks. Mr Ted came into the picture and after half day posing in heavy robe under blazing sun, few hundreds of picture were snapped.

A week or so after that, they received the soft copy of their pictures from Mr Ted. Then Mr Ted suggested a fantastic idea of doing a collage of their picture into one huge poster. Everybody agreed and at that point Mun was elected as their representative to deal with Mr Ted. Little they knew that this idea will lead them into one hell month.

First job was to find a perfect frame size for the poster. After browsing IKEA catalogue for hundredth time, Mun couldn't find the size of Mr Ted's ideal poster. So, with few other options, Mun asked opinion from other 5 persons to decided which one sould they choose. But asking for their opinion was a challenge as only 2 persons actually responded to her request in the forum. It was funny since most of them a internet junkie yet they just couldn't be online at this critical hours.

After decided about it, Mun draged her mom to IKEA on one fine afternoon. They never realized that particular day was second last day of IKEA yearly sale. As you can imagine, the crowd there was unbearable. It was unnecassary sale for Mun as she discovered that their frame was not on sale. And she found the perfect size that Mr Ted dreamed about. So all the long discussion with the girls was a waste. Happily she bought 12 pieces for 6 of them and give Mr Ted for further works.

Two three days later, Mr Ted send a poster design to Mun. She posted it at the forum and everybody agreed that they didn't like it (when it comes to mengutuk, everyone respond so fast la). Then Mr Ted did another one and this time, they really like it. Mind you, to get this agreement, it tooks one whole week. So Mr Ted asked for final words if they really like it and take it as their design. After another 4 days, everybody agreed but little they knew that Mun already said yes to Mr Ted 2 days earlier. Suddenly came up one smartpant who suggest to change this and that and Mun has to dismiss her as the final decision was made.

Now, come the hardest part. Do they really want to buy it after hearing the printing price? The price was high enough to make people think about it 4 times. Mr Ted was kind enough to give the printing cost only without designing charges. With pressure from Mr Ted to finish up the job as quickly as he can and the late respond from other girls, Mun was stucked in the middle of decision problems. When one by one finally replied their decision, it was too late for Mr Ted to continue the job as he would leave for paternity leaves for 1 week.

Then Mun discovered that one of the girl didn't want the poster coz it was too big according to her. Excuse me? Mun already bought 12 frames. And who the hell gonna pay her another 2 remainder? After some words exchanged, she agreed to buy the frames only. Sometimes Mun wonder why some people who has fixed income, single and stayed in 3-bedroom-with-8-occupants-apartment would be so stingy enough to spend for this just one time memoriable poster. But then again who are we so say about them.

At the meantime while waiting for Mr Ted to come back from his leaves, Mun collected the payment from other 4 girls. It was not easy task mind you.

When Mr Ted came from his leaves, bad luck started to fall on him. First stop was to discovered that 2 frames was broke. To add the salt to the injury, one piece of the shattered glass hit his knee leaving him bleeding, a hole in his skin and one funny walking gait. The next day, he found out that another 1 frame broke. Then he realized that he accidently print 2 same poster and didn't print another one. Since it was his fault, he has to bear all the cost. Finally 1 day before passing the frames and posters to Mun, another frame broke. In all, he has to pay 4 broken frames (and 1 extra poster).

He rang Mun to take the frames and posters in one horrible Friday evening. That evening too, Mr Ted has a bus to catch to go back to his hometown. Mun was stucked in the traffic jam for 45 minutes before realized it was too late to meet Mr Ted coz Mr Ted would miss his bus so she just u-turn and stucked in the jam again. Later she found out that Mr Ted missed his bus anyway and he had to drive all the way.

So the meeting was resceduled to next Tuesday. After paying him the printing cost and putting all the frames in Mun car, she set a journey to meet her sweetheart. It was one hell of driving experience. Every pothole, bump and anything higher that the road gave a knot in her stomach. All the way she prayed that all the frames would be in one piece when she arrived. Eventually her prayer was not answered and 1 frame broke when she arrived at the destination.

To prevent any further damage, her boyfriend has to sacrifuce his blanket to wrap the frame one by one so that it won't broke on the journey back to her house. It was a very wise choice indeed as all the frame was safe.

Then came the storage problem. How to make sure that the frame is not broken again? Thank God for Mun's box fetish, she managed to find a suitable box to keep the frames.

The conclusion, 5 frames was broke and so does 2 other pockets. And the girl who didn't want the poster didn't have to buy the frames in the end.

Morale of the story: Why does some ideas remain ideas? Coz people know it's crazy.

Ramadhan is here again

Today is the 3rd day of Ramadhan... almost cannot fast on the first day because my red friend visited me few days before. Nasib baik dier balik the night before 1st Ramadhan. Boleh la puasa. I really cannot afford losing fasting day. Coz I have XX days pending for replacement from last year and last last year.

One of my weakness, replacing fast. Every year I have to pay fidyah, which is not bad since a lot of unfortunate people get the advantages of my weakness. Haih.

My friends' favourite question to me before Ramadhan: Dah abis ganti puasa?
Me: *Smile sheepishly* Belum
My friends: Berapa hari lagi?
Me: *Smile sheepishly again* XX days (notice: XX days not X days)
Them: *Mouth opened performing perfect O like hungry goldfish*

Every year I want to start replacing fast early but I never did. This year I promise myself to start early, no more last minute. Is it possible to puasa penuh this year?

Neway, selamat berpuasa, berbuka, bersahur & bertarawikh... Selamat menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubharak

The friend that never was

Have you ever had a friend that everyone thought that both of you are best friends but deep down inside you really hate her to bits. Yes I do. I thought she was my close friend too but after 2 years, I realized that she used me, a lot. When you care for someone, you will do stuff for them willingly but in this case I realized I was used and she didn't care about me at all. Yes, in front of people she would said "Don't hurt mun, she's my best friend." But nobody knows that she didn't even respect me at all.

I don't know why suddenly I'm very pissed off at her tonight. It just that all the things she did to me kept flashing in my head.

I remember one time, when I just acknowledge her as one of my close friend, she laughed and mocked at me when I told her my problem. WTF? I felt ridiculed and at the same time ashamed that how she could play with my feeling. From that day onwards, I realized she was never my friend. Friend never judged and ridiculed you. They listen, care and support you.

I remember one time she has promised me to go to some festival together. So I was rushing from home to pick her up. Yes, I admitted it was a bit late coz it was raining and as you know raining in KL means traffic jam. On the way to pick her up, she send me a message saying that she didn't want to go coz she didn't feel like to. I called her immediately but she never answered. I went to her room, knocking at her door like poor beggar but she didn't open the door. I saw the light and fan was on so you know what it means. The next day she didn't even apologize and acted as if nothing happened. I was so pissed off, I didn't talk to her at all all week even though I sat next to her in class. Surprise surprise. The week after that incident she asked me to pick her before I went to test centre. WTH.. Now you know why I said she used me.

I hate it when she self proclaimed that she was my best friend and she knew me. She never even call me. She missed call me and hoping I call back. In your dream bitch. When she send text messages, it always about something she needs from me. Never message of asking me how am I doing or something like that. I remember she said that I got more money so I should call her. Hello!! How about that she called her boyfriend 2-3 times a day and all I can hear what she talked about was "Abang....yayang rindu abang la....". Wueksss... *vomit*. So you have credit to call your boyfriend, but you don't have it to call your 'best friend'. I don't need her to call me and talked for 1 hour. Sometimes when there were important things, please call me and inform me. She never did.

At one raya, she asked me not to do open house until she came back from her Borneo home. Okay, I scheduled my open house so that she can come. Guess what? She never did. She went dating with her boyfriend. Sometimes you wondered where this friendship goes right?

I know she always used me coz I have transportation. But do she ever paid for anything. I don't mind if it's short distance journey. I sometimes tumpang my friend's car. But she never ever offered to pay for petrol in this 4 years of friendship. I remeber 1 time I asked her for toll money and she showed me a 50 ringgit note. WTH. It's only rm1 and she said she has no change. And as you can guess of course la I don't take the money. Sometimes, I don't need the money for my petrol but I hope that she at least offered to pay or even help me filling the petrol. She just sat in the car and acted like I'm her driver.

She almost made me broke up with my boyfriend. She compared him with her boyfriend. It's not fair coz hers staying like 5 minutes from here and mine was like 45 minutes from here. So when her boyfriend has to move to Klang, I laughed at her face. And I felt so good of doing it. And she did it (trying to break us) again in my final year. She talked me out of the relationship by supporting me to have affair with my lecturer. Please la... My love is stronger than that ok.

Now, my few friends complaining about her to me that she being selfish and sometimes doesn't care about people's feeling. I just smiled coz I've been through that earlier than them. I even had to live with her for 2 years.

I always hate the way she tought that she was the important people in the gang. At one time, we all went to a play except her (coz she didn't want to). It was a wonderful play and we talked about it all the time and how we had a blast time. Suddenly she exclaimed that we're happy when she's not that there. Well, of course, I shouted in my heart la. But verbally I said that it's her choice not coming with us, so don't blaimed us. What she think of herself? She think if she wasn't there, we will feel bored and had no fun?

I'm so glad that she didn't make to the photo shot we had as our last project. Another of her stupid excuses. I'm happy that at least when I looked at my convo pictures, I only see my true friends.... the one that care about me. The one that I will always remember and miss.

Footnote: she might read this (or not!). I know she read my blog. But do I look that I care? Hell no.

You are my sleeping pills

When I'm with you
The world seems to be a calmer place
I feel loved and I'm not afraid
You let me know that
You'll be by my side
no matter what comes through
Baby, you're my sleeping pills.

When I'm with you
I'm in my deepest sleep
There's nothing that shake me
and keep me awake
Baby, you're my sleeping pills.

Baby, I've got you
To share the day and night
I just need you and I'll be okay (trust me)
Baby, you're my sleeping pills
and I'm in the sweetest dreams.

If I have a punk emo rock band, this gonna be one of my hit singles. Haha (perasan).
Dedicated to my u-know-who-u-r.

Waiting for a call

It is universally known that when a man said he'll call you back, most probably he will not. If the statement is wrong, I wouldn't staying up till 3 am writing this entry.

Just out of curiosity, why he, at the first place, has to say that? At least has a heart, give a SMS saying he can't or whatever. At least I can proceed to my beauty sleep. Sigh.

cobaan

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Athirah + Adriana in action

Trying to capture the perfect picture of my nieces. But I guess it was not that easy. Better to capture their perfect moment of togetherness...

I really am scared today

I went to Pameran Hantu, Jin, Keranda dan ... at Shah Alam today. I was excited for a long time about it that I have it reminded at my phone everyday. But yesterday Zainal told me that there's 3-4 bomohs will sit at the exit door to 'scan' anything that follow us. Uh-uh... Tak nak pergi la. My dad yang excited nak pergi tu pun tetiba tak jadik pergi. My mom siap ajar ayat yang perlu dibaca 7 times or 14 or 21 or just read that all the way la. Anyway, I went there with Zainal.

When we arrived there, a poster written said that the exhibition will end on 15th September. Eh? I thought 4th October? Whateva. Since it's tuesday and not a school holiday, it's empty. Thank God there's a family of three in front of us.

Awal-awal, biasela penerangan about jin bla bla... We roughly read and walked away. Suddenly we realized that we were the only 2 people there. Then Zainal said why don't we wait for that family. Okay.... so pretending to look at the surrounding which was not much. Kata baru masuk memang la takde ape2 kat situ lagi.

After the family walked pass us, we came to a very dark place. I meant it, it's very dark. I actually almost trip over that small boy. Then I heard a voice (don't worry, it's just the worker there).

"Sape nak tengok hantu pocong datang sini."

And that uncle switched on the torchlight on his handphone. Hello uncle, why the hell you did that? You will made the 'thing' angry okay. I was gripping hard on Zainal's hand.

"Tak nampak pun. Jom gi tempat lain," I pleaded.

"Tengok jap je. Tak semua orang nampak pun," answered him calmly.

Hopefully it wasn't me. By that time, I was reciting Ayat Kursi repeatedly.

Then I heard someone said, "Tak nampak pun. Ape kau baca ni?"

Sorry guys, I was me.

So we went away. There's jenglot, toyol (which is still alive and they feed him milk every night-according to one pakcik there) and many more which I don't want to remember since I wrote this at midnight and I'm alone right now and yes, I'm also a bit coward in this area. At this point Zainal let go my hand which according to me, I might hurted him unconciously.

At the last exhibition area, we met this one pakcik which told us about things there. He said he has been there twice. He asked me to hold (or pat) the toyol (which was already 'diawetkan' and dead) which I politely said no thank you pakcik with 'are you crazy pakcik' in my mind. Well, it was lucky to meet him as he gave us a lot of info which made the exhibition scarier than it was already as since he has a lot of story related to that. I asked the pakcik if he saw the pocong but he said that he didn't. He said that we Muslim usually harder to see since we have kalimah Lailahaillallah at our forehead. Phew, what a relieve.

Then Zainal decided to head back to the hantu pocong. O K A Y. Being a supportive partner I agreed even though dalam hati rase macam nak tikam-tikam je dier.

I don't know if they switched on the light or that place seems brighter than before but at least I could saw the cage of the 'thing'. We sat there with other few girls and listening to the the museum worker told stories about this stuff.

Suddenly Zainal said, "Cuba tengok tu... awak nampak tak....." paused.

"Nampak ape?" Paused again. Then he just shaked his head.

Nampak ape? NAMPAK APE? I didn't see anything. Not like I want. Okay, recited Ayat Kursi again.

After 20 minutes, we gave up. I relieved. This is one thing that I don't care if I didn't see. So we exited and the pakcik was not there anymore. Felt pity to him that we left him there and just walked away to see that 'thing'.

Well, takde pun bomoh-bomoh tu. Just 2 men lepaking at the door. Are they? I dunno la.

Well, good exhibition compared the last time at National Museum. At least it scared me off.

Oh ya, by the way, Zainal told me what he saw after we went out. No I won't tell you. Remembering this stuff at wee this hour was already a torture to me okay.

100th Post

Here I am sitting next to someone who has maths test tomorrow. I'm supposed to help him but at the end I'm the one who messed his head. (He said 'mane ade....' while petting my head. Meow meow).

This is my 100th post. Who would thought that I've written 100 post, uneducational nonsense post.

So I'm gonna waste my 100th post by this another nonsense post.

Hahahahhahhahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahaahaahahahhaah....

(Dunno why I became a bit crazy today. Maybe after hearing that my dad will send me to Kluang to work there if I didn't get any job. Sigh.)

We Knew Each Other

It's the time again when somebody's sister and brother are getting married. We are quite young (ye ke) to attend our friends' wedding as nobody is going to get married in these few months. So we just attend friends' sibling kenduri. The thing about Subang is that your friends' sister or brother usually your senior in the school. So we don't feel so awkward attending their wedding. Last week was Liyana's brother at Sheraton Subang and yesterday was Amri's sister at Dewan Jubli Perak Shah Alam.

Well, the best part of this (apart from the free food of course) is the chance to meet old friends back. It's like mini reunion. This is the time where stories will be exchange and old jokes will be repeat again. It feel so nice coz it's feel very familiar and comforting. It's nice to know that these are the people who you have grown up together, people who is at all over the world and finally when you are together again, it seems that we have just meet yesterday.

It's weird when you meet once or twice a year but you can continue the story that left behind. So, you still have crush at that person? She did that? You did this? And so on. Ah, I love reunion but except my class reunion la (psl dah kena bar kot. Asyik tak datang je. Sape suruh buat malam ada AF?). So when is the next wedding? Count me in (and jangan lupa ajak Zainal. Hehe.)

At Amri's sister wedding, Kak Siti Salina (prefect yang garang).


With Zainal at Liyana's brother wedding, An and Kak Suria (they has been together since form 2!). This is not exactly reunion la since I see him almost everyday, but hell, this is my blog. Suka hati la nak taruk gambar ape kan.With Nadhirah at Sheraton Subang.

The First Test

Yey... I passed my first test in meeting my future mother-in-law. I helped her to babysit my future nieces last Weds and this is the result (from what Zainal said):

"Pandai jaga budak. Tak nangis pun budak tu." That cute little girl even like me!! (A triumph for someone who doesn't like small kids).

"Tak banyak cakap la dia ni." Is that a good or bad thing? I assumed a good thing la kan. Well, kind of expecting this already. I am a quiet person unless I really knew you.

So hopefully the next test will not come so soon. =)

Yey.... I didn't miss the fireworks

It's 5 minutes before 12 am when suddenly Naqib asked me if I wanted to see the fireworks.

"Tak nampak la, ade pokok kacau view KLCC."

"Bukan dari rumah la.. Kita naik kereta la gi somewhere."

Before my mom said yes, I grabbed my purse and handphone, screamed to Naqib to move his ass faster and we were on the way to Sunway. 2 minutes before the fireworks, we parked ourselves at a petrol station with few other cars.

In many months this was the first time I came out at midnight. This was truly merdeka. Suddenly I didn't want to watch to fireworks. I want to enjoy the moment. The moment that will be lost another 10 minutes.

After finishing my studies and back to my parents house, I was back with the curfew rules. After 4 years of rebellious, I miss my freedom. I miss the late night outings. I miss the midnight shows. I miss the premier night of a movie. I miss the late night supper at Hartamas. I miss the heart shape waffle at Hartamas. I miss the quiet and empty road at night. I miss wandering around Bangsar late at night. I miss the look at UM pak guard when I came in at 3am (before they became strict which was enforced last year. They spoilt my final year). I miss the eerie feeling when going to both 1st and 12th colleges' toilet at 4am. I miss driving around UM 3 times in 4.30am. Mostly I miss the driver that usually did all of above with me. (and yes, I'm a night owl. Definitely not a morning person.)

What merdeka means to me this year? I don't know. I never know what merdeka means to me personally. Pathetic. I don't know.

My life has always been restricted in any forms until I could mould myself into respectful woman (that's what I thought). That's was 4 years ago. Then I came to uni and life changed. I'm with Zainal, I had family feud and I gained my self-confidence and independent. But I still not that bad la if you looked from far. Inside, I had grown tremendously this last 2 years especially. Did I find my freedom? No, I'm still scared and still can't made any decision. And I'm still searching my self-freedom.

However, I'm happy and proud that my country has merdeka for 49th years... Happy Merdeka Day everyone.

When I Grow Up, I Want To Be...

Kids nowadays can have their inspiration what to become when they grow up by just watching tv. Back then when Chicago Hope and ER were very popular, they were a lot of people who wanted to be a doctor. I think that syndrom had effected my batch since in my Asasi year, everybody wanted to be a doctor. As the result, if you only you get 4.00 CGPA, you will be accepted to do medicine. Some people that I know, who tak sedar diri dapat 2.7, wanted to take medic also. I remember his mother talked to me about even if his CGPA was low, if he was given a chance to do medic, he will excelled. Come on la... there were thousands of people who deserved more than him. At the end he went to Indonesia to do medic.

Anyway, back to the topic. Tv shows today showed a lot of specific job in their stories. I'm talking about American tv shows la. Malaysia tv shows always limited to businessman (I don't know what business they do), minah kilang, secretary and mat rempit (is it a job?). As if la that's the only job that Malaysian do. Well, the tv shows (American) like ER, Chicago Hope, House MD, Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs focused the profession in medical especially doctors. (I hope after watching Scrubs, the kids would understand that doctors are not perfect okay). Then there's lawyer with Ally Macbeal, The Practice and Boston Legal. Cops come next with NYPD Blues, Cops and Law and Order. The forensic team was shown in the CSI series (CSI: Miami, CSI:Las Vegas and CSI: New York) and Numb3rs. The firefighters in Rescue Me. Even politician get their show in The West Wing. So my question is where the hell is engineers?

The only show that show the magnificent (ehem, ehem) of an engineer is Prison Break (the season 2 is out already!!). The main character in the story was a structural engineer. Even though he's in the jail, but he was in there with a purpose, to free his brother. And the best part was he has planned everything to escape from the prison. That's what unique about an engineer. They are always precise, accurate and don't take chances. Everything is well planned and every error will have compensation. When I was watching Prison Break, first time I felt so proud to be an engineer. (Even though I'm not working yet, but I'm in this area, okay.)

Engineers always become the shadows behind everything. When you watch ER where the doctors were saving the patients life using the defibrillator and patient monitor to monitor the patients, have you ever think that all the equipments were designed, built and maintained by biomedical engineers? (Nak promote biomedic engineering skit kat sini). Imagine this situation... A patient was rushed into the emergency room, dying. The heart beat has become slower and if nothing was done, the patient might died. Can doctor save him without defib? Do you think doctor was strong enough to press his chest to get back the patient normal heart beat? Think about that....

Well, let's not mention the job of civil engineers, mechanical engineers, electrical engineers, computer engineers, material engineers, petroleum engineers and industrial engineers. There are a lot of engineers in this world but no show about this one noble job? (How the kids want to appreciate this job?). Maybe Malaysian scriptwriter can make one (but please do your homework first la Malaysian writer, kekadang tu nampak sangat tak logik dan tak betul.)

To engineers out there, you the nation's builder...

Why Mosquitoes Like Me Very Much

Everything in this world was made with a purpose by Allah. They might not directly useful to human but they might means a lot to other creature. So every fauna and flora in this world must be protected from exctinction.

If, I mean if, you were given a wish to make an animal, whether it's wild animal, insect or whatever under the animal kingdom to become exctinct and gone from this world, which one will you choose?

I obviously vote mosquitoes and ants (oklah, I pick two). However, mosquitoes will win my vote anytime. Mosquitoes must really hate me or love me (depends whether you are on my side or the insect's side). Whenever there's a mosquito, I'm the first person who will get bite. Before people realise there's mosquitoes in that area, I can know already by the red marks on my body. Experts have making a lot of studies about people like me. Here's a few that I managed to google.

"Experiments show that, like Rubenstein, some people are just irresistible to mosquitoes, and others, like her husband, don't have the same allure. It's not just a myth."

"Then there's your skin: Scientists have found isolated compounds on the body's largest organ that may attract different types of mosquitoes, depending on how the chemicals are combined. A blend of three--lactic acid, acetone, and dimethyl disulfide--is particularly appealing to the mosquito that carries yellow fever, says Dan Kline, a research entomologist at the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Agricultural Research Service in Gainesville, Fla. Mosquitoes from Brazil and the United States were attracted to slightly different combinations of these chemicals, he says, suggesting attractants also vary by geography.

They also vary by person. Takken's group just completed a study of mosquito appeal among 28 human volunteers. (They used a special chamber that funnels human scents to the mosquitoes but protects volunteers from actually getting bitten.) "There was a consistent difference in who was least attractive and who was most attractive," says Takken. "Some people simply produce more of compound X than compound Z." One study from Australia even suggests your genes may hold the keys to what makes a mosquito decide that you make a good meal."

-US News

Apparently Malaysian mosquitoes love me.

"Scientists do know that genetics account for a whopping 85% of our susceptibility to mosquito bites. They've also identified certain elements of our body chemistry that, when found in excess on the skin's surface, make mosquitoes swarm closer.

"People with high concentrations of steroids or cholesterol on their skin surface attract mosquitoes," Butler tells WebMD. That doesn't necessarily mean that mosquitoes prey on people with higher overall levels of cholesterol, Butler explains. These people simply may be more efficient at processing cholesterol, the byproducts of which remain on the skin's surface."

"Any type of carbon dioxide is attractive, even over a long distance," Conlon says. Larger people tend to give off more carbon dioxide, which is why mosquitoes typically prefer munching on adults to small children. Pregnant women are also at increased risk, as they produce a greater-than-normal amount of exhaled carbon dioxide. Movement and heat also attract mosquitoes.

-Web MD

I got high cholesterol on my skin? Might be, especially after I put on some weight lately. But the genetic part might be true too. But I get bite first than others in the family (exceptional if Naqib also in the range. He will get first, then only me).

Well, since no solid evidence has been discovered by the scientist, I might has to deal with all the mosquitoes which is biting me at this very moment. It's annoying especially when they buzzed at your ear when you are trying to sleep. The worst part is, I can't stand the smell of the insect repellant spray; I can get asthma attack. So my hope is depends on other mosquito repellent that doesn't smell so much especially those which use electric power.

By the way, I heard there's a plant that mosquitoes hate. If there is any, I really want it.

You are not alone

Sometimes in life you think that you are all alone and forgotten by others. You think that life has abondoned you and time moves faster than you can catch up. You sulked and sat at the corner of the room just to make way to others so that they don't trip over you. You hated yourself for being such a loser. Everybody is so succesful but you.... depressed at home. Pathetic.

Then the handphone beeped. A message received. A long lost friend congrats you and missed you. You smiled. Another message received. A former roommates who always put a smile on your face texted that she loves you and also missed you. Your smile grew bigger. Another beep. A new friend that you just met asked how are you. Then another beep. Your love one messaged that he loves you. You grinned alone.

Who said that you are alone?

One Proud Day

After 4 years in UM, finally came the day where everybody was allowed to be as proud as they can be. The convocation day! Engineering faculty was on Thursday and I was excited like hell. Who wouldn't be? After 4 years struggling (more than 4 years actually. It started the moment I chose science stream back in form 4) of maths, assignment, thesis and exams, finally the day that people can recognized you as somebody who is worth to employ for. Let's pictures speak for that day.

The proud moment.

The proud parents.The proud boyfriend. (ye ke? My tudung didn't do me justice that day)The proud classmates (half of class la).

Weeeee.....

Random Quiz for a Boring Night

What the?

You Are 64% Scary

Sorry to break it to you, but you're a pretty scary chick. Men don't know what you'll do or say next, and that freaks them out.

Do You Scare Off Men?

This is better

Let's Call You a Silver Digger

You don't weigh a man's appeal only on his income But you've never been known to turn down a free dinner Does this make you sleezy? Not at all! Just make sure not to miss out on your dream guy... Income brackets can change :-)

Are You A Gold Digger?

Hmmmm....

Your Spicy Score: Mild

You may not make the hottest first impression.. But you're definitely the type of girl that sticks in a guy's mind. You prefer to play things cool. You know that good things come to those who wait. And the amazing thing about you is that you get hotter over time!

How Spicy Are You?

Last but not least....

Your Love Quote

Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.

What Love Quote Suits You?

Story of a Love

This is the story of my cousin...

My cousin, X (not the real name) was coupled with Y (not the real name) for 6 years. So this year they decided to engage. But apparently Y parents not very excited about this coz they postponed it 2 times when my uncle and aunt wanted to visit them. Their reasons were unacceptable such as there were too many wedding they have to attend, too many people going to hajj and they have to visit etc. Finally they agreed on a date and all the preparations was on the way.

Until a week before the engagement, Y father called X to ask about the hantaran and all. X frankly told Y's father to discuss that matter with his parents on the engagement day. But Y's father was furious and told Y that X was hard to deal with even before marrying Y. He then called X's father and cancelled the engagement.

X was furious (and he also quite stubborn la, no doubt) and agreed with all things. We asked him to call Y and discussed about this but he refused. He refused to pujuk Y's father because he said that Y's father has hurted his father and must apologized to his father. At the end, they broke up.

Three months later, we (my family la) got a call from my aunt (X's mother) that X was going to get engaged. But with other girl, Z (not the real name too). We were shocked as X and Y was broke up just 3 months ago. I was wondering if this is the case of rebound guy? (Cleo had warned all girls about rebound guy, get away from them). But X insisted on it, and we just went along with him. X and Z even wanted to shorten their engagement period. Futhermore, Z's family was welcoming us with so much joy and happiness which is so opposite with Y's family.

Last Sunday, X came to our house. He always come to our house, so it's quite normal. After he went back, my grandma told me what he told her. X was very quiet person, so to have him talk was quite difficult. But that day, my grandma said he volunteered talking and telling my grandma about his feeling.

Apparently, Z wanted the whole marriage thing to go so fast. X was still in vague about the whole process. When asked about the ring which was about to give to Y, X said he gave Y as birthday present last month. He remembered that Y really like that ring when he bought it. He said he still can't forget Y. From what my grandma gathered, if Y wanted him back (of course she wants la, but the parents was the problem) X would definitely want her back too.

Well, from my view, I don't know if I can fall in love with other people and get married after just 3 months of knowing him. And, the break up was not even our fault. I felt pity with X and Y. They loved each other but Y's parents were selfish enough to acknowledge their love. (Don't give some bullshit about they are not suitable. Both are them are graduated accountant and my cousin came from good family). I don't know other people. Some people said that no matter how long you know him but if it's not your fate, you'll never be together too. Hmmm....

Ajal dan jodoh semuanya di tangan Tuhan.

Wangi Jadi Saksi

An attempt to be cultured and also out of curiousity, I went to see Wangi Jadi Saksi play at Panggung DBP last Saturday. After stucked in Saturday afternoon traffic jam, we arrived there 10 minutes late and thank God they just opened the door when we arrived.

The story was very simple actually if you understand. It's about Dang Wangi who was Hang Jebat's wife (I didn't know this. All I know was Balai Polis Dang Wangi. Hehe) who witnessed the conflict between Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. This story was told with flasbacks. According Dang Wangi's story, Jebat was not killed by Tuah but by Patih Kerma Wijaya. Furthermore, during the 7 days and 7 nights of 'fighting' between Tuah and Jebat was actually more of a talk and discussion between both of them. Hmmm.... (Now I'm more confuse of history than I already have since secondary school).

After the play finished, there's a Q&A session with casts, writer and producer. Even U-Wei Hj Shaari (he wrote this) himself explained about the play. They even distributed notes about acting in theatre. (Now I understand what bullshit ruang-ruang that Adlin always said in the AF. The notes explained the ruang-ruang we have in a play. No wonder la he always stress that stuff.) Soon I found out that day they have this session because there's a lot of student attending the play.

This play was not as majestic as PGL The Musical. Even the prop they used looked not very nice. Something that prevent me from fall asleep was the present of ninja-ninja (they were the production team). All I can say is that after this, the attempt of culturing myself will be limited to musical theatre only. No heavy drama like this, especially when your BM result was a shame to your BM teachers. Hihi.

Anyway, this is more details and more academic (!) la review from shahnon.

The gang with Vanidah Imran as Dang Wangi.

(Amik gambar ni dari blog shahnon) The opening curtain. I try to read it, but half way I forgot what I read earlier. Alamak, ni la akibat dah lama sangat tak baca jawi. Merangkak-rangkak.

S Size Robe

It was raining softly outside as if trying not to wake the neighbourhood. The weather was perfect for sleeping in. I was in my blanket when I heard unfamiliar irritating sound so close to my left ear. Then only I realized it was my handphone alarm. God, the weather was perfect and do I have to wake up. Oh yes, I had to collect my convo robe today.. Hmmm, 5 minutes more okay.. I promised I'll wake up. 40 minutes later I awake hastily when I realized my 5 minutes had gone too long. Quickly I took a shower, ate breakfast and arrived in UM 45 minutes late than what I promised Yon.

Surprise, surprise. The line for queueing has extended to the parking lot which roughly around 1-2 km long (am I being exaggerated?). What the? It was only 8 am and the counter open at 9 am. So this is the kiasu Malaysian (so am I). Frantically, I dialled Liya. No answer. Second hope, Nida. No answer. Damn it. Are they planning to abandon me because I'm late. Positive-thinking, Mun.... Last hope, Kak Farah. Yup, she answered and asked me to find Nida and Liya. At first try, I saw them already. With sweet smile (and sugar on top with extra creamy syrup sauce) I said hai, chatting away and put myself in that line. Hehe... I saved myself 1 km of standing.

Finally, at 11 am, I got my robe. That's after 3 hours of standing, one pink panther umbrella with 4 heads to share, hearing all the obscene jokes the girls behind me told each other, some gossiping, updates of everybody life, lots of idea for Nida, finally, I got my robe. My precious S size robe. Pweh... My legs were hurt. This was worse than 3 weeks of standing in the trains with high heeled.

I'm so excited for next week. Can't believe the day is coming so fast now.

3 tired faces of Nida, Liya and Hanie. ( the dark surrounding was the theme for that day.... restless and also death look for those who thinks that they can cut the line)....

Baru balik shopping jubah ke bang? Huhu.....