Two events

Last Friday on May 4th, I turned 24. In this 24 years of living in this world, I still don't know what I want in life. I know what I want but when it's gonna happen and what I do to make happen or more precisely if it's gonna happen is something that I don't know.

I know I want to do master but not in Biomedical Engineering obviously, but something that combine business and engineering. I want to take up course in arts. I love arts and the fact my parents didn't let me take architecture once upon a time ago is not going to decrease my love to arts. I want to study in other country. I don't want to continue study in Malaysia. I want to experience living somewhere else and challenged myself of surviving it there.

On short term plan, I want a studio apartment to live by myself. I don't want to live at others house and treat live a penyemak. I will stay in this company the longest 1 and half year. This is not what I want in life. Waking up in the morning feeling hatred and loathed at my own job and boss. I don't feel any satisfaction or even I don't know what I'm doing in this company. I don't shine coz I don't have the light to shine. After 7 months here, I still couldn't figure out a single thing about drugs.

On the other note, last monday which is May 7th was me and Zainal 5th year anniversary. Five years is quite long time for unmarried couple right. We've been through many stages of our live when we were together.

Five years is a long time to get to know with each other. We know what each other will say after we said something. We know what each othet likes and dislikes. We know each other family and friends.

But I discovered that there's a lot that we don't know about each other. We don't know how each other feel if we said something. We don't know each how each other feel with our actions. We don't know how to react when one person fell sick. We don't know how to put our interest aside when one was in pain. We don't know how to pujuk when one is merajuk. We don't know how to give massage to one's when one is in pain. (but we know how to give one when we know we'll get something after that). We don't know how to keep our promise to each other when something better comes after that. (or maybe we thought that he/she will understand it since we've been together for so long). We don't know that when one's in pain, one's doesn't want anything but a company to stay by one's side through one's pain. We don't know how to tolerate each other different lifestyle status.

Yeah, there's a lot we don't know about each other.

Everybody's hurt somebody before

Everybody's been hurt by somebody before

You can change but you will always come back for more

Its a game and we are all just victims of love.

Don't try to fight it, victims of love

You can't decide it, victims of love, victims of love

-Victims of love by Good Charlotte

Don't go to Bun's SD Accesories Workshop!!!!

I always hate going to the car workshop. Those people there think that because we, women don't know much about car, so we can be cheated easily. So when a friend of mine open his own workshop, I was quite happy coz at least I can trust my friend.

But after 2 times services at his shop, my car suddenly has jammed it's brake. As usual, I called him to tow my car and repaired whatever it need to be repaired. Today, after phone call from him telling that I can take my car, I found out that the total was RM 554! For heaven's sake what the hell he did to my car that I need to pay that amount. Last month I just had a major service to that car and it cost RM500 too. I was bloody mad okay.

Then when I reached there with Zainal, we looked that 'jam' body pump of the brake that cost RM285. I looked at the bill at it said that he repaired the kit too which cost RM95 (later I fpund out from Zainal's friend that supply Proton spare parts that it was cost only RM45). And the labour changes increased to RM65 (last month was RM60 which is quite expensive too).

At that moment, me, someone who hardly get mad to strangers, just couldn't hold my anger. I straight said to his face that why every month I came to this shop, the labour charges keep increasing. Zainal was saying that the repair kit was usually around RM50. When he heard that, he just kept quiet like he knew that he was caught. After some hassling, he 'discounted' to RM500 only. Imagine if I just keep quiet and pay the stated amount? Next time he just increases the labour changes or whatever things again.

I really pissed of with him. I never knew him that well at school because he was the 'budak-budak bermasalah' back then. Yeah, some habit is hard to die isn't it. If you are SMKSJ, you know who I'm talking about.

In the midst of angriness, he offered a membership card to his shop with annual fees of R80. Kepala hotak kau orang nak amik membership tu. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, you think I'm that stupid to let that happen? I will not go to his shop anymore.

I really hate people that asking their friends to come to their shop to 'help' them la, but the end they the one that cheated us straight to our own face. I will never forgive him for that. The worst part was he said something like it was bad luck this thing happened to me coz this problem rarely happen. Yeah, my bad luck la you cheating ass.

If a unknown shop cheat me, I might not that angry okay. Because dah kena pun. But for somewhere that I've come regularly and also someone that I know (I even praised him to my family), that was a big fat tight slap to my face okay.

At eve of my 24th birthday, I was freaking mad and broke another RM500 for the second month.

Good Charlotte weekend

It has been long since I updated this blog. It's always the same reason, nothing to write and I was not feeling very well last week that lead to 2 days of MC. But last Friday I was shocked to received this:

Waaaahhh.... 4 tickets to MTV Live Good Charlotte. I hardly joined any contest and when I join this, I don't expect to win. But... I did. Suddenly all the unwellness just disappeared. That Saturday I was on the best behaviour. Woke up early, eat breakfast and ate my medicine at specific time (which I should do everyday).

That evening went to Bukit Jalil with Zainal, Naqib and his friend. Luckily Naqib met his friends there, so we parted. It was drizzling for a while but thank God it stop after that. Then met Kamil and Jet and Kamil's sis there too. The area was divided into 2. The front stage was reserved for so-called VIP which is DiGi's Fuiyooh customers and the back part was for us the non-DiGi people. This DiGi's Fuiyooh thing really annoying with their constant screaming Fuiyoh at the top of their lung at every 10 minutes.

The show started with 3 local artists which was One Buck Short, Estranged and Lo. Then the real deal started. It was amazing... I knew all of their song. Yes, I was shocled myself. I tried not to scream so much for the sake of my sore throat. So I replaced my screaming mood with jumping up and down and swaying to their song... it was really fun...

It was really fun night for few reasons:
1) The music was great. Good Charlotte was great. Never been their greatest fan but I love their songs
2) Free tickets.
3) Was admitted into the VIP area which is in the front stage before the Good Charlotte performed. Huhu... No need to be DiGi's customer la.
4) Free drinks, thanks to the abang security. At least I won't blackout in the sea of people there.

5) Free goodies from DiGi... apperantly this one DiGi staff was 'berkenan' with me that he tried to give at least something to me...haha... (which pissed Zainal off)

While waiting the show to start...

View that soon will changed with 10 000 people (what the newspaper said la) packed this area.

Joel Madden... (blur picture)... Zainal got a very nice video but malasla nak post kat sini...

How Does Depression Manifest Itself ?

Found this in this site: http://suicidal.com/depressionfaq/q5.html

Loss of Normalcy

Loss of the comfortable, predictable, familiar, secure, self
Loss of drive, direction, power, control
Loss of energy, joy, humor, love, happiness

Replaced With Pain and Negativity

You can't remember what it was ever like to feel normal.

You can't remember a time when you weren't like this.

You feel worthless and that your life has no meaning.

You can't tell anyone how you feel. You hold it in. You try to act normal.

It's painful to be with people. You feel that you don't belong. Everything they say hurts.

If you tell someone, you will cry. You will feel foolish, they wouldn't understand.

They don't care or understand. You feel they can't help you anyway.

You feel that no one and nothing can help you.

You feel "hopelessness to infinity"

Painful just to exist. Everything hurts. Painful to try to do anything, take a walk, fix dinner, wash the dishes, take a bath.

You feel tired. Just standing up you are tired. You feel the pull of Gravity weighing you down.

What's the point of living when you just want to die ? Why bother, why force it ?Who cares
anyway.

You wonder what is going to happen to you. If only you could just close your eyes and disappear.

If only you could just go to sleep and never wake up.

You cry out for help when you are alone. You want to scream, wail, cry out to God or the Universe to help you... or to let you die.

Suicidal Thoughts overwhelm you with excruciating pain, urging, compelling you toward death.

Death calls to you, wordlessly from within darkness, the blackness, pulling you, drawing you in.

You feel like you are dying.

Help your friends if they have this symptoms or they told you something disturbing. A simple gesture might change their life... you never know right.

Pharmaniaga Hats Off Night

How could I forgot to post about one of the biggest event in Pharmaniaga? What else than Pharmaniaga Hats Off Night 2006. Was happening last week at Sheraton Subang. It was okay but the fact that our table was next to the camera and cause us some awkward moment of trying to be civilised and at the same time enjoying our food. However, we did it with flying colours (say me coz I was hidden by my hat, thank God for that). Hehe...

Vince and Misha Omar performed that night. Vince did some funny (or I must say stoopid) imitation of MTV video clips with the camera. Well, thank God, he's still good looking in person, so he was forgiven. Misha was ok la. Food was okay too, typical chinese food.

The best part of that day was we can head home early that day which was 3pm (company give us some time to prepare ourselves for that big night...hehe). And the door gift was unexpected. Everyone got a pair of watch (his & hers) and beatifully packed in smart looking box. Impressive...

Well, what is word without pictures right. Here goes...

Me and lovely Li Vern

The R&D people.. (minus Siew Lei from QA).

Misha & Vince (gambar gelap pasal taknak pergi depan amik gambar. Taknak jadi groupies la konon)

With my ex-classmate kat UM, Jamal, now working for Pharmaniaga Biomed

This is me

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

tarik rambut

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This thing really test my patience....

Busy weekend

I think last weekend was so short. It's like so many things happened that I didn't have enough time for myself (read: sleep, sleep, sleep). Went to MATTA Fair last Friday night with Zainal and thank God, the people there was not THAT full. At least still can breath. We were walking so fast coz we only had 1 hour to see all the booth. Apperently for scuba diving package, the deal was the same even without the fair. At that moment I wish I won some money that I can indulge myself with holidays. I'm not asking so much, 5K would be enough. Hehe....

Then, we went scouting Ritz Carlton coz we had workshop the next day (ehem, ehem, baru ada kelas gi workshop kat Ritz Carlton). But end up stucked in the jam for I don't know many hours. And locating Rotz Carlton was not a piece of cake. Apparently, only those who know it only know that place. Normal people (like me, that don't need a butler to serve personally) would probably couldn't find it. HA..

The next whole day was filled with marketing strategy and delicious-but-tiny Ritz Carlton food. Seriously, the food was delicious. If only they serve more.... (wishful thinking again). That night we watched 300. People, this is one of the best movie this year. Seriously. If you don't like all the gross fighting scene, there's always meaty muscular and oh-what-a-delicious-body Spartan men to ogle with. Hehe...

Lastly, Sunday was the only day to malas-malas. Oh.... can't wait for the next weekend.

Peace

There's no peace in my heart lately.

Just pure unsafisfaction and hatred.

Everything seems very wrong.

I want everything but nothing obtained.

Ya Allah, please give me mercy and grant me some peaceful in my heart. Amiin...

Happy or meaningful?

Last week on Heroes (that episode 18 for those Malaysian that illegally download it), there's one part where Linderman asked Nathan Petrelli (okay, I'm not going to be a spoiler to those who faithfully follow the story at Astro) if he wants a happy life or meaningful life. Coz he said that you can't have both. If you want happy life, you enjoy your present without worrying about the past and future. If you choose meaningful life, you have to worry about your past and future.

Can we have both? Meaningful and happy. I think we can. If you lead a meaningful life, at your deathbed, you know you have life to the fullest and you'll be happy. If you lead a happy life, your life must be meaningful, right. I mean how come you live a happy meaningless life, do you get what I mean.

On the other hand, there are some people who live a meaningful life without being happy, right. He's become someone important in the country and society but at the same time he's too busy to take time and smell the roses. He missed out all the important people in his life. He's life is meaningful; contributing to country, but does he happy? Maybe not.

But I don't think there's people who is happy but has meaningless life. Nobody lead meaningless life except all that Mat Fit la. But then, they're not happy right. They depend on drugs to be happy (or false happy). Even you just a gardener or whatever, you are someone to somebody. You are somebody's father, mother, uncle, auntie, son, daughter, cousin, friend, wife or husband. So your life is meaningful. Every human Allah made is meaningful. But to find who is happy or not is different story.

So, what do you think? Do you think you are happy? I know you have meaningful life.

Hate me

The thing I learned when you are in a relationship is you should be happy if the other half is happy too even though that happiness does not include me. But why it's hard for me to get it into my head and apply that on my daily life is something I don't understand. Am I too selfish? Am I thinking that the world revolves around me?

Many times I have gone over the limit and ignore that important rule. Therefore, I wanted to apologize from the bottom of my heart what have I done last night and also before this.

But I have learned not to run from my problem and I did it. (Pat on back for myself). At that precise moment, I was thinking of packing my stuff and just walk out of that door. But I kept thinking that if I started doing it today, in future I might repeat it. Then I'll be the wife who run to her parents house because of some stupid argument. And I'll be sending my kids away coz I can't cope with them. No, I'm not going to be like that. I'll be hanging there even it's rip my heart out. I'll face the problem even though I don't know how to solve it. If I failed, at least I can say I've tried.

It was harder to do it than saying it. How you control every bit of your sanity and patience when the other person was totally ignoring even when you are next to them. How inside of you was planning every destructive plan that possible in that particular room but outside you were acting cool. This is not even considering that the other half of your brain was cursing you coz causing this misery. And one point, when all the anger turn to depression, all you want to do is to hurt yourself in return.

Hmm...I'm kinda hate myself right now.

Uncertainty of future

Have you ever want something badly that you patiently work hard and pray that finally archieved that? Then after achieving that, you feel that it's the best thing ever happen, even though there's some cons but overall it's bearable. After that you think that you need to move on to the next step and ready to fully embrace the choice. Suddenly you started to think.

Is it the right choice?
Should I wait maybe a little bit longer then something better come?
What if this IS the best and coz I ditched it, I'll lose it forever?
What if I move on with this, and suddenly better one arrive and I have to let the better one go coz I already commit to the first one?

The uncertainty of future is scary...
Sometimes I wish I can just relax and be happy with what I have right now.
Sometimes I wish I can work harder to get more money coz I want to try many new experience that needs money... like scuba diving, water rafting, absailing at waterfalls....

Ok, breathe in mun... and breathe out....
I'm trying to stop worrying stuff in the future. And trying to stop pressuring myself to please everybody and stop worrying about comparing myself with others. Yes, I'm very competitive. and it's tiring.

I know today at work that

I hate the smell of pine oil. It smells like minyak angin cap kapak but 10 times worst.

I know that by the third experiment using pine oil, I got migraine.

...because of that migraine, I know where is first aid room.

I know that after 10 minutes of searching Synflex at first aid room, Kak ZK think that it might be stolen.

....and Synflex is my only hope to reduce my migraine.

Good news is that my boss keep a stock of it too.

Bad news is that he needs that too for his migraine.

I also know that I'm going to be transferred to another department.

Good news that it's not confirmed yet.

Bad news is that if it's confirmed, I'm gonna miss working in R&D and miss a lots of parties.

I also know that I don't know what to write when I got my migraine.

.....even though I have a whole complete script in my head when I'm not suffering it.

Wishful thinking

What do you think of marrying at early age? Not an option right. A lot of people say you must be stable first than only you can think about getting married... bla..bla...bla..

Imagine this, when you married at an early age when you are a nobody in this world and together both of you struggle and work hard until you are an important person in the society. Would the taste of success would become sweeter? Together both of you trying to make ends to survive, starting online business to get extra money and rent a room coz can't afford a house. Then together both of you rise, gain more money and reputation... and finally, 50 years ahead, when both of you sitting side by side beside the pool with backgroud of posh mansion own by you on top of the hill overlook the city while you rest your head on his shoulder... you can say, "Remember honey when we were young, we were struggling to live but together we as a team, we finally made it." Then you can say that you have found your soulmate and at that moment, if God say that it's time for you to go, you won't be afraid coz you know that both of you can meet again in heaven perhaps...InsyaAllah. Or when he tell you that he's getting new wife when both of you already succeed, you can tell him (or reminisce the old stories to make him realize how both of you has struggle together and how he would ruin the perfect team if another member join in. He might at least would think twice if not cancel the plan. This actually works according to a friend of mine. Hehe).

But what if both of you already stable and successful when you get married, then you will think that you can live without him. You don't need each other to live. Marriage was like to fulfill you sexual needs, society expection and bore some children. He came when you are successful and might leave you when you become useless. When he took another wife or berpoya-poya with other girls, he would say that that's his money, he can do anything he want with it. You have no right in his property. On the bright side, at least when you divorce, there's no harta sepencarian. It's either his or hers.

So.... the conclusion of all this wishful thinking is that.... well, malu la nak cakap. Nevermind la... no conclusion. Oh yes, at least you will prevent more sins right.

Talk about wedding, congratulations to Yon who get married last Sunday... Semoga bahagia sehingga akhir hayat (not only until anak cucu ok...)

**Still can't stop grinning**

To the couple out there, Happy Lover's Day... No matter how hard you try to ignore that day, you can't. The celebration has become too commercialized by business people.

So we did opposite other people do. Instead of having lavish dinner at some posh restaurant that need to be reserved 3 days before which come with pricey tag, we cooked at home. That's something that we never did together. The whole point of valentine is to be together. So we bought all our preparation together and cooked together. That way, it's more economical and less stress (think of jam, parking space and slow waiter)

That was one wonderful night. Having dinner beside our 4 little fish, eating the food we prepared ourselves with candles (a must!), sparkling grape juice and together with your loved one.... what a girl can ask more?

But I felt bad for not giving him anything except secret recipe's cheese cake without writing my heart out. He gave me this beautiful card with oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-cair kind of message which written by him.

Well sayang, Thank you for wonderful 4 years and 9 months.... (the continual of the message will be private & confidential)

Well, people out there, jangan la jealous.... (grinning from ear to ear)

I see my bed today

I had terrible morning today, physically. Last night I played 2 rounds of badminton with Zainal and gang after few months of not exercising. As the result, my arms and legs ached. The worst part was the blister at my index finger of my right hand. This is the result of wrong handling of the badminton racket. I don't know why I hold the racket like that. It was the way I always do ever since I started playing badminton. Back then, I played quite often, so the skin can handle it but after how many years of not playing, even after 15 minutes of playing badminton, the skin at that area started to peel. It hurts.... isk isk isk.

For some reason I don't know my tongue also hurt. I couldn't remember if I accidentally bit it yesterday or if it's an ulcer. I hardly get any ulcer in my life compared to some people who will get one if they're stressed. My body works react differently if I'm stress. Not that I going to discuss it here.

In addition to all this problem, I have runny nose. I usually get this when I take cold shower in the morning. If it warm shower, then this problem won't happen. But since I moved to Kajang, I thought this problem was over coz even after cold shower, I didn't get runny nose. But these few weeks, I started had this problem again. Haih... It feel so uncomfortable. If this happened until afternoon, my eyes will look droopy which is so not attractive okay...

Well, I think I need to exercise more so that next time my body can become healthier, stronger and ready for any challenge (wow, very ambitious statement. Hehe...)

The tortoise crawling down the street...

Have you ever in the situation that everything around you become slow when you need to go fast? I mean, you need to get to another place in 1 hour and between that 1 hour you need to eat your dinner, change your clothes etc. And that moment too, the nasi lemak seller was packing the nasi lemak in the slowest mode he could do. And you were not the only customer there. In front of you there were 7 hungry people waiting patiently for that turtle to pack their nasi lemak. At that moment you felt that if this is lawless country, you'll be strangle him. Huh.

Then you go to the place that you need to go and found that you were already late and have to postpone your plan to tomorrow. Since you have nothing to do, you went shopping. But you realized that you have no money. Fret not, ATM just nearby and there's only 1 customer in front of you. You stand behind him smilling face waiting for your turn. Then you realized that the person in front of you are reading (more like spelling, I guess) every words at the screen before slowly push the button. Finally after few minutes, he finished withdrawing his money. But wait, he's pulling out another card. And another... Thank God he has only 3 ATM cards... Cik abang, tak cukup lagi tu... Credit card tak nak cuba? MyKad pulak ke?

Walking happily with money now, you decided to buy some food. After walking around the supermarket, you only can find 1 food that you actually want to buy (food that you WANT to eat not buy would be a lot la kan). You queuing in the express lane where 8 items or less were allowed. But then a person in front of you have a trolley full of things which was so obvious more than 8 items la. When came his turn, dengan muka selamba dia keluarkan barang dia. The cashier refused to accept and hooray to you, he cut down half of his item. Hahaahahahahaah. Padan muka...

So what would you do if this day happen to you? All I can said is, patience is the key.

My camera

Finally I got this....Not the manual book only, it comes with camera of course. Huhu...

Supposed to be secret from my parents, but just now my dad just found out because Naqib was sesuka hati took the picture of this..

For you info, this is the view from the verandah of my house.

And I can do this...

Welcome to my crib!!

These 3 days were full with crazy pictures like these:

Naqib rase dier nampak kurus dalam gambar ni. Ye ke? Ape-ape je la...

Flora Fest and 2 goldfishes

Last weekend Zainal and I went to Flora Fest 2007 at Putrajaya. The parade was at 8am but we purposely missed it coz we just want to see the floating car. Actually it's not 'we', it was more like 'me'. At 2.30pm at Putrajaya, it was not agood idea to be outdoor. But by doing my usual pleaaassee... big eyes and alah, kita tengok kejap je, we finally inside the big air-con tent. Thank God for the air-con. Here's some pictures. Oh yes, we met Mai and Wira. And because of the unplanned visit, I didn't have camera with me and used only my 2.0 mp phone camera. Hmmm... the pictures were not so nice la. Anyway, here goes my fav.
Sabah was the best one I think. Kedah was so serabut and Perlis was the smallest. Others were so-so.

Alamak. Gambar dengan Mai tak clear la. The last time I saw her was on our convo day (ye ke? or at her sister's engagement? Lupa lak). How time flies...

Oh yes, we bought another 2 fishes; 2 goldfishes named Borat and Buran, at the Flora Fest. I know it's supposed to be where you buy flowers but we can't resist to be these 2 beautiful creature. Now we have Borat, Buran, Cumi, Ciki and Ciko. Cikang died 3 days ago.Borat and Buran think they are next DBKL fish. But at a positive side, they actually clean up the aquarium.

Finally I have pets again. My life felt missing if I don't have an animal to be take care of. (But this one Zainal will take care of them).
And I love watching them swimming around.
I felt peace and calm.

Monday Blues

Something funny happened this morning. One guy fell asleep while waiting the traffic lights turned green. At first I was wondering why he hasn't moved. Then when I drove pass him, I saw he was sleeping. Must be very tiring watching Arsenal beat Man Utd. Hehe.. Pity that fellow. All the cars and lorries behind him kept honking when he's happily dreaming in La-la Land. I don't know if he ever wake up. Thank God I'm not in that lane. If yes, it won't be a funny story anymore. Huhu.

I can't sleep last night, so I made a promise to myself. I promised myself not to mention the M-word to anybody from today onwards. What going to happen will happen. For now, I would enjoy and appreciate life as it is. Nothing I can change though.

And yes, we are thinking of opening a business. Hmmm.... must prepare the business plan first, then we can start it by February? InsyaAllah. Any ideas for a company name?

Oh, we got ourself 4 pairs of fish last Saturday. Cute, colourful and small fish. We promised to take care our little pets together. So he brought them home first. By this morning, 2 fishes already died. Natural causes or human error? Hehe... Just hope I still can take care of them by the end of this week.

Desperately in Love

All I want is to be with him. Is that one fact that too hard to swallow? I need to be with him everyday. Being with him complete my day. It's not that I can't live without him; I can, but my day wouldn't be so satisfying.

It's like eating rice. You don't die if you don't eat rice. You still can eat bread, mee or anything else. But after a week or so, you crazed for rice. Eating rice make your whole meal complete.

Same here. He's not my life machine support. I still can breath, still can eat, still can go to work but the air would feel so damp, the food don't taste that good and works stress me out.

So why you need hundreds of reason to be together. One reason is sufficient enough for me. I don't need colourful resume to be king of my heart. I'm not a multinational seeking employees. I just want to be with someone whom I love and love me back.

How I wish life would be that simple. Then I would be one happy woman.

Reason to buy

Marriage is not something that can be done easily. It's not only unite 2 people, but also 2 families. It also become the base of the birth of future souls. Therefore, a suitable partner and family should be choosed. I remember my uncle used to tell me that you are not marrying one person only but the whole family as well. So marrying in the 30-minutes Las Vegas chapel or Siam does not an option for me (even though I always think about doing that lately... in Siam of course. Daripada pergi Las Vegas, baik kahwin elok-elok kat sini, lagi murah..Hah).

So marriage might not so imminent for me (at this hours at least). This is because both families seem like they still wouldn't let go their only daughter and their last son. However, this is not what my friends think... check this out. A poll for who's going to get married soon (after Yon obviously). I won! I won!!! I love winning!!!
Since I have no plan when I'm going to get married, so why deprived myself from buying stuff that I really want? Why should I save money for something that I don't know when it's going to happen? Maybe next month, next year or maybe next 10 years? Who knows????

Therefore, I'm going to add my gadgets collection with this sleek Kodak V705 digital camera. With 7.2 mega pixels, dual lens and others fantastic features, I'm going to get it when the next paycheck in. I'm so not patient to wait for this new camera.

No mood

For one thing, I felt like going home. It just that I don't have any mood to do any job. Yes, I admit. That time of the month again. Hehe... Get easily irritated with everything. Haih.

Tried to call someone for a lunch date but no answer. I tried to be positive and hope that he's sleeping. That's the one valid reason I will accept. Haha...

Beginning of the year means new calender. Suppliers send a lot of calender, planner and diary. I got one calender and one diary. Enough for me. But I already wrote something on that calender and then my boss give me another calender that I like. At least no pictures of pharma products... Bosan ok. But, trying not to be greedy here, I gave to someone else. At one time people will lelong diaries and calender. Who want this, who want that.

Well, the first person who received diaries has a previlege of chossing the best diary. People will come to her table and said, Eh, what a nice planner. Got another one? Huhu... sorry, the early bird gets the worm.

Arghhh... I want to go home and sleep. I want to sleep in his cuddle.....

2006 highlights

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidil Adha and the day after tomorrow is New Year's Day. So Selamat Hari Raya and Happy New Year!!!

Since 2006 will end in less than 26 hours, I would like to take this opportunity to highlight the events that occurred in 2006 for me. Let see...

1. I finally graduated from my tertiary level of education. And that's mean, I already left the school for 6 years... wow.
2. Went to various job interview (yes, various kind of jobs)
   
3. I get my first job and left it after 3 weeks...
4. I get my second job and still holding on...
5. Went to various exams (PTD- twice & fail, TOEFL, GRE)
6. First time celebrated my birthday with my friends in UM, yes, after 4 years... well, better late than never kan.
7. Gain weight, after 9 years of stagnant weight. (ho ho, be careful what you wish. Skrang bermasalah la plak nak maintain weight. Dulu susah sangat nak naikkan weight).
8. Improve my relationship with Zainal.
9. Latest addition: only few days ago, my parents finally let me staying at a rented house in Bangi. Finally, no more 45 minutes of driving to work + everyday overspeed (have to ok, if not I'll be late).
10. Continous harmonious relationship in the family... which is the greatest gift of all time.
11. Oh yes, I got a new niece... Adriana si comel dan garang.

Well.... hopefully 2007 brings more happiness in me... like abah's promise & a wedding bell perhaps? Anyway, let's hope the best for everyone.

C*I*N*T*A

I know this is old news and a lot of bloggers have been writing about this movie. But I love this movie. Cinta show that the new era of Malaysian film has come and the audiance will not feed with Yusof Haslam & Razak Mohideen movie only. No offence to them, but I think that their movies are not worth my 2 hours and 10 bucks to see them.

I watched this movie twice. New record for me. For someone who hardly (I can count with 1 hand) watched Malay movie, this is something big ok. The first one was with my girlfriends 3 days after opening and the second one with my boyfriend just last week. I never thought that it would be that good. What do you axpect from a film that advertised in the radio with an abstract like this: " Majalah ni tak boleh jual." " Ia boleh jual kalau diletakkan di sini." Ape ni? So I was following my girls' idea of watching it. At the end, I was the one who cried a bucket. Sampai lebam mata tu. But it's not fair coz the others were trying to make sure they didn't ruin their make up. But I just couldn't hold my tears, boleh kena migrain you know. Thank God I didn't wear mascara that day or people will mistake me for WWF panda.

The movie showed different kinds of love. It showed that love is universal. It can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any stage of life. Initially I thought it would turn out to be like Love Actually but I think this is better. Maybe the idea was not so original, but how the director connected all 5 stories was brilliant. The cinematography was fantastic. Even Kampung Abdullah Hukum looked beautiful in that story and it showed many faces of Kuala Lumpur.

I'm so into this movie until Zainal download the whole soundtrack album for me. I love all the songs especially Without You by Same Same & Jac. Sampai 2-3 kali la repeat tu. Ntah ape2 la plak bila fikir balik. Hehe.

Well, those who hasn't watch it, please go and watch it with your love ones. It's worth it. Like Ashlee Simpson said, "L O L O V E".

I want to run away

Have you ever thought of running away without telling anyone for awhile? Maybe a week or two.
Just to clear your head and escape from your problems.
Just to escape from everybody's rules and give yourself a freedom that you always wanted.

I wish I had the guts to do that. Really. I wish...

But then, this face popped out in my head...

On second thought, maybe I should bring him too.
Coz he makes my day worth living and take away all my pains.
He's the only one who actually listen to what I say and what I feel.
I need him.

I had a nightmare .... and you were in it

I dreamed that you left me last night. You left me for my friend that just come back from UK. You ignore me totally and was with her all the time. I was fine the first 3 days but the fourth day, I was livid. I was hoping you came back to me. But after waiting, I realized you weren't coming back. I asked you for the reasons but you just ignored me. You made me looked like a fool. I was begging you to at least tell me the reasons so that I understand my mistake. After few days you finally spoke up. I wish I never asked that question. You told me that you never love me anyway. You said I was selfish, ignorant and act like I was too good to be true. It just broke my heart completely. You said that she's the one you love. I remembered your face and how you said it. It was so cruel. It felt like you have no regret about this whole thing.

I woke up and I cried. I immediately took wudhu' and performed solat. I pray that this will not going to happen. I know how hard it is coz I've experinced once. I don't want to feel that feeling again. I pray that our relationship will stay strong until the end of our life with love and happiness surround us.

I've been dreaming weird stuff lately. I must wash my feet really hard and double my doa sebelum tidur this times.

Destress

One fine evening at one delicious open house, Suraya asked me how I destressed or chilled out after working. She asked me how the working life and how I spend my day? She's going to start working next month and trying to imagine working life. Well, it was tough questions I might say.

First of all, I just worked for like what, 1 and the half month. And the 1 month before this can be considered too. Working at previous job before lead me to very stressful life. I didn't like the job, I didn't like the journey and I ended up MCs all the time. (Not all the time la, but considering the 1 month timeframe, it was a lot ok. I easily stressed out and popping my migrain pills more than ever.

Now, at this current work, with the same duration with previous job, I found myself enjoying whatever I did. Even though I have to drive 45 minutes each way, I filled my journey with the music, thanks to Hitz.fm and Fly fm. Sometimes (more like always) I would dropped by at the well, my haven, to meet my sweetheart to destress myself. Well, the only stress I got right now is the angry phone calls from my mom for coming back late. Hehe.

Sometimes I wish I can stay nearer to Bangi so that I can wake up a lit bit late without having to drive like mad woman to compensate the extra sleep time just to be on time at work. Yeah, I wish mom would approved her lil and only (now, a grown up) daughter to live by her own and learn to be independent.

My weekends is reserved for my loves one (family, lover and friends - even though it seems like more towards the lover). And I do realize that weekend always pass me by with a blink of eyes. Without you realize, it's Monday again.

So Suraya, how I destress my life? I sleep and sleep and sleep. (Caution: sweet food can make you fat. So when stress, don't eat, sleep).

Freedom of being me

There's something in my life that always bug me. The ability for me to live my life independently without having other people control it. No matter how hard I try to do this, there's always somebody who try to control me. Even though I already eliminated one person, another person would eventually turn to be my control freak.

In return, I missed out all the money-can't-buy experience like camping in schooling years, duduk rumah sewa, field trips and so much more.

When I reflected my life, in a way I can conclude that even though people give you money to make you happy, they can't give you satisfaction, experience, freedom and self-esteem. They make themselves loved by their money, not their virtue and own self. Sad eh.

I wish I can turn back time and do all the things I miss. But it's impossible. All I can do right now, change my life and gain back my freedom. Try to do things that I missed out. Like camping.

But first of all, how am I going to convince them to give me my freedom to optimize my life?

Get well soon

How do you feel when your other half is sick and alone right now and you are 30 minutes away from him and can't do anything about him except giving a lot of bullshit advices on how to get well (and you know that it won't work because you are not a doctor ok). I felt like a poo. How I wish I am by his side right now nursing and just be there for him. Hmmm... hold on darling. Hopefully I can escape tomorrow's makan-makan to be with you.

When stuff like this happen, you started to think nonsense. What if that happened questions started popping in your brain. As a result, you keep calling him just to make sure he's all right when the truth is you making him sicker as he cannot rest properly without being disturbed by you. So what should I do? What's the correct action should be taken?

Capturing Raya

I would like to wish everybody a Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1427H. Maaf zahir dan batin. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau ade yang secara tak sengaja atau sengaja menulisnye kat sini.

Well, hope everybody has a wonderful raya yesterday. I know I had a wonderful time yesterday. Minus the cold and constant sneezing. Yang penting gambar raya masih cantik.

Let's the picture do the talking... We were at my atuk's house in Muar.

2 boring stories

It's almost 2 weeks I didn't update this blog. Not that nothing happened. It just that I didn't want it to be a single post for every story coz it would make me look like a loser with the capital L.

The first one was my pre-employment medical check up. Trying to work at phamaceutical company has it's price. They are very concern about your health especially if you have contagious disease. So in the letter to the hospital, they requested that I should be checked on stuff like skin diseases, TB and irritable bowel syndrome. So after taking a syringe of blood and urine sample, they wanted my stool sample. Obviously I couldn't give them at that moment so I have to take back the bottle and would sent it later. But my body refused to give me the sample, so I end up returning to the hospital with the sample after 3 days. Ha, good luck to the lab technicians.

Secondly, last weekend I had my buka puase with the Subang friends but end up very angry after that. The reason: The restaurant didn't refill the buffet table when the food had finished (even before azan. Can you imagine?). And we end up eating rice with vegetables only. And yet we have to pay the full price of that buffet. I warned you people, this restaurant "Restoran Ani Sup Utara" at Shah Alam would do this to you. Don't easily attracted to the lucky draw stuff... focus on your food. No point if you can join the lucky draw but no food to eat. Not going to that restaurant again. Unless I win the lucky draw... hehe.

So there you go. Nothing interesting happened in my life right now. I'm just waiting for the good news this Friday. So, I will update on the good news. Please pray for me kay. Thanx.

Ps: This is a very boring post. Even me feeling sleepy half way through.

Friends are precious

My favourite picture of all... maybe becoz I look tall kot. hehe

Dear friends,

First of all, I would like to extend my gratitude for your support and concern this past few days. Sorry for being one angry woman and thanks for calming me down. I never really actually express my negative emotions to you guys before... so when times like this I don't know how to express it properly and end up like this.

I'm so touched that you guys really really care about me, I never thought you guys did. I definitely was so wrong. So glad we did this coz at the end it's worth it. Your smiles remind me all the good memories in UM. Something that can't never be replaced.

Then,
Leen: Thanks for listening to my complaints... your fast responds and your everyday post in circles made my job easier...

Mai: Like leen, thanks for fast responds even though you're in south... and your call last night, really really made my day. Even though I only received voice messages after that, but hearing your sisterly advice was nice.

Liya: Thanks for coming my house to pick it personally and really like that poster. It felt worth it when people love that stuff.

Nida: Thanks for your concern and ideas... some that I cannot change, sorry but I replace something nice... and I don't think I can be in your shoes when organizing stuff like this. You are a lagend.

Last but not least.... Zainal who listening to my endless whining in the wee hour and actually came out with one brilliant idea to replace that frame. Haih.. asal tak boleh terfikir bende tu.

Oh yes, Mr Ted.. Jangan menyesal lepas ni ye.... Thank you very very much.

Now, I officially announced that this project is finished and succed. (sekarang tunggu apa kata korang lepas tengok the real thing.)

I'm angry

Have you ever volunteered to do stuff (this is not including charity) and at the end of the day you regret that you actually volunteered it?

You thought this would end fast and without messy sequences. You realized that you wasted an awful lots of time, money and patience...

Geez, at this point, my patience toward this darn poster is as thin as ice on the lake in spring time. Any provocation from anybody from that butch of people will lead to the eruption of my wrath and I can end up doing something stupid.

I just can't take anymore. IKEA is out of stock of that stupid fragile frame? Are you kidding me? The fact that I have to pay one extra + my time going there + my petrol + traffic jam, now I have to go there again 2 weeks time?

I just had enough of this.

At this moment, all I want to do is to break every frame that I had with me so that nobody gets it. Ha... dah la I still have to pay same amount like everyone yang tak perlu bersusah payah ke hulu hilir pasal bende ni. Tak masuk lg bilangan SMS yang kena hantar kat semua orang everytime I need to make a decision, to remind them and to force them. Bengangnye..... Dah la sekarang tgh broke giler.... Every cent counts u know.

The unfortunate events of a photographer and his assistant

Once upon a time in a far far away, there were 6 young women who just graduated and wanted to have their memoriable day captured by professional photographer. Instead of going to studio like everyone else, they came out with this wonderful idea of asking the photographer to come to their university and shot them in background of the university's landmarks. Mr Ted came into the picture and after half day posing in heavy robe under blazing sun, few hundreds of picture were snapped.

A week or so after that, they received the soft copy of their pictures from Mr Ted. Then Mr Ted suggested a fantastic idea of doing a collage of their picture into one huge poster. Everybody agreed and at that point Mun was elected as their representative to deal with Mr Ted. Little they knew that this idea will lead them into one hell month.

First job was to find a perfect frame size for the poster. After browsing IKEA catalogue for hundredth time, Mun couldn't find the size of Mr Ted's ideal poster. So, with few other options, Mun asked opinion from other 5 persons to decided which one sould they choose. But asking for their opinion was a challenge as only 2 persons actually responded to her request in the forum. It was funny since most of them a internet junkie yet they just couldn't be online at this critical hours.

After decided about it, Mun draged her mom to IKEA on one fine afternoon. They never realized that particular day was second last day of IKEA yearly sale. As you can imagine, the crowd there was unbearable. It was unnecassary sale for Mun as she discovered that their frame was not on sale. And she found the perfect size that Mr Ted dreamed about. So all the long discussion with the girls was a waste. Happily she bought 12 pieces for 6 of them and give Mr Ted for further works.

Two three days later, Mr Ted send a poster design to Mun. She posted it at the forum and everybody agreed that they didn't like it (when it comes to mengutuk, everyone respond so fast la). Then Mr Ted did another one and this time, they really like it. Mind you, to get this agreement, it tooks one whole week. So Mr Ted asked for final words if they really like it and take it as their design. After another 4 days, everybody agreed but little they knew that Mun already said yes to Mr Ted 2 days earlier. Suddenly came up one smartpant who suggest to change this and that and Mun has to dismiss her as the final decision was made.

Now, come the hardest part. Do they really want to buy it after hearing the printing price? The price was high enough to make people think about it 4 times. Mr Ted was kind enough to give the printing cost only without designing charges. With pressure from Mr Ted to finish up the job as quickly as he can and the late respond from other girls, Mun was stucked in the middle of decision problems. When one by one finally replied their decision, it was too late for Mr Ted to continue the job as he would leave for paternity leaves for 1 week.

Then Mun discovered that one of the girl didn't want the poster coz it was too big according to her. Excuse me? Mun already bought 12 frames. And who the hell gonna pay her another 2 remainder? After some words exchanged, she agreed to buy the frames only. Sometimes Mun wonder why some people who has fixed income, single and stayed in 3-bedroom-with-8-occupants-apartment would be so stingy enough to spend for this just one time memoriable poster. But then again who are we so say about them.

At the meantime while waiting for Mr Ted to come back from his leaves, Mun collected the payment from other 4 girls. It was not easy task mind you.

When Mr Ted came from his leaves, bad luck started to fall on him. First stop was to discovered that 2 frames was broke. To add the salt to the injury, one piece of the shattered glass hit his knee leaving him bleeding, a hole in his skin and one funny walking gait. The next day, he found out that another 1 frame broke. Then he realized that he accidently print 2 same poster and didn't print another one. Since it was his fault, he has to bear all the cost. Finally 1 day before passing the frames and posters to Mun, another frame broke. In all, he has to pay 4 broken frames (and 1 extra poster).

He rang Mun to take the frames and posters in one horrible Friday evening. That evening too, Mr Ted has a bus to catch to go back to his hometown. Mun was stucked in the traffic jam for 45 minutes before realized it was too late to meet Mr Ted coz Mr Ted would miss his bus so she just u-turn and stucked in the jam again. Later she found out that Mr Ted missed his bus anyway and he had to drive all the way.

So the meeting was resceduled to next Tuesday. After paying him the printing cost and putting all the frames in Mun car, she set a journey to meet her sweetheart. It was one hell of driving experience. Every pothole, bump and anything higher that the road gave a knot in her stomach. All the way she prayed that all the frames would be in one piece when she arrived. Eventually her prayer was not answered and 1 frame broke when she arrived at the destination.

To prevent any further damage, her boyfriend has to sacrifuce his blanket to wrap the frame one by one so that it won't broke on the journey back to her house. It was a very wise choice indeed as all the frame was safe.

Then came the storage problem. How to make sure that the frame is not broken again? Thank God for Mun's box fetish, she managed to find a suitable box to keep the frames.

The conclusion, 5 frames was broke and so does 2 other pockets. And the girl who didn't want the poster didn't have to buy the frames in the end.

Morale of the story: Why does some ideas remain ideas? Coz people know it's crazy.

Ramadhan is here again

Today is the 3rd day of Ramadhan... almost cannot fast on the first day because my red friend visited me few days before. Nasib baik dier balik the night before 1st Ramadhan. Boleh la puasa. I really cannot afford losing fasting day. Coz I have XX days pending for replacement from last year and last last year.

One of my weakness, replacing fast. Every year I have to pay fidyah, which is not bad since a lot of unfortunate people get the advantages of my weakness. Haih.

My friends' favourite question to me before Ramadhan: Dah abis ganti puasa?
Me: *Smile sheepishly* Belum
My friends: Berapa hari lagi?
Me: *Smile sheepishly again* XX days (notice: XX days not X days)
Them: *Mouth opened performing perfect O like hungry goldfish*

Every year I want to start replacing fast early but I never did. This year I promise myself to start early, no more last minute. Is it possible to puasa penuh this year?

Neway, selamat berpuasa, berbuka, bersahur & bertarawikh... Selamat menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubharak

The friend that never was

Have you ever had a friend that everyone thought that both of you are best friends but deep down inside you really hate her to bits. Yes I do. I thought she was my close friend too but after 2 years, I realized that she used me, a lot. When you care for someone, you will do stuff for them willingly but in this case I realized I was used and she didn't care about me at all. Yes, in front of people she would said "Don't hurt mun, she's my best friend." But nobody knows that she didn't even respect me at all.

I don't know why suddenly I'm very pissed off at her tonight. It just that all the things she did to me kept flashing in my head.

I remember one time, when I just acknowledge her as one of my close friend, she laughed and mocked at me when I told her my problem. WTF? I felt ridiculed and at the same time ashamed that how she could play with my feeling. From that day onwards, I realized she was never my friend. Friend never judged and ridiculed you. They listen, care and support you.

I remember one time she has promised me to go to some festival together. So I was rushing from home to pick her up. Yes, I admitted it was a bit late coz it was raining and as you know raining in KL means traffic jam. On the way to pick her up, she send me a message saying that she didn't want to go coz she didn't feel like to. I called her immediately but she never answered. I went to her room, knocking at her door like poor beggar but she didn't open the door. I saw the light and fan was on so you know what it means. The next day she didn't even apologize and acted as if nothing happened. I was so pissed off, I didn't talk to her at all all week even though I sat next to her in class. Surprise surprise. The week after that incident she asked me to pick her before I went to test centre. WTH.. Now you know why I said she used me.

I hate it when she self proclaimed that she was my best friend and she knew me. She never even call me. She missed call me and hoping I call back. In your dream bitch. When she send text messages, it always about something she needs from me. Never message of asking me how am I doing or something like that. I remember she said that I got more money so I should call her. Hello!! How about that she called her boyfriend 2-3 times a day and all I can hear what she talked about was "Abang....yayang rindu abang la....". Wueksss... *vomit*. So you have credit to call your boyfriend, but you don't have it to call your 'best friend'. I don't need her to call me and talked for 1 hour. Sometimes when there were important things, please call me and inform me. She never did.

At one raya, she asked me not to do open house until she came back from her Borneo home. Okay, I scheduled my open house so that she can come. Guess what? She never did. She went dating with her boyfriend. Sometimes you wondered where this friendship goes right?

I know she always used me coz I have transportation. But do she ever paid for anything. I don't mind if it's short distance journey. I sometimes tumpang my friend's car. But she never ever offered to pay for petrol in this 4 years of friendship. I remeber 1 time I asked her for toll money and she showed me a 50 ringgit note. WTH. It's only rm1 and she said she has no change. And as you can guess of course la I don't take the money. Sometimes, I don't need the money for my petrol but I hope that she at least offered to pay or even help me filling the petrol. She just sat in the car and acted like I'm her driver.

She almost made me broke up with my boyfriend. She compared him with her boyfriend. It's not fair coz hers staying like 5 minutes from here and mine was like 45 minutes from here. So when her boyfriend has to move to Klang, I laughed at her face. And I felt so good of doing it. And she did it (trying to break us) again in my final year. She talked me out of the relationship by supporting me to have affair with my lecturer. Please la... My love is stronger than that ok.

Now, my few friends complaining about her to me that she being selfish and sometimes doesn't care about people's feeling. I just smiled coz I've been through that earlier than them. I even had to live with her for 2 years.

I always hate the way she tought that she was the important people in the gang. At one time, we all went to a play except her (coz she didn't want to). It was a wonderful play and we talked about it all the time and how we had a blast time. Suddenly she exclaimed that we're happy when she's not that there. Well, of course, I shouted in my heart la. But verbally I said that it's her choice not coming with us, so don't blaimed us. What she think of herself? She think if she wasn't there, we will feel bored and had no fun?

I'm so glad that she didn't make to the photo shot we had as our last project. Another of her stupid excuses. I'm happy that at least when I looked at my convo pictures, I only see my true friends.... the one that care about me. The one that I will always remember and miss.

Footnote: she might read this (or not!). I know she read my blog. But do I look that I care? Hell no.

You are my sleeping pills

When I'm with you
The world seems to be a calmer place
I feel loved and I'm not afraid
You let me know that
You'll be by my side
no matter what comes through
Baby, you're my sleeping pills.

When I'm with you
I'm in my deepest sleep
There's nothing that shake me
and keep me awake
Baby, you're my sleeping pills.

Baby, I've got you
To share the day and night
I just need you and I'll be okay (trust me)
Baby, you're my sleeping pills
and I'm in the sweetest dreams.

If I have a punk emo rock band, this gonna be one of my hit singles. Haha (perasan).
Dedicated to my u-know-who-u-r.

Waiting for a call

It is universally known that when a man said he'll call you back, most probably he will not. If the statement is wrong, I wouldn't staying up till 3 am writing this entry.

Just out of curiosity, why he, at the first place, has to say that? At least has a heart, give a SMS saying he can't or whatever. At least I can proceed to my beauty sleep. Sigh.

cobaan

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Athirah + Adriana in action

Trying to capture the perfect picture of my nieces. But I guess it was not that easy. Better to capture their perfect moment of togetherness...

I really am scared today

I went to Pameran Hantu, Jin, Keranda dan ... at Shah Alam today. I was excited for a long time about it that I have it reminded at my phone everyday. But yesterday Zainal told me that there's 3-4 bomohs will sit at the exit door to 'scan' anything that follow us. Uh-uh... Tak nak pergi la. My dad yang excited nak pergi tu pun tetiba tak jadik pergi. My mom siap ajar ayat yang perlu dibaca 7 times or 14 or 21 or just read that all the way la. Anyway, I went there with Zainal.

When we arrived there, a poster written said that the exhibition will end on 15th September. Eh? I thought 4th October? Whateva. Since it's tuesday and not a school holiday, it's empty. Thank God there's a family of three in front of us.

Awal-awal, biasela penerangan about jin bla bla... We roughly read and walked away. Suddenly we realized that we were the only 2 people there. Then Zainal said why don't we wait for that family. Okay.... so pretending to look at the surrounding which was not much. Kata baru masuk memang la takde ape2 kat situ lagi.

After the family walked pass us, we came to a very dark place. I meant it, it's very dark. I actually almost trip over that small boy. Then I heard a voice (don't worry, it's just the worker there).

"Sape nak tengok hantu pocong datang sini."

And that uncle switched on the torchlight on his handphone. Hello uncle, why the hell you did that? You will made the 'thing' angry okay. I was gripping hard on Zainal's hand.

"Tak nampak pun. Jom gi tempat lain," I pleaded.

"Tengok jap je. Tak semua orang nampak pun," answered him calmly.

Hopefully it wasn't me. By that time, I was reciting Ayat Kursi repeatedly.

Then I heard someone said, "Tak nampak pun. Ape kau baca ni?"

Sorry guys, I was me.

So we went away. There's jenglot, toyol (which is still alive and they feed him milk every night-according to one pakcik there) and many more which I don't want to remember since I wrote this at midnight and I'm alone right now and yes, I'm also a bit coward in this area. At this point Zainal let go my hand which according to me, I might hurted him unconciously.

At the last exhibition area, we met this one pakcik which told us about things there. He said he has been there twice. He asked me to hold (or pat) the toyol (which was already 'diawetkan' and dead) which I politely said no thank you pakcik with 'are you crazy pakcik' in my mind. Well, it was lucky to meet him as he gave us a lot of info which made the exhibition scarier than it was already as since he has a lot of story related to that. I asked the pakcik if he saw the pocong but he said that he didn't. He said that we Muslim usually harder to see since we have kalimah Lailahaillallah at our forehead. Phew, what a relieve.

Then Zainal decided to head back to the hantu pocong. O K A Y. Being a supportive partner I agreed even though dalam hati rase macam nak tikam-tikam je dier.

I don't know if they switched on the light or that place seems brighter than before but at least I could saw the cage of the 'thing'. We sat there with other few girls and listening to the the museum worker told stories about this stuff.

Suddenly Zainal said, "Cuba tengok tu... awak nampak tak....." paused.

"Nampak ape?" Paused again. Then he just shaked his head.

Nampak ape? NAMPAK APE? I didn't see anything. Not like I want. Okay, recited Ayat Kursi again.

After 20 minutes, we gave up. I relieved. This is one thing that I don't care if I didn't see. So we exited and the pakcik was not there anymore. Felt pity to him that we left him there and just walked away to see that 'thing'.

Well, takde pun bomoh-bomoh tu. Just 2 men lepaking at the door. Are they? I dunno la.

Well, good exhibition compared the last time at National Museum. At least it scared me off.

Oh ya, by the way, Zainal told me what he saw after we went out. No I won't tell you. Remembering this stuff at wee this hour was already a torture to me okay.

100th Post

Here I am sitting next to someone who has maths test tomorrow. I'm supposed to help him but at the end I'm the one who messed his head. (He said 'mane ade....' while petting my head. Meow meow).

This is my 100th post. Who would thought that I've written 100 post, uneducational nonsense post.

So I'm gonna waste my 100th post by this another nonsense post.

Hahahahhahhahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahaahaahahahhaah....

(Dunno why I became a bit crazy today. Maybe after hearing that my dad will send me to Kluang to work there if I didn't get any job. Sigh.)

We Knew Each Other

It's the time again when somebody's sister and brother are getting married. We are quite young (ye ke) to attend our friends' wedding as nobody is going to get married in these few months. So we just attend friends' sibling kenduri. The thing about Subang is that your friends' sister or brother usually your senior in the school. So we don't feel so awkward attending their wedding. Last week was Liyana's brother at Sheraton Subang and yesterday was Amri's sister at Dewan Jubli Perak Shah Alam.

Well, the best part of this (apart from the free food of course) is the chance to meet old friends back. It's like mini reunion. This is the time where stories will be exchange and old jokes will be repeat again. It feel so nice coz it's feel very familiar and comforting. It's nice to know that these are the people who you have grown up together, people who is at all over the world and finally when you are together again, it seems that we have just meet yesterday.

It's weird when you meet once or twice a year but you can continue the story that left behind. So, you still have crush at that person? She did that? You did this? And so on. Ah, I love reunion but except my class reunion la (psl dah kena bar kot. Asyik tak datang je. Sape suruh buat malam ada AF?). So when is the next wedding? Count me in (and jangan lupa ajak Zainal. Hehe.)

At Amri's sister wedding, Kak Siti Salina (prefect yang garang).


With Zainal at Liyana's brother wedding, An and Kak Suria (they has been together since form 2!). This is not exactly reunion la since I see him almost everyday, but hell, this is my blog. Suka hati la nak taruk gambar ape kan.With Nadhirah at Sheraton Subang.

The First Test

Yey... I passed my first test in meeting my future mother-in-law. I helped her to babysit my future nieces last Weds and this is the result (from what Zainal said):

"Pandai jaga budak. Tak nangis pun budak tu." That cute little girl even like me!! (A triumph for someone who doesn't like small kids).

"Tak banyak cakap la dia ni." Is that a good or bad thing? I assumed a good thing la kan. Well, kind of expecting this already. I am a quiet person unless I really knew you.

So hopefully the next test will not come so soon. =)