Last Few Minutes in 2005

Few minutes before 2006 and I'm writing this post. Quite pathetic actually, compared to millions of people around the world who was partying and having fun. But I'm having fun too by staying at home this year. The actual plan was going to Bukit Tinggi but it was cancelled and at last minute, it was on again but at that moment, my mood was to stay at home. Anyway, somebody promised me a concert tomorrow night, so I won't complained.

Sitting here recollecting all the memories in 2005, I kinda proud of myself. I achieved more than half of my 2005 resolutions. Futhermore, a lots of thing happened to me this year. Let's recap the main event la:

1. Starting the year by going to Hong Kong and Macau. Always wanted to go to Hong Kong since schooling days coz influenced by the evening chinese dramas.
2. Broke up on VALENTINE'S DAY. What's worst than that?
3. Made up back 13 days after that. Never thought that we'll be together again. My friend even made a bet with me to find another love in 3 months. But now, our love is stronger than ever.
4. Survived 2 eye operations. Especially the second one where I have to depend on painkiller and valium for 2 days.
5. Ditched my glasses after being my companion for almost 13 years.
6. Lost something that precious to me. It's ok, I get over it already.
7. Join gym for 3 months but actually been there about 1 month only. hehe.
8. Took my first vacation with my bf. But of course my cousins were there too.
9. Watched concert for the first time (yea, my life is quite pathetic).
10. And watched Backstreet Boys in person for first time, finally (long live BSB!!).
11. Started my final year of my bachelor degree. That's mean more works and thesis.
12. Learned to bake cookies and cook. This was quite a big effort for someone who hate cooking.
13. Tried to overcome my fear of water by learning to swim.
14. Put on some weight after 7 years of same underweight weight. (It would be better if the excess baggage goes to the place where what my friend said 'tempat kegilaan lelaki').

I think that's about it. Quite many for someone whose hobbies are sleeping and watching the idiot box. Well, hopefully 2006 will bring more happiness and more success (I need this for next year).

Happy New Year 2006 everyone!!

Pathetic and Sickening

I'm sick and tired of men who said they wanted to be your friend but the moment they knew that you don't want to be more than a friend with them, they ditched you. They even acted as if both of you never know each other before. For God's sake, where were all honest and sincere friendship that they used to say when they are trying to court us before. Why can't they just be friends when they know that you're unavailable. Maybe someday (MAYBE!) I might want to be more than a friend coz I realized he's sincere and honest in friendship.

I only found two (2!) guys that actually continue the friendship with me. I found them very trustful and a sincere kind of friends.

This is what happened when my guilt turned to anger. For someone whom I respected and looked up to, because he's superior than me, matured and highly educated, I found him doing this to me was very offensive. Now he's just like any other stupid and pathetic guys that I've met. No wonder they're still with nobody. I'm not going to pity or kesian them. Coz they deserved it!

You can see the pattern here. Why some guys just can't get any girls? Coz they don't deserve any girls. HA HA. Two words: TOO BAD.

What's in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other word would smell as sweet."
--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

What happen if 7 solehah chicks named themselves 'Tengkorak'? (No, they are not black metal group in disguise). Well, nothing changed about them, isn't it. They are still beautiful, cute, nice (in some ways. Huhu) and most important, they're still the best wife candidates (if you're looking for one la. Gals, I'm promoting you here. Threat me at Genting tau). But why they called themselves in such a dreadful name? If you were to ask them, they won't even now how to answer because the history is complex.

Naming a group or band isn't such a big deal especially when your band/group will last like tomorrow. Any names will do. But naming your child is another story. Some people would put some weird name (like Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple --a food name?), some people use simple and old school name and some even combine both parents name (this is the worse. What if the parents' name are Karim & Mastura? Kamas? Rimas? hehe). Well, there's a few tips of naming your child. First, pick a name. Try to imagine that you're 8-9 years old kid and find some funny names that can be make from the name that you chose. Can't find one? That's the correct name. Huhu. It's simple right. Ok, don't follow. It's crap.

The reason I'm crapping (is there such a word?) is because I'm hungry. Better stop before it's getting worse. (Another reason is... next time I tell you).

The child in you

Sometimes I wonder who actually celebrate Christmas in Malaysia. Or the correct question is how many people actually celebrate Christmas in Malaysia. If many, why are there so many people in the shopping complexes, cinemas and supermarkets. Is this how they celebrate Christmas. By going to the shopping complexes and supermarkets (buying groceries)? Weird.

I just realized how childish I can be sometimes. Just now at Subang Parade, there were Ninja Turtles making an appearence for photo taking with kids. I immediately exclaimed, 'There's only 3, where's the other one, Leonardo, the blue colour (my favourite, excuse me).' And Zainal looked at me with surprised when I continued naming all the Ninja Turtles (Donatello, Michelangelo & Rapheal). Another case was last week when I begged my mom to buy Pingu vcd. (It was really funny ok. It's about the penguin named Pingu). It stated at the vcd was for aged 1+. Huhu.

To think about it, there's a child in everyone that sometimes need be unleashed. Sometimes je la, not always. If always, people will get sick of you.

Hate Me! Queen of Destruction

It's confirmed. My computer hates me. Big time. In 3 months, this is the second it meletup. This time, while I'm excitingly planning my career (searching the right things to do after graduating next year). Thanks for ruining my future. I spend a lot of my money on you, remember, the new 17" LCD monitor, new processor, new motherboard, DVD-RW, new wireless, new headset, new webcam, and this is what I get? Thank you very much.

I'm so angry, furious, livid, enraged and perkataan-perkataan yang sewaktu dengannya right now. My boiling point is already over the standard requirement of ISO, IEC, BS, FDA and SIRIM. I phoned Zainal (my computer technician) but he didn't answer. I even threatened him in my message but no availed. I guess he already asleep. Then I tried to gain some sympathy from my brother (lord of destruction) but no reply. Where's the hell is all the people when I need them?

God, grant me some peace of mind before I start kicking my computer. (I have a confession. I got the feeling the reason my computer hates me even more because yesterday I banged him quite hard coz I can't take it already. Why you have to be so stuborn? Why you have to make my life miserable? Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?)

Queuing Tips

Tips when Queuing in Malaysia:

1. The shortest line always has the slowest/new/trainee/problematic cashier.
2. If you see a middle age woman lining up alone, you might pobably see her children (minimum: 3), around her the minute she at the counter. Of course she has to buy ALL the stuff to ALL her children including those who at home.
3. Always talk loudly about your life when queuing. People in front of you LOVE to hear all about you. If you're alone, call somebody or pretend you're talking on the phone.
4. If you are in a group, divided the group and locate each one in EVERY line. You don't know which line is faster, do you. Futhermore, this will trick the people who is lining up that you only want to buy for yourself.
5. Don't plan on what you want to buy when lining up even you have 20 minutes of waiting. Make your decision when you are at the counter. Take your time, the lines behind LOVE waiting.
6. Or better still, ask everything about the menu/show at the counter before making your decision (even though you know everything about it already). You don't want to regret on your decision, do you.
7. Move you body/head/legs/hands when you are lining up to show that you are an active person. If you accidently step/punch/slap the person behind you, don't apologize. Who ask them to stand so close to you, isn't it.
8. If you want to cut the line, pretend you're reading the menu/show times/information and then slowly step in the line. Make sure you stand near the line and pretend that you're there all along. When people behind you tap on your shoulder, pretend you don't realize it and start searching your phone and pretending that you just received a phone call. Hang up the phone when you arrive at the counter.
9. Lastly, if you think queuing is troublesome, just don't queue at all. We are kiasu Malaysian. People will understand lah.

Out of Range

Have you missed someone just because he's not in 20 miles radius from you? It's not like you meet him everyday when he's near but the minute he's out of your radius, you started to miss him, badly.

Well, that happened to me right now. He just gone for about, what, 2 hours? and here I am missing him already. What's worse is, we just met this evening and spent 5 minutes to buy movie tickets, 20 minutes to buy popcorn and 3 hours to watch King Kong.

That's life. You only appreciated things when they are already gone. Sigh. Please come back from Sabah quickly and we play paintball kay...

Afraid of Nothing

I always afraid of water. Especially calm water like lakes. (But of course I love beaches and sea coz it has wave and the main point is, it's not calm). The reason I afraid of water because I don't know how to swim. (And the reason I afraid of lakes is another story which does not relate with swimming. Malas la nak cite.... nanti org gelak psl alasan dier tak logik.)

I've learned swimming before, when I was in primary school. But I only went to 3-4 classes before I stopped. The reason I stopped was that there's a third person who against it (not my parents!). So whenever I go to beaches or swimming pool nowadays, I just stick to the shallow part which my feet can feel the ground. And whenever I tried to float my body, I always afraid that I would sink (not that I'm fat and heavy). So I stopped and gave up trying to swim. At the end, I just sit by the pool watching my brother happily swimming.

Then, I woke up one morning decided that I wanted to learn scuba diving and get the license. After getting my mom approval, I started my plan. First of all, I need to know how to swim. But the feeling of scare still haunt me until finally I dare myself to learn swimming again.

Today was my first lesson. I was tense. Then the coach asked me to float. I can floated in just one try. I was surprised. So was the coach. Then I realized, all this while I can float but afraid to do it. Surprisingly, I did quite well for the first lesson and the coach started to doubt that if I really don't know how to swim (Ok, I exaggerated here. Well, he did mention that I'm quite fast compared to other students).

Today's lesson, 'Don't be afraid of something before you try it'.

Oh, yeah... the reason I'm afraid of lakes is I don't know what's inside of the lake. It might be monster or big long snake or whatever (I was influenced by tv too much). The worse times of my life when my family went holidaying in Lake Toba, Medan and Lake Pedu, Kedah. I shivered everytimes I came close to the lakes. Please dad, no more holiday by the lakes...

An Alternative Medicine

I always believe alternative medicine more than modern medicine. I know I sound like I'm betraying my biomedical engineering background which involving modern technologies and artificial organ, but this is my opinion. It's not like I don't believe modern medicine at all, I still go to clinics and hospitals, but I think alternative medicine is better in long term. Alternative medicine like acupuncture, reflexology and recently (actually I've known this a long time but I found it very painful) bekam or Al-Hijamah (in arabic. I don't what it called in english so I left it as bekam) has been used in our society for a long time.

Today I've experinced bekam. Bekam means that you let go all the angin (air doesn't sound right) or blood in your body. Before this, I've done the one where it only release angin from your body. That was a painful experience and I only did once even though my dad asked me to do it again. It was done by a village folk. He used cups (the kind that you used to drink in your house. No special cup.) to suck out the angin. It left a red round mark on your body. The intensity of the colour depends on how much your angin at that part. It's very traditional way and I think very painful. Even though my asthma deceased (and almost stop) after that, but I won't do it again coz I couldn't stand the painful experience.

So today, I tried a method that sucks out your dirty blood. I only did this after being persuaded by my mom, dad and brother (actually when my brother said that pimples stopped grow on his face after doing bekam that convinced me). What do you expect, sucking out angin was very painful, imagine sucking out blood (with needles and all that). We when to the one at TTDI called Akubekam. First, they checked your nails and eyes. They actually can tell your disease by just looking at your eyes and nails. I was skeptic at first but all the things she said about me was true. I was impressed.

Firstly, they did on your back (coz I have problems in the neck and stomach). The needle they used was new, so no need to be worried of any infection (it was very small needle, no need to be scared here). When they poked the needle, it was not painful, it felt like ants biting you. So I relieved to know that (let's just say that I'm not very fond of injection). After that they did it at my nose (coz I have sinus). She showed me what came out and it's not very pretty sight (frozen dark red blood can be seen, pretty gross actually. It actually contains toxic from your body). I couldn't believe my eyes coz I didn't think my sinus was THAT bad. Hehe. But it's leave the same red round mark on my nose (now I'm stuck in the house coz I looked funny).

Well, the overall experience was not painful compared to the first one. I even might do it again. The place is very hygenic and they steriled every equipment used. Futhermore, they used special cups that can control the power of sunction. But the downside of this place is it's very expensive. One visit costs almost RM 200. Even though they asked to come every 2 weeks, but I don't think people will come that often. Maybe once a month or once in 6 weeks is okay.

I can't tell you if I'm cured after the bekam coz I just did this evening (only miracle can immediately cure your disease after treatment). But my shoulder and neck (where the bekam has been done) felt lighter a bit

I recommend bekam to those who has disease like asthma, sinus, arthitis and others. But I think the most important is that you believe and have faith in any treatment you do. Coz the mind and body works together. If you don't believe, you won't felt any difference or cured even though your have the best medicine a man can have.

It's Hurt to Hurt

I wish I hadn't had this feeling right now. It's hurt to hurt somebody else. I tried to minimize the hurting feeling but I know it won't be easy. This is what happened when you played with people's heart. And this is the effect of Crush Syndrome.

I never had a person who blunt enough to ask me whether I'm really interested in him. Tonight I got my medicine back. I was watching 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose' when I got the message. All my horror of watching that movie was gone. It was replaced by this message. (And all of sudden, that movie wasn't scary at all). I casually reply saying that I never meant to be more than just a friend (he even spelt my name wrong). But when he started feeling sorry for himself and apologized to me, I realised, I'm the one who should be apologized (I did apologized but I didn't meant it). I felt really bad and I can't concentrate on that movie anymore. So I reply saying that I'm not the one for him and then I realized that I was implying that he's not good enough for me. And that was NOT what I mean (for God's sake, I was watching movie here. How am I suppose to concentrate on 2 horror simultaneously?). Now I trying to mend the stupid thing I said and I found it awkward. I felt that I'm the guilty one here but I'm not guilty. (to think about it, I AM guilty)

Ahhhh. I sound like a bitch trying to be good but I am not. I mean I'm not a bitch. Okay, I have trouble expressing what I meant tonight. Maybe it's the movie.

To the person I've played, I'm so sorry and I think you should avoid girl who brave enough to send KFC to her lecturer.

Just a Little Time

Usually when we want to do something, we would plan ahead, set a suitable time and at the end, it's not going to happen coz we don't have any time to share. Why don't sometimes we do thing spontaneously. We don't have to plan, we just steal some time in our busy schedule to do something that we really want to.

It gives you more satistaction and you'll be happy after that rather than you force yourself to face another day. I'm glad I did what I did just now. Not that I proud of it, but the sudden action without plan gave me some extra satisfaction and trill of doing it. Why don't you give it a try. Give yourself a break and enjoy every minute of it.



Hmmm.... I'm still over the moon. (sorry, I won't tell you what happened. huhu.)

A Guy for My Life

Every woman has it's own criteria for her perfect man. Some concern about money, some looks for the physical appearance, some choose those who with personality and others will have any guy who is not gay.

I need a guy who can be my best friend, my boyfriend, my lover, my father, and my brother.
A best friend who can share my happiness and sadness, can see through me and be my gossip partner.
A boyfriend who is proud of me, console me when I'm down and support my every nonsense obsessions.
A lover who tingle me with every touch, knows where I love it best and gentle with every move.
A father who I can consult with, give his best to me, love me unconditionally, firm with his principle but accept people's idea and will lead me to the right path.
A brother who protect me, pampered me and fight with me.

It seems impossible to find this kind of guy, but I already found him (sorry gals, I found it first). Ok, he doesn't have all the above criteria (he hates gossip and will not support any stupid obsession I have at some moment in my life), but he has almost all above.

I thank you, sayang, for being such a all-rounder guy for me. I dunno how to live without you after this.

Crush Syndrome

Caused by: Crush Virus (named by my best-friend who knows me best)

Symptoms: A unexpected feeling of need to someone of opposite sex (but not to the boyfriend). Going head over heel with someone who being extra nice to the sufferer. Become extremely flirty, advanterous and might do anything that sometimes unusual to win the heart of targeted person. Boyfriend will be neglected or feel uninterested to him. Also known as infatuation.

Duration of illness: Depends. Sometimes after a week, it will go away. Usually it occurs for few weeks or months. The longest has been reported was almost a year.

Is it contagious? No. But the people around the sufferer might feel confused of the situation, bored with the excessive of details of the targeted person and even annoyed by the unbelieveble behaviour of the sufferer.

How to cure? Ignorance is the best medicine. The sufferer will be bored with the targeted person in no time. Especially when the sufferer has a boyfriend, the curing process will be faster.

How to detect that it has been cured? The sufferer suddenly feel bored, uninterested and ignore the targeted person. She will find faults and cons of the targeted person.

Is it dangerous? No, but if you are the sufferer's boyfriend, you might need to be extra nice to her to make sure that the illness is cured quickly. But if you are the targeted person, I'm so sorry.

Why it happened? Might caused by the lack of attention from the boyfriend or just pure flirtation that gone wrong. And usually it's the latter one.

Come and Go

I wanted to write something else tonight, but the phone call I received few minute ago have made me changed my mind. My mom ex-driver (my mom just retired a week ago) has passed away.

I was shocked by that news. I meet him just last week. He's only in 30s. See how's life works. You fine one day and the next day you might gone. In this few months, it has been many death involving somebody that I know. Before this, involving one of my relatives. He was just 15 years old, just finished taking PMR. He had a fever, few days later diagnosed leukemia and 2 days after that passed away.

I occured to me that death can come to you anytime. But the question is, are you ready to meet you Creator? Ready or not, when your time has come, you have to go. By writing this, I feel goosebumps all over my body. I just realised how I am not ready to meet my Creator. How my life is indulge with sins and mistakes. Oh God, let me taubat first before You take me.

Anyway, that's life. Everyone lives and dies. It's how you live your life that matters.

Al-Fatihah to Abg Nan... May you rest in peace.

What Purple?

When you read the title, you might think that this blog is all about me liking everything that purple or forced to be purple (like moon) and talked about it. No, no, I won't do such things. Seriously, I do not LOVE purple colour. I remember when I was in primary school and there was a series of novel called Sweet Valley Twins (do they still have it now?). Anyway, in that story, it have this club for oh-I'm-so-gorgeous-and-beautiful girls called Unicorn and their official colour was purple. They wore everything purple, from jeans to begs. And at that time I promised myself not to like purple. But I lately I noticed that everything (not everything la, I'm being exaggerate here) looks nice in purple. It's like I've been cursed by the purple karma or something. Hehe.

Okay la (I'm trying to stop using la but being a truly Malaysian and all that... it's kinda hard actually to stop it), I'll try to justify the blog's title. Imagine this, you are going to vomit but you force yourself to hold it, what colour is your face? White with a bit of purplish isn't it. Well, same here. I was trying to vomit all the words from my brain and my heart to this blog. It's hard to do it, considering I'm not that diligent enough to type everything. That's why it's turn puple. Okay, it's crap I know. But I need to make up something.

The conclusion, I'm trying to be those people who when they were writing essay for exams and assignments, they did a very good job with no grammar mistakes and the writing was beatiful, but it was out of topic. Like the question asked you to write about your favourite sports but end up writing why sports is good for everyone. I'm not saying that I'm like those people (hey, my essays was good back then you know... you can ask my teachers) but I'm trying to fill in their shoes to understand them. Haha...

Whatever it is, I'll write whatever I like. Enough said.

People We Meet

Everyday you wake up and you meet people. God makes a way that no matter how anti-social are you, you'll end up meeting people either you like it or not. You have to deal with people to get food, to go places and everything lah. It's how you deal with people that's the problem.

Some people you meet don't leave a trace in your life, they just a memory in your past, some made an impact to your life in good or bad way but some you can't live without. I wish I remember everybody I met in my 22 years of living but of course it's impossible. I can't even remember people that I meet yesterday.