I felt disengaged these past few days. I felt like my movements were in auto mood and my mind was at somewhere else. It's like watching my body walking and doing whatever she needed to do while my mind wonders elsewhere. Yes, seriously.
Like yesterday, I woke up late and in normal right of mind, I should be rushing to catch the bus. But I wasn't. I just did my stuff in the normal speed of someone who doesn't need to rush.
What the hell is happening here? Why my mind is imagining the future without living the present?
Maybe for some reasons, my subconscious mind has ready to go home. She's having the visions what's going to happen and unintentionally bring me to that kind of world where current activities doesn't matter anymore.
My mind has brought me to various locations and showed one scene to another scene in incoherent mode. Everything from family, friends, hope and dreams just jumble up together creating a really messy scene.
Then, I started to miss my friends. I called my best friend last night and I missed our conversation. Suddenly I wanted to go back to the days where we were unattached. I would crashed at her house and talk girly stuff all night long. We made fun of each other and laughed it all. We bare our darkest secrets (really really dark secrets) and trust each other with all our heart. But that things would not happened again. She's waiting to give birth anytime soon, in fact it was 5 days overdue. And me, thousands miles away from home.
Funnily, I missed hanging out with Zainal's friends too coz they are so loud and hilarious. WTH?
Right now, I need to focus. I need a director to cut out all these bloopers and unnecessary scenes and focus on now. There's so many things to do and if I'm still in this smoking-weed hippie zone, I'm in deep shit. Deep to the waist kind of shit. No kidding. 2 presentations, 1 business plan, 1 final report and 2 final exams kind of mess I'm talking about here.
Ok, I need Steven Spielberg in my head right now, with a tight budget and true story screenplay with happy ending. Right now.
Like yesterday, I woke up late and in normal right of mind, I should be rushing to catch the bus. But I wasn't. I just did my stuff in the normal speed of someone who doesn't need to rush.
What the hell is happening here? Why my mind is imagining the future without living the present?
Maybe for some reasons, my subconscious mind has ready to go home. She's having the visions what's going to happen and unintentionally bring me to that kind of world where current activities doesn't matter anymore.
My mind has brought me to various locations and showed one scene to another scene in incoherent mode. Everything from family, friends, hope and dreams just jumble up together creating a really messy scene.
Then, I started to miss my friends. I called my best friend last night and I missed our conversation. Suddenly I wanted to go back to the days where we were unattached. I would crashed at her house and talk girly stuff all night long. We made fun of each other and laughed it all. We bare our darkest secrets (really really dark secrets) and trust each other with all our heart. But that things would not happened again. She's waiting to give birth anytime soon, in fact it was 5 days overdue. And me, thousands miles away from home.
Funnily, I missed hanging out with Zainal's friends too coz they are so loud and hilarious. WTH?
Right now, I need to focus. I need a director to cut out all these bloopers and unnecessary scenes and focus on now. There's so many things to do and if I'm still in this smoking-weed hippie zone, I'm in deep shit. Deep to the waist kind of shit. No kidding. 2 presentations, 1 business plan, 1 final report and 2 final exams kind of mess I'm talking about here.
Ok, I need Steven Spielberg in my head right now, with a tight budget and true story screenplay with happy ending. Right now.
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