The friend that never was

Have you ever had a friend that everyone thought that both of you are best friends but deep down inside you really hate her to bits. Yes I do. I thought she was my close friend too but after 2 years, I realized that she used me, a lot. When you care for someone, you will do stuff for them willingly but in this case I realized I was used and she didn't care about me at all. Yes, in front of people she would said "Don't hurt mun, she's my best friend." But nobody knows that she didn't even respect me at all.

I don't know why suddenly I'm very pissed off at her tonight. It just that all the things she did to me kept flashing in my head.

I remember one time, when I just acknowledge her as one of my close friend, she laughed and mocked at me when I told her my problem. WTF? I felt ridiculed and at the same time ashamed that how she could play with my feeling. From that day onwards, I realized she was never my friend. Friend never judged and ridiculed you. They listen, care and support you.

I remember one time she has promised me to go to some festival together. So I was rushing from home to pick her up. Yes, I admitted it was a bit late coz it was raining and as you know raining in KL means traffic jam. On the way to pick her up, she send me a message saying that she didn't want to go coz she didn't feel like to. I called her immediately but she never answered. I went to her room, knocking at her door like poor beggar but she didn't open the door. I saw the light and fan was on so you know what it means. The next day she didn't even apologize and acted as if nothing happened. I was so pissed off, I didn't talk to her at all all week even though I sat next to her in class. Surprise surprise. The week after that incident she asked me to pick her before I went to test centre. WTH.. Now you know why I said she used me.

I hate it when she self proclaimed that she was my best friend and she knew me. She never even call me. She missed call me and hoping I call back. In your dream bitch. When she send text messages, it always about something she needs from me. Never message of asking me how am I doing or something like that. I remember she said that I got more money so I should call her. Hello!! How about that she called her boyfriend 2-3 times a day and all I can hear what she talked about was "Abang....yayang rindu abang la....". Wueksss... *vomit*. So you have credit to call your boyfriend, but you don't have it to call your 'best friend'. I don't need her to call me and talked for 1 hour. Sometimes when there were important things, please call me and inform me. She never did.

At one raya, she asked me not to do open house until she came back from her Borneo home. Okay, I scheduled my open house so that she can come. Guess what? She never did. She went dating with her boyfriend. Sometimes you wondered where this friendship goes right?

I know she always used me coz I have transportation. But do she ever paid for anything. I don't mind if it's short distance journey. I sometimes tumpang my friend's car. But she never ever offered to pay for petrol in this 4 years of friendship. I remeber 1 time I asked her for toll money and she showed me a 50 ringgit note. WTH. It's only rm1 and she said she has no change. And as you can guess of course la I don't take the money. Sometimes, I don't need the money for my petrol but I hope that she at least offered to pay or even help me filling the petrol. She just sat in the car and acted like I'm her driver.

She almost made me broke up with my boyfriend. She compared him with her boyfriend. It's not fair coz hers staying like 5 minutes from here and mine was like 45 minutes from here. So when her boyfriend has to move to Klang, I laughed at her face. And I felt so good of doing it. And she did it (trying to break us) again in my final year. She talked me out of the relationship by supporting me to have affair with my lecturer. Please la... My love is stronger than that ok.

Now, my few friends complaining about her to me that she being selfish and sometimes doesn't care about people's feeling. I just smiled coz I've been through that earlier than them. I even had to live with her for 2 years.

I always hate the way she tought that she was the important people in the gang. At one time, we all went to a play except her (coz she didn't want to). It was a wonderful play and we talked about it all the time and how we had a blast time. Suddenly she exclaimed that we're happy when she's not that there. Well, of course, I shouted in my heart la. But verbally I said that it's her choice not coming with us, so don't blaimed us. What she think of herself? She think if she wasn't there, we will feel bored and had no fun?

I'm so glad that she didn't make to the photo shot we had as our last project. Another of her stupid excuses. I'm happy that at least when I looked at my convo pictures, I only see my true friends.... the one that care about me. The one that I will always remember and miss.

Footnote: she might read this (or not!). I know she read my blog. But do I look that I care? Hell no.