I stumbled upon a blog last night that keep me thinking the whole day today. At first I was impressed by this guy achievement in his career which he described in the blog (plus there’s a link to his resume). As I read through, I discovered that he was having affair behind his wife back. He even post his ‘girlfriend’ picture with different pose and comments.
Well, this is not a shocker to me. Growing up in the family where men ratio is bigger than women, I’m used to hear about this stuff. I was even involved in this situation when an uncle of mine brought me along to spy on my another uncle second wife. At that time I was a naïve little girl but big enough to remember the details. These few years, Raya had been different when second wife topic is a taboo when two of my uncles actually took a second wife each. My grandma was sick for more than a week after hearing that news. She has specifically told her every son that whoever who wish to have second wife must wait till she died. She said as long as she live she doesn’t stuff like this happen. Not to mention in office where mostly married men were the ones that most gatal.
So who can blame woman when they refuse to get married. Unmarried women are on the rise. They are successful and single. They choose career over marriage. What they choose has sparked fury from men. Men said that they are choosy, fussy and tak ikut sunnah Rasul la. But who can blame them when men themselves who create this unfaithfulness condition.
Okay, this is seems paradox for someone who’s going to get married in 4 days. Even though the reality is this, but I still believe in marriage. I believe if we BOTH work hard enough to sustain our relationship, we will be the happiest couple till end of our life despite all the hardness in the world. But if one failed, this matrimony will collapse easily. Yes, I’ve learned that and so did him. We are not the saint couple. We have our highs and lows in our relationship. We’ve been hurt from each other but we recovered and we learned from our mistake.
Not all marriage must end up with an affair or second wife or divorce. There are many more that are still deeply in love after 50 years of together. In fact I think there are many couple like this in the world but never been highlighted. I understand that being a Malay people always don’t like that kind of stuff. They think it’s mengada-ngada la, geli la etc. But when cases like divorces, affairs and stuff like that, they will follow throughout. Maybe we should changes this mindset. Then, without we realize it, we will follow the happiness and adopt it our life.
Well, this is not a shocker to me. Growing up in the family where men ratio is bigger than women, I’m used to hear about this stuff. I was even involved in this situation when an uncle of mine brought me along to spy on my another uncle second wife. At that time I was a naïve little girl but big enough to remember the details. These few years, Raya had been different when second wife topic is a taboo when two of my uncles actually took a second wife each. My grandma was sick for more than a week after hearing that news. She has specifically told her every son that whoever who wish to have second wife must wait till she died. She said as long as she live she doesn’t stuff like this happen. Not to mention in office where mostly married men were the ones that most gatal.
So who can blame woman when they refuse to get married. Unmarried women are on the rise. They are successful and single. They choose career over marriage. What they choose has sparked fury from men. Men said that they are choosy, fussy and tak ikut sunnah Rasul la. But who can blame them when men themselves who create this unfaithfulness condition.
Okay, this is seems paradox for someone who’s going to get married in 4 days. Even though the reality is this, but I still believe in marriage. I believe if we BOTH work hard enough to sustain our relationship, we will be the happiest couple till end of our life despite all the hardness in the world. But if one failed, this matrimony will collapse easily. Yes, I’ve learned that and so did him. We are not the saint couple. We have our highs and lows in our relationship. We’ve been hurt from each other but we recovered and we learned from our mistake.
Not all marriage must end up with an affair or second wife or divorce. There are many more that are still deeply in love after 50 years of together. In fact I think there are many couple like this in the world but never been highlighted. I understand that being a Malay people always don’t like that kind of stuff. They think it’s mengada-ngada la, geli la etc. But when cases like divorces, affairs and stuff like that, they will follow throughout. Maybe we should changes this mindset. Then, without we realize it, we will follow the happiness and adopt it our life.
Easy said than done but hard work will be paid though. Let’s pray happiness to all mankind.
2 comments:
aloo cik adik, takde citer lain ker time nak kawin ni. Dont stress urself babe, nak jadi pengantin ni nanti tak berseri :p
siapa tak nervous nak jadi isteri orang. We can plan, but hanya Allah yang menentukan.
Can't believe it...now most cousins dh kawin. Still remember mase2 kecik2 dulu masa balik kampung....now we barely see each other and u gonna have 2 kampungs to visit during Raya. Sedih-sedih....
Hehe... sorry.. tetiba je terpikir bende-bende ni...
Skrang pun bila balik kampung kak nurul pun dah tak balik sekali =( yea la u have another kampung to visit too.. haha.. hope next raya, there are addition 1 baby from u... ;p
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