Even crab don't feel crap

I felt like a crap. I dunno if I woke up at the wrong side of bed but that’s the only side that I wake up everyday. Or is it because the first voice I heard today was my boss calling me even before I reached office. I dunno.

Life at work is becoming shitty and shittier. It’s true what my ex-colleague said before; even though your working with the best company with best benefit with the best colleague but if your boss is the total asshole, you won’t be happy. Because boss is the one who give you the performance rating and your KPIs every year. Boss is the one who determine your advancement in a company. Boss who can make or break you. Colleagues can make you laugh and share your tears but they won’t determine either you are going to stay at that spot forever or climb the ladder.

To make things worse everyday there are always somebody who resign. Turnover for this company is very high, no doubt about it. Even my close colleagues also has resigned. She’s the one who sat next to me and always become the place for luahan perasaan. I kinda miss her right now. Hmmm…

I know my boss don’t trust me. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m not a pharmacist and I kind of suck in formulation. What to do, they don’t teach drugs formulation in engineering department. Sometimes when I find out some new info (I read about this also okay… jangan harap nak suruh dia ajar ke ape) or I give some ideas for improvement, he just brushed off. Just now I heard someone in QC said that my boss said I can’t make decisions. I’m not sure if he meant that I’m not capable of making any decisions or at my level, I’m not supposed to make any decisions. Whatever he meant I don’t care. Now when people asked anything, I just asked them to wait for my boss. Then the people will know how always my boss gone and how always he talked around the bush which have no conclusion at the end. Padan muka. Shit la, one day if there’s a law saying that you can kill a person without being charged with anything, he’s in my top list.

Did I tell you that he’s my Champion for 6 Sigma? How unfortunate someone who has to be with his boss only. Some other candidate got to choose other head of department as their Champion. But I am stuck with this balloon. Just now a person remarked who’s the unlucky person who has him as Champion. When I admitted it was me, she just laugh away and wish me luck. Sedih tak?

All I want to do right now is crawling under the comforter and sleep forever with Zainal by my side. I don’t care about my KPIs, the 6 Sigma or any production problems anymore. I don’t care if tomorrow is holiday and this Sunday is my birthday. I just don’t care. I just want to be happy and stress-free. Is it hard to ask?

Ready or not

Ready or not, the hectic days are coming before I realized it. The Six Sigma Define stage training end yesterday. The Tollgate Review will be at the end of this month. It supposedly not that much work as we required to do around 10 presentation slides. But within that 10 slides, there's thousand of data that need to be collected. I don't mind collecting data and analysing it. But what I don't like is when it's involving other people/department. I don't have this ability to force people to get my data. When they started saying they are busy and such, I immediately back off. That's why I always get anything I need from another more than a week. Hai...am I too soft with people?

Beside Six Sigma, I have volunteered myself to become internal audit for ISO 9001 and cGMP. That was before I knew that I was selected as Green Belt candidate. So, I'll be going to internal audit training this week and the audit start week after next.

The question is.... when am I going to start collecting the data for my Six Sigma? Waaaaa....

On other note, I'm turning quarter century next week... Can't believe how fast we getting old. Was hopping to get a rabbit from hubby but I am not sure at this stage of workload, is it a wise idea to keep a pet especially the one that needs a lot of care. But I want one!! So tomorrow we will survey the rabbits.... =)

Oh, I want to watch the shitty AF now.

Green belt

I was chosen to do project under Six Sigma Green Belt second wave. To tell the truth, I'm secretly excited but mostly nervous. I'm nervous because I'm scared I can't achieve my KPI (key performance indicators) at the end of the year since I'm involving in this Six Sigma. I think this is a very good opportunity to improve myself in corporate world coz Green Belt certified surely can improve my paycheck tremendously. Hehe...

Seriously, I'm not even sure if my topic can have hard saving of RM500 000 in 6 months. I need to save that amount of money to obtain the green belt. That's something be scared of. Furthermore the increasing workload of my department has made the situation worse. I just wasted 2 days of this week writing something that would be discharged coz of my boss indecisive mind and degil problem. Shit la.

Next week I will go for the 3 days training for this six sigma thing. I've seen all the previous batch belters who need to work till late at night to finish this thing. Really really need to work hard for this thing. Worse still, your saving is not enough to qualify you. So you have to take another project to top up the balance. That's horror man. The good thing about being chose is that I don't need to do the continuous improvement project (CIP) that required every executive to do at least 2 a year. Haha..

At one point of the day in the office, I felt like stopping all my work at once and just enjoy the gift of technology, internet. And thankfully, I always have a lot of ideas to search for during office hour. But when I step into my house, my head when blank on what site to go. So I end up playing games or just watch tv.

I wish my new department colleague will get well soon and come back to work soon. Since she joined my department, she's been on leave for a week twice and now MC for a week plak. Hai, at the end, I felt like previous condition-me doing all the department job alone again. Sometimes I wonder if boss is programmed to have an allergic reaction to doing works. The weird thing is, they can write a 4 pages report by hand and ask us to type back. Can they just type instead of write it down? But they keep insisting the latest and best computer in the company. Weird but true.

So good luck to me.

Meow meow

There's a calender next to my office printer which highlight mother's love. Instead of putting human pictures, it posts picture of animals with their baby. Every month it showed different animal. It so happen in April, it showed a leopard hugging with her cub. Oh my God, that was the cutest picture ever.

The picture made me want a cat desperately. Every time I passed the printer, I will stare at the picture and missed more and more my pets. I missed the fishes that I promised to bring to new home but they are so big now and the aquarium is quite big too... So sorry guys...

Cats is no-no as we live in apartment right now. It won't have any suitable area for them to have a good life without disturbing our place. Geezzz... I want a pet!

I grew up with pets around me. From fish, rabbit, birds, chicken, turtles to iguana (only few months), we never have a shortage of animal to taken care and play around with. Cats will always be around; no matter the one that taken care of or volunteer to be taken care of (stray cat la). I love animals cause I can talk talk to them and pretend to get angry with them. Haha.

Whatever it is, I think whoever who hate animals are the one who don't have hearts. But I hate ants, mosquitoes & rats. The others are free to stay but please don't disturb me. And spider with long legs are everywhere in my house, not that I hate them but they made my house looked unkeep and there's a lot of spiderweb everywhere. Please spider with long legs, please stop making spiderwebs everywhere.