2 years and counting

Last Tuesday our legal union turned 2 years. I can't believe how fast the time has moved. I still remember last year for our 1st anniversary we went to Raleigh and met Malaysians there. This year the day itself was one of the busiest day of my week. I was out of the house at 9am and only back home at 5pm. And guess what I found on the dining table when I was back in the evening? This lovely red roses in the clear glass vase.

Oh my God, I was surprised! The flowers was shipped via Fedex from California. This was his plan in case I was at home. Literally it's hard to buy each other present secretly when you go everywhere together. Honestly, I didn't get anything for my husband. I'm such a bad wife. I forgot that I still can buy stuff online (like I always do) without having to spoil the surprise. Really disappointed with myself.

I decided we should dine out to celebrate. We went to Red Lobster as they have promotion and it's a seafood restaurant. Might as well go to straight to seafood restaurant as that's the only thing we can eat. Other restaurant might be nicer and has more romantic ambiance but when you can only choose 2 dishes from the hundreds of dishes in the menu, it's not appealing anymore. Red Lobster was good actually. We really enjoyed our meals. The service was good too, they very attentive and made our dinner enjoyable. Though I suspected Red Lobster is the place to go if you are celebrating someone's birthday as throughout our dinner, there were 3 birthday songs were sang by the waitresses.

The roses and hubby

Feeling guilty of not buying anything for my hubby, I suggested that the ski trip that we are going to take will be my treat. That's my present for him for our anniversary. That's lead to another guilt. I have to postpone the ski plan again for the second time as I decided to change course. Don't worry honey, we will ski for sure.

To tell the truth, when you are married and still hasn't got any kid, all the trip you took feel like celebration or honeymoon. The Florida trip that we had in December was supposed to be our 2nd anniversary trip. So when the exact date came, I felt like I already celebrated it. Last year we when to New York. I wonder where are we going next year? I hope by next year on our anniversary, we have our tiny clone with us or at least on the way in my uterus. Finally, my motherly instinct kicks in.

Playing badminton with a pair of boots

After hibernating in my apartment for few weeks due to arctic wind that came for a vacation in US, finally the temperature has risen again. Maybe En Arctic Wind decided to go home and let the sunshine warmth be our friend now. It feel so good to be able to not wearing my bomber jacket and wear my Nike shoes back again.

That day I had a conversation with my mom and she still has this hope that I would do PhD in US after my Master's. Sabar ye mak, satu-satu. Last night kena ceramah lagi on the procedure of PhD in US for the hundredth of time. Ok, InsyaAllah one day. Anyway, in the conversation she said that maybe after this can go to university in the Northeast or Mid West. I was like noooo.. it's freezing cold there! Then she laughed at me saying, Ha! Dulu sibuk sangat nak pergi tempat ada snow la konon, nak pakai baju tebal-tebal, sekarang baru tahu.... hihi.

So yesterday, finally we were able to use our badminton racket that was bought during the coldest day of winter. It was fun to play in front of our house again. I used to play badminton with my dad and my brother when I was small. Then I married with someone who played badminton a lot and actually very good at it. However, since we lived in apartment at level 13, we never played any badminton except at Cyberjaya's court.

I bet my neighbours never saw people play badminton at the parking lot. Hehe... It was so much fun but at the same time tiring as I was against a good player. He didn't sweat at all and I was running and jumping all over the place. And laughing while playing is not advisable at all!

The sad thing is it's going to be raining for the whole week. Baru nak semangat...

Looking back

It's Friday night and I have 2 invitations to party. But I decided that blog surfing is way more interesting (OMG, I'm so old!) and Zainal was diligently studying his security books. After bored to death surfing Amazon (after deciding online shopping is waay more interesting than reading about people who I didn't know), I started to harass my housemate to stop study. I think he's the one who should be taking this Master instead of me. Hehe. After being ignored few times and decided that I rather not knowing things that I can't afford, I decided to read my earlier posts. I wanted to see how I have grown all these years.

I started the blog in 2005. I should have started it earlier, capturing every moment of LASIK pains. But I didn't and I missed the story of the worst medical experience I ever had. Well, in 2005 I was 22 years old. I was the confused, funny and sometimes angry final year undergraduate student. When I read it, my life seemed in such a mess that it made a good blogging material. Hehe.

Funnily I think I prefer my previous writing than now. Now I'm just a boring 26 year woman who still confused, not funny anymore and always angry last semester Master's student. Where have all my sense of humour and my selamba (as in I-don't-care-what-people-think-of-me-unless-I'm-happy attitude) attitude gone? Apparently working life has changed me a little bit (more like a lot).

What I'm proud is that I still managed to continue this blog, even though I don't update it as much as before, I still keep the same URL, still using the same blogging site provider and most importantly still true to myself. I don't have to be hypocrite in my blog just because to make sure that people think I'm a nice person (come on!).

To tell the truth, it wasn't easy to be yourself without hurting people even though you are doing it unintentionally. There are few posts that caused trouble to myself but I managed to go through it. When I read it again, I realized this kind of things that happened in my life that tought me and that make me smile. It seems funny now compare to 4 years ago.

So, my new year resolution (I keep making new year resolutions konon-konon masih new year la kan.. haha): To keep on writing, not just the serious and boring stuff, but all the stuff that made me, me.

Today I promised myself

I wish I had his strength and willpower not being a hypocrite. To accept when to delete a person from his life and when to accept which people worth retained. I couldn't do that. I'm a soft-hearted person who always think that maybe that they have 'reasons' why they did that to me (I learned that people always have 'reasons'). Even though they hurt me many times. Even though I despised that person, but on the outer layer I would put a smile, act like they are my good friends and brave the hurtful feeling inside.

So this new year, I've made a pact with myself. No more self-degrading. I will not let people play with my emotions, take advantage of me and use me. I will disregard those who fall in that category. Enough of this bullshit.

I'm done being at mercy of others because I thought I need them to make me happy. I hate feeling that they do me a favor by letting me being part of their 'gang'. Clearly, I wasn't voluntarily being accepted among them. I felt like as if they were forced to accept my presence just because we share our homeland.

Allah is the Most Beneficial. At the first day on this new year, He showed me the true face of my friends. I knew where I stand know and I intend to keep this stand intact. No more trying hard to be friend with them when clearly they don't even care about me.

So as today, I told myself, I will not let people control my happiness. I am my destiny.

The road ahead might be long and uncertain, but with my family and trusted friends, I know I'll be fine, InsyaAllah.

Here's to 2010

I'll have to make way to new year post before continue posting about my trip to Florida. It's this blog tradition on reminiscing the year before to welcome the new year. Hehe. I only realized that this year when I started to read back what I wrote on new year eves or new year days. Hmmm..

What happened in 2009? If I can give a theme for 2009, I would called it 'the learning year'. It's not only I started my graduate study but I've learned a lot from living alone in foreign land. Anyway, these were events that made impact on my 2009:

1. Celebrated the new year 2009 by sleeping all the way coz of jet lag with my mom.
2. Started my graduate study in Duke University.
3. Made a lot of new friends and reconnect old friends here in States and Malaysia.
   
4. Away from my husband for 184 days. I only spend 50% of the year with him.
5. Finally certified as Advanced PADI SCUBA diver.
   
6. Experience my first snow in Durham and finally experience all seasons.
7. Watched Duke Football and Basketball, and now I'm a true Blue Devil fan.
8. Visited many places this year - New York, Detroit, Chicago, Charleston, Washington DC, Miami, Orlando and Key West.
9. Visited 2nd Disney Land. 3 more parks to go?

In 2010, I hope to achieve more success especially in career and personal growth. Hope we can expand our lovely little family in 2010 too. Not forgetting to travel a lot, learn and experience new things and enjoy life more.

Happy New Year 2010 everybody!