Sometimes I felt that he didn't want me to go to US. He seems like he's not supporting me. However, sometimes he does look excited. Seriously he made me confused.
I really don't know what to feel right now. I felt excited and happy to further my study as I was my dream since after SPM. (God knows how I felt when I discovered I couldn't study oversea even though my result was better than my friends that could fly away. Crushed to pieces). But on the other side, I felt scared coz I never been alone, I felt guilty for leaving him for few months and I'm confused about his permission. If he doesn't allow me to go, then I'm not going. But I'm not going to work and I want to study art. Haha... No, seriously.
Because of this negative feeling is more dominant than the positive feeling, I kind of scared to proceed to next step. I also spend more time finding on how to make him join me than I'm searching for my preparation. I don't mind spending all my money and resources to make him come and be with me when the time is right. I believe it would be the best thing would ever happen to us. Amin and InsyaAllah.
At this moment, I don't know what to do. If only he showed some excitement, then I'll be in peace at least for awhile. I don't want to be like P. Ramlee and Azizah:
I really don't know what to feel right now. I felt excited and happy to further my study as I was my dream since after SPM. (God knows how I felt when I discovered I couldn't study oversea even though my result was better than my friends that could fly away. Crushed to pieces). But on the other side, I felt scared coz I never been alone, I felt guilty for leaving him for few months and I'm confused about his permission. If he doesn't allow me to go, then I'm not going. But I'm not going to work and I want to study art. Haha... No, seriously.
Because of this negative feeling is more dominant than the positive feeling, I kind of scared to proceed to next step. I also spend more time finding on how to make him join me than I'm searching for my preparation. I don't mind spending all my money and resources to make him come and be with me when the time is right. I believe it would be the best thing would ever happen to us. Amin and InsyaAllah.
At this moment, I don't know what to do. If only he showed some excitement, then I'll be in peace at least for awhile. I don't want to be like P. Ramlee and Azizah:
"Kerana cita-cita, ku korbankan cinta."
2 comments:
dalam hidup kite x boleh dapat semuanye...the right decision x semestinye the best..
gud luck
berkorban apa saja
harta ataupun nyawa....
....
bile last day kat tempat lame aku??
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