Sometimes I called you just because I wanted to talk and share my day, week or just some random moments. But I guess it's hard just to listen without condemning back whatever I shared with you. It was always like that, me sharing and you condemning. Every time.
I guess that's why when I was growing up, I kept everything to myself. I wrote on many diaries that I collected throughout the years pouring my heart out. Deep inside my heart I just want you to listen, sympathize or laugh with me but not using my words to get back at me. But no, what I shared was wrong, said you, I should have done this not that.
Over the years, I tried to close the gaps and have a healthy relationship with you again. But I realized how naive I am trying to convince myself that things will change easily.
Especially when there's a third party that was set to destroy all of us. I got the feeling that third party was determined to set us apart. Burning every tie that hold all of us and making me a bad guy.
Tonight, when things got tough and rough, I called you to share my story. And I regret of doing it. I forgot that I am a bad guy. Bad guy never gets love. Bad guy is always wrong. And yup, the third party is best girl you ever met.
Well, if this is my fate, I shall keep my mouth shut and share to those who appreciate me for who I am only.
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