38th Anniversary

Yesterday I went to my parents home after coming back from a meeting in Damansara. It supposed to be a quick stop to get some documents. Then more documents requested by mr hubby while I was there that lead to wonderful discovery.

Mak discovered her surat nikah and guess what? That day was her anniversary with my dad. Guess how long? 38 years anniversary!

Congratulations mak and abah.... Love both of you so much. Though I'm full of second child plus the only girl syndrome when growing up (and even now), they still love me endlessly and I am so blessed.

I told abah, on your 40th anniversary, let's do some celebration. Yeah, we can do kenduri doa selamat he said. I said you can have pelamin and cut cake again. He just laughed and that pelamin idea will not going to happen I can assure you. Haha...

I prayed that they still will be here, healthy and active for their 50th, 60th,70th and more anniversary.

I just want you to listen

Sometimes I called you just because I wanted to talk and share my day, week or just some random moments. But I guess it's hard just to listen without condemning back whatever I shared with you. It was always like that, me sharing and you condemning. Every time.

I guess that's why when I was growing up, I kept everything to myself. I wrote on many diaries that I collected throughout the years pouring my heart out. Deep inside my heart I just want you to listen, sympathize or laugh with me but not using my words to get back at me. But no, what I shared was wrong, said you, I should have done this not that.

Over the years, I tried to close the gaps and have a healthy relationship with you again. But I realized how naive I am trying to convince myself that things will change easily.

Especially when there's a third party that was set to destroy all of us. I got the feeling that third party was determined to set us apart. Burning every tie that hold all of us and making me a bad guy.

Tonight, when things got tough and rough, I called you to share my story. And I regret of doing it. I forgot that I am a bad guy. Bad guy never gets love. Bad guy is always wrong. And yup, the third party is best girl you ever met. 

Well, if this is my fate, I shall keep my mouth shut and share to those who appreciate me for who I am only.

Testing 123

Using my phone phone to blog... Testing if it's ok or not.

Proudly join the android army... Haha

Hapy Father's Day

Happy father's day abah!! I love you =)

Full message will come soooonn..

Friday tears

I just heard the Perry Band song, If I Die Young and got emotional tonight.

I just wrote a post on Pak's death and suddenly 2 days ago I was shocked by another 2 deaths within 24 hours. Both are someone I knew well. 

I don't know if I can write about death anymore. Suddenly death of my loved ones become the most of my status updates in my Facebook. 

But the last two were the shocking ones. It didn't come with notice.

I know Pak Zhari has lung cancer but I also knew that he wasn't hospitalised on the day he passed away. In fact he still went to work on that day. Heck, he was not even retired yet. He was my father younger brother. How do I know that the last time I met him was few months ago would be the last time.

I met my father-in-law, also called Abah 2 weeks ago. I always find that visiting him was pleasant experience. You can see happiness in his face every time we visited him. Like every single time. Last 2 weeks visit was like any other visit, he was telling stories and asking about our life. How do I know that was the last time I was going to visit him.

Well, that's life. Allah has promise every person will face death. How, when and where is not known to us. He asked us to be prepared all the time. Am I prepared yet? Are you?

Al-Fatihah to Pak Zhari who passed away on the Friday night and Abah on the Friday afternoon. May Allah bless your soul and place you among His favourites...