Would be nice to wear this during Halloween

Yeah, like Malaysia celebrate this Halloween lah. On second thought, not necessary Halloween je... now also can right. I want this:

Optimus Prime Voice Charger Helmet.
Product Features * Become the mighty leader of the AUTOBOTS! * The ultimate headgear for any OPTIMUS PRIME fan, strap on this awesome helmet and rule the galaxy with awesome electronic features! * Hear conversion sounds of OPTIMUS PRIME changing from a truck to a robot and back again, or hear OPTIMUS PRIME movie battle phrases like, "I am OPTIMUS PRIME!", "The DECEPTICONS must be stopped!" * Easy-to-adjust straps allow you to fit the helmet comfortably on your head. * Adjusts to fit head sizes ages 5 through adult

So cool... I can look and sound like Optimus Prime. wooohhooo...
Found this in NST. Really funny article & the reason I want to buy this:

Mild-mannered reporter RIDZWAN A. RAHIM suddenly booms with authority when he puts on the Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet.

WHAT: OPTIMUS PRIME VOICE CHANGER HELMET
IT’S LIKE: Something for the costume party, except that you can actually sound like Optimus Prime, leader of the good guys in Transformers.
MISSING FEATURE: Won’t let you turn into a truck.
PRICE: RM169.90
AVAILABILITY: Jaya Jusco, Toys R Us. It’s everywhere.

I heard some electronic voices coming from your desk. I thought you were watching a pirated copy of the Transformers movie but when I turned around, it was Optimus Prime himself sitting at the desk.
Hah! That’s because I have this Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet from Hasbro. So now when I say “I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots”, people will believe me. I no longer sound like a mild-mannered reporter.
Yeah, I must admit I was surprised. The helmet has given you such leadership qualities. Is it heavy?
Leading a pack of robots to save the world is always a heavy responsibility.

No, I mean the helmet.
Oh. No, it’s just plastic. It has adjustable straps on the inside so anyone can wear it; from children to adults. The visors are yellow but you can see quite clearly. This is important because you don’t want to be yelling “Die, Decepticon scum!” at your mother because you thought she was your brother.
But the real reason why you’ll pay RM169.90 for this thing is the mic inside the helmet.
Speak into the mic and you’ll sound like Peter Cullen, the voice behind Optimus Prime in the original 1980s TV series, as well as the movie that’s opening tomorrow.

Sa-weet!
Ah, but the helmet probably won’t be of much help if your voice is already like Alvin of Chipmunks fame to begin with. In fact, the instruction says you should use a deep voice when talking into the mic.

So what else can the helmet do?
Apart from the voice changer, it has two other buttons. One button will spew Optimus Prime battle phrases while the other will emit realistic transformation sounds. You know, “khu-khu-khe-khe-khi!”.

Alright! So I’m set for battle. I talk like Optimus Prime, I even make transformation sounds like Optimus Prime. But can I actually turn into a truck?
A: You’ll be surprised. There are fans who like Transformers so much, they have created robot suits that will allow them to actually transform into vehicles. I’ve seen the videos on YouTube.

You’re beginning to sound like a weirdo. I meant that question to be a joke. I didn’t expect you to say yes.
Oh, and perhaps it will also help if you are actually a contortionist?

Look, can we get off the subject?
Alright, alright. But as far as I’m concerned, this helmet is good enough. My fantasy of becoming the leader of the Autobots has been fulfilled and my life is complete. The only other helmet that I have always wanted is the Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet.

Oh yeah, that’s one cool gadget as well. All the guys I know want to sound like Vader.
I’ll go one better. Not only would I sound like Vader, I’d use it to scare the postman. I would also go around saying “This is CNN”, thereby puting James Earl Jones out of business.

The Youtube clip I found is this one:

On serious side: I really want this but is too pricey for something that you just want to fool around.... Haha... any Bill Gates here that want to present me with this? =)

Travel tips - Perhentian Island

Perhentian Island is one of the many island in east coast of Malaysia in the state of Terengganu. It was divided into Perhentian Kecil (Small Perhentian) and Perhentian Besar (Big Perhentian). Both islands are next to each other and you can take boat to go there. There is no significant different between both island (according to me la) as both give you the clear blue water, white sandy beach and many snorkeling area.

Since I just come back from there, there's few tip I would like to share to those who likes to travel there with tight budget and at the same time enjoy every moment of your vacation.

Tips on traveling to Perhentian Island if you are a budget traveler:

• We can take boats to Perhentian Island at Kuala Besut jetty. How to get to Kuala Besut. If by air, take flight to Kota Bharu. From Kota Bharu, take taxi to Kuala Besut. Usually it’s around 1 hour and cost from RM50-RM60. By bus, you have two options. There’s a bus company called Mahligai that take you direct to Kuala Besut. It’s usually departs from Putra Bus Station, Kuala Lumpur at 9-9.30 pm and arrives at 5.30am. There are many other bus company but they only take you to Jerteh. From Jerteh to Kuala Besut takes about 20-30 minutes. You can take taxi (cost around Rm12-15 per cab in daytime. Not sure if it’s different on the wee hours) or bus (cost you only RM1.50 per person but the schedule is very unreliable).
• Use backpack as your luggage. This is because between the jetty to your resort in Perhentian Island, you need to change to smaller boat. May resort doesn’t have jetty and you are force to cross over the boats in the middle on the ocean. It is wise to bring backpack as it is easier. Imagine you bring the rectangular plastic luggage that have wheels, it’s heavy and you need to balance yourself with your beg at one hand to cross over the boats. Hmmm… dangerous. But don’t worry, the boatmen are very nice people, they will help you.
• The first boat departs from Kuala Besut usually at 9am and the last one at 5pm. But there’s one travel agency, Kuala Besut Travel Agency, their boats depart at 7.30 am. And their people will wait for you when you arrive at Kuala Besut at the bus stop even at 5.30am. Other travel agency only open at 8am. Including mine. Sigh.
• Don’t be afraid if you arrive at 5am coz there’s few restaurants that already open and you can hang out there. And there’s surau nearby. And there’s also parking lot that charged you on day-to-day basis. Suitable for those for drive to Kuala Besut.
• There’s a lot of resort / chalet there on the island, from the most expensive (Perhentian Island Resort) to RM 20 per night chalet. Depending on your budget, you can choose these varieties of chalet at various locations on Perhentian Kecil and Besar. The backpackers’ chalet usually is a walk-in basis with no booking service. Some resort reserves some chalet for walk-in and doesn’t open to travel agency to book. You can check out this website: www.pulauperhentian.com.my. & www.perhentianisland.com.my.
• I’ve been here twice and both trip I stayed in Flora Bay Resort which situated in Teluk Dalam, Perhentian Besar. Likes is very subjective. Some might not like it but I like this resort. First trip was 10 years ago but last month I went there, the place was still the same. Same white sandy beach. Clear blue water. What I like that the waves are not so big, very calm and you can even see a school of ikan bilis swimming by the beach. They provide many hammocks under the trees and you just can sleep by the sea in the afternoon without fearing of sunburn. The people they are friendly and they don’t disturb you.
• The thing about Teluk Dalam beach is there are many other resorts such as Everfresh, Fauna, Samudera and Arwana. So you can choose the variety of food at different restaurants. I’ve taste Flora Bay and Fauna and both are delicious. These resorts also have their own dive centre fro those who wants to scuba dive.
• Where sun screen / sun block. It’s not about getting tan or scared to get tan but to protect from sunburn. There’s one guy in our snorkeling trip got sunburn on the first trip and can’t join for the second trip. Rugi jer.
• For snorkeling trip, there are many prices on what I observed. My travel agency (Anjung Holidays Travel Agency) charged RM 35 per person per trip but at Flora Bay Resort, they charged RM45 per person per trip. However, I already checked area of the trip cover and both showed the same place, which is marine park, turtle area, shark area and spring water. I think 1 trip would be not enough especially if you go in the evening coz the turtle couldn’t be seen. I went twice and both trips were at different place and time except the shark area. The evening trip usually at 2pm and the morning trip at 10am.
• Make sure that your boatman (aka tour guide) showed you the exact place. My boatman actually swam together and brought us to the exact place to see the sharks. And some other area in the marine park where you can see a school of big fishes (a kind that size of more that half of your body). It would be a waste if he just drop you at a place without you knowing what to expect. You might end up seeing the same species of that small fish at every stop.
• To make your snorkeling fun, bring a loaf of bread. Fishes will surround you to eat the bread. The second trip we were lucky to bring the bread coz then only I felt like a part of nature. Even bigger size of fish (a size of 2 palm hands) came to enjoy your bread. They are very gentle creature. Except 1 fish, the others never bite you. Ok, maybe they might confuse your hand with the bread once a while but it was not painful. The best part is that they will stay with you for a while even after the bread finish.
• If you have the water resistant camera, this is the time to utilize it to the maximum. The view under the water was breathtaking. If you don’t have, don’t worry. You can always buy the instant camera (the one that come with the film & once finished, you can’t refill the film). It’s around RM37-40 for 27 shots. Ok lah… The pictures were acceptable la. (For example: You can see my previous post where there’s picture of swimming with fishes. That pictures were using that camera.)
• It’s advisable to bought your mineral water before going to island. The price was twice than normal. The large mineral water (1.5L) is enough la per person to carry & drink at least for 1 and half day. Bring biscuits & snacks coz everything there was expensive.
• However, the food there was not very expensive. Not the certain point of too expensive that it’s not acceptable. The range was ok and asked for seafood coz their seafood was fresh.
• Don’t go to Kuala Besut and Jerteh on Friday. All shops closed except grocery shop. Enough said.
• Lastly, just enjoy the every moment. Life might not as exciting as in the city but it’s very relaxing and calm. The people over there are very friendly and they did everything is no rush manner. (That’s explains the unreliable bus schedule). After 3 days there, I was also infected with that no rush symptoms. It was nice to live in place where you don’t have to rush from one place to another place. (And it’s good for your heart too. Hehe)

Can’t think of anything to add. If there are any more tips, I will update it. Btw, those who has any tips on Perhentian Island, please add at the comment.

Note: Instead of just describing of fun I have and what I did, it’s better for me to do this travel tips thingy right. At least can give some points to those who interested of going that place.

Secret Escapade

It's time to slow down.
To remind me that life needs to be balance between work and rest.
To enjoy the beautiful nature that Allah has given to our country.
To watch days went by slowly.To enjoy life with the loved ones.
To be part of the nature and appreciate their existence in our life.
To just lay down and smell the salted water.
And buried legs in pearl white sand.It was the most wonderful 3 days I ever had.

Gift de Mazu - the best online gift shop!!

Dear families and friends,

I would like to introduce to you my online gift shop. We have a very exclusive range of gift at affordable price. Please visit and shop at Giftdemazu. Or click at the right sidebar to directly link to Gift de Mazu.

Gift de Mazu is a partnership between me and Zainal. It's our baby and we can assure you that our products are in very good condition. We accept credit cards, bank transfer (Maybank & CIMB) and Paypal.

Some of our products:

A decorative frame that design personally and message can be customized inside the frame for free... So this would be the only one of it's kind in the world!!

Table organiser.... Original Thermos mug with clock and stationary holder. Great gift for father, husband or your boss...

Lockets with necklace for that loving couple so each of you will get half each. Is it cool and romantic... Btw, it's a silver layered on real Washington quarter...

For more products, please visit Gift de Mazu now...

Caution: Egotism on the run

The lack of update caused by the lack of any interesting activity to write on and the fact that my office pc has to be sent for repair. So I have to share the work station with others. It felt like I’m not sharing but conquering the work station. Hehe. But this work station is next to printer where everybody will look at my monitor every time they want to retrieve their printed document. So no fooling around and it’s kind of boring.

This morning while trying to find a document, I stumbled across a justification on recruitment. Being a curious cat, I obviously opened a file that for my position. (Don’t worry, this is not P&C I guess, since it was put in the general folder which can be access to everybody.) Now I know that there’s few other applicant for this position. They have short listed 2 persons including me. Sangat bangga ok.

Then there’s a review how am I as a person from the eyes of interviewer which really really made my day today. Seriously I can’t believe that I was that good according to the person who just meet me and interviewed me for 1 and half hours. But the proudest moment was this part: the only statement in ‘Treat’ area was “May be easily employed by others”. I was like WOW!!!! Easily employed by others? Tonight, I can sleep with a huge smile.

Suddenly I have this feeling of doing my job extra good. To prove to the peoples that hire me that I’m what they think when they interviewed me before. To prove that they chose the right one and they will not regret of having me joining their team. Wow, I’m so full of energy and inspiration. (I don’t know how long this motivation will last.).

Since, I’m so inspired, I better stop now and indulge myself with the world of pharmaceutical engineering….

Ps: Excuse me if you find yourself in the verge of puking. Haahaahaha.

MC every month

Lately my immune system is not in very condition. I noticed that every month I will get fever. Not the serious type one but something that you can get at least 1 day MC la. Always the same symptoms; sore throat, runny nose or blocked nose, slight fever, ache all over the body and headache. Is there something that not balance in my diet? I eat a bar of oat every morning which is good to reduce cholesterol right. I try to eat my greens with every meal. Additional supplement is only taken when I can remember (I did my own vitamin C... hehe.. (masa untuk berlagak jap) which is usually 3-4 times a week. So what's wrong.

To think that I work hard till night, that's not possible. I'm not that workaholic okay. Oh ya, I did exercise. Ok once. Just started last week. See, when I started exercising last week, this week I got fever. Like today ok. It started yesterday when I was shivering at office and at the same time running up and down to get my documents ready. Today, I just flat on bed. Maybe I should start exercising twice a week and we see how that's go.

Or maybe somebody has a good supplement to recommend?

He's turn to turn 24

I fell in love when I first knew him. And that was 10 years ago. He's one of my closest friend that I shared many secrets. He's someone who cheered my life everyday. Then he was transferred to another school and somehow fate wants us to be friend and never lost contact. Funny thing about that decade where Friendster hasn't been created, I never met him and I don't know that he was growing so fast. But he never missed my birthday and I would always get a plush toy on my birthday. Who would have thought that emails and phone calls friendship has turned something more. 5 years after that we become couple and still going strong.

He's someone who would help his family and friends witout any complain which totally opposite of me. He's very understanding and very very patient with me. Something that very hard to do if you know me. He's very independent and very good with people. He's one of the closest people in my life. Every joy, pain and secret was shared with him.

Today he turned 24 years old. 10 days younger than me but he was way matured than me emotionally. I love him very much. I love his sense of humour. I love the way he take care of me. I love the way he shows me love. I love the way he taught me a lot of thing about life. I love his hardwork on our site. I love his love to animals. I love the way he does everything he does. I love everything about him.

Like someone quote,
"He's not perfect but he's perfect for me" and "He not everything but everything mean nothing without him."

So sayang, Happy 24th Birthday. May Allah bless every aspect of you life and hope your life will get better and success will come your ways... I believe in you.

xoxo,
Munm

Two events

Last Friday on May 4th, I turned 24. In this 24 years of living in this world, I still don't know what I want in life. I know what I want but when it's gonna happen and what I do to make happen or more precisely if it's gonna happen is something that I don't know.

I know I want to do master but not in Biomedical Engineering obviously, but something that combine business and engineering. I want to take up course in arts. I love arts and the fact my parents didn't let me take architecture once upon a time ago is not going to decrease my love to arts. I want to study in other country. I don't want to continue study in Malaysia. I want to experience living somewhere else and challenged myself of surviving it there.

On short term plan, I want a studio apartment to live by myself. I don't want to live at others house and treat live a penyemak. I will stay in this company the longest 1 and half year. This is not what I want in life. Waking up in the morning feeling hatred and loathed at my own job and boss. I don't feel any satisfaction or even I don't know what I'm doing in this company. I don't shine coz I don't have the light to shine. After 7 months here, I still couldn't figure out a single thing about drugs.

On the other note, last monday which is May 7th was me and Zainal 5th year anniversary. Five years is quite long time for unmarried couple right. We've been through many stages of our live when we were together.

Five years is a long time to get to know with each other. We know what each other will say after we said something. We know what each othet likes and dislikes. We know each other family and friends.

But I discovered that there's a lot that we don't know about each other. We don't know how each other feel if we said something. We don't know each how each other feel with our actions. We don't know how to react when one person fell sick. We don't know how to put our interest aside when one was in pain. We don't know how to pujuk when one is merajuk. We don't know how to give massage to one's when one is in pain. (but we know how to give one when we know we'll get something after that). We don't know how to keep our promise to each other when something better comes after that. (or maybe we thought that he/she will understand it since we've been together for so long). We don't know that when one's in pain, one's doesn't want anything but a company to stay by one's side through one's pain. We don't know how to tolerate each other different lifestyle status.

Yeah, there's a lot we don't know about each other.

Everybody's hurt somebody before

Everybody's been hurt by somebody before

You can change but you will always come back for more

Its a game and we are all just victims of love.

Don't try to fight it, victims of love

You can't decide it, victims of love, victims of love

-Victims of love by Good Charlotte

Don't go to Bun's SD Accesories Workshop!!!!

I always hate going to the car workshop. Those people there think that because we, women don't know much about car, so we can be cheated easily. So when a friend of mine open his own workshop, I was quite happy coz at least I can trust my friend.

But after 2 times services at his shop, my car suddenly has jammed it's brake. As usual, I called him to tow my car and repaired whatever it need to be repaired. Today, after phone call from him telling that I can take my car, I found out that the total was RM 554! For heaven's sake what the hell he did to my car that I need to pay that amount. Last month I just had a major service to that car and it cost RM500 too. I was bloody mad okay.

Then when I reached there with Zainal, we looked that 'jam' body pump of the brake that cost RM285. I looked at the bill at it said that he repaired the kit too which cost RM95 (later I fpund out from Zainal's friend that supply Proton spare parts that it was cost only RM45). And the labour changes increased to RM65 (last month was RM60 which is quite expensive too).

At that moment, me, someone who hardly get mad to strangers, just couldn't hold my anger. I straight said to his face that why every month I came to this shop, the labour charges keep increasing. Zainal was saying that the repair kit was usually around RM50. When he heard that, he just kept quiet like he knew that he was caught. After some hassling, he 'discounted' to RM500 only. Imagine if I just keep quiet and pay the stated amount? Next time he just increases the labour changes or whatever things again.

I really pissed of with him. I never knew him that well at school because he was the 'budak-budak bermasalah' back then. Yeah, some habit is hard to die isn't it. If you are SMKSJ, you know who I'm talking about.

In the midst of angriness, he offered a membership card to his shop with annual fees of R80. Kepala hotak kau orang nak amik membership tu. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, you think I'm that stupid to let that happen? I will not go to his shop anymore.

I really hate people that asking their friends to come to their shop to 'help' them la, but the end they the one that cheated us straight to our own face. I will never forgive him for that. The worst part was he said something like it was bad luck this thing happened to me coz this problem rarely happen. Yeah, my bad luck la you cheating ass.

If a unknown shop cheat me, I might not that angry okay. Because dah kena pun. But for somewhere that I've come regularly and also someone that I know (I even praised him to my family), that was a big fat tight slap to my face okay.

At eve of my 24th birthday, I was freaking mad and broke another RM500 for the second month.

Good Charlotte weekend

It has been long since I updated this blog. It's always the same reason, nothing to write and I was not feeling very well last week that lead to 2 days of MC. But last Friday I was shocked to received this:

Waaaahhh.... 4 tickets to MTV Live Good Charlotte. I hardly joined any contest and when I join this, I don't expect to win. But... I did. Suddenly all the unwellness just disappeared. That Saturday I was on the best behaviour. Woke up early, eat breakfast and ate my medicine at specific time (which I should do everyday).

That evening went to Bukit Jalil with Zainal, Naqib and his friend. Luckily Naqib met his friends there, so we parted. It was drizzling for a while but thank God it stop after that. Then met Kamil and Jet and Kamil's sis there too. The area was divided into 2. The front stage was reserved for so-called VIP which is DiGi's Fuiyooh customers and the back part was for us the non-DiGi people. This DiGi's Fuiyooh thing really annoying with their constant screaming Fuiyoh at the top of their lung at every 10 minutes.

The show started with 3 local artists which was One Buck Short, Estranged and Lo. Then the real deal started. It was amazing... I knew all of their song. Yes, I was shocled myself. I tried not to scream so much for the sake of my sore throat. So I replaced my screaming mood with jumping up and down and swaying to their song... it was really fun...

It was really fun night for few reasons:
1) The music was great. Good Charlotte was great. Never been their greatest fan but I love their songs
2) Free tickets.
3) Was admitted into the VIP area which is in the front stage before the Good Charlotte performed. Huhu... No need to be DiGi's customer la.
4) Free drinks, thanks to the abang security. At least I won't blackout in the sea of people there.

5) Free goodies from DiGi... apperantly this one DiGi staff was 'berkenan' with me that he tried to give at least something to me...haha... (which pissed Zainal off)

While waiting the show to start...

View that soon will changed with 10 000 people (what the newspaper said la) packed this area.

Joel Madden... (blur picture)... Zainal got a very nice video but malasla nak post kat sini...

How Does Depression Manifest Itself ?

Found this in this site: http://suicidal.com/depressionfaq/q5.html

Loss of Normalcy

Loss of the comfortable, predictable, familiar, secure, self
Loss of drive, direction, power, control
Loss of energy, joy, humor, love, happiness

Replaced With Pain and Negativity

You can't remember what it was ever like to feel normal.

You can't remember a time when you weren't like this.

You feel worthless and that your life has no meaning.

You can't tell anyone how you feel. You hold it in. You try to act normal.

It's painful to be with people. You feel that you don't belong. Everything they say hurts.

If you tell someone, you will cry. You will feel foolish, they wouldn't understand.

They don't care or understand. You feel they can't help you anyway.

You feel that no one and nothing can help you.

You feel "hopelessness to infinity"

Painful just to exist. Everything hurts. Painful to try to do anything, take a walk, fix dinner, wash the dishes, take a bath.

You feel tired. Just standing up you are tired. You feel the pull of Gravity weighing you down.

What's the point of living when you just want to die ? Why bother, why force it ?Who cares
anyway.

You wonder what is going to happen to you. If only you could just close your eyes and disappear.

If only you could just go to sleep and never wake up.

You cry out for help when you are alone. You want to scream, wail, cry out to God or the Universe to help you... or to let you die.

Suicidal Thoughts overwhelm you with excruciating pain, urging, compelling you toward death.

Death calls to you, wordlessly from within darkness, the blackness, pulling you, drawing you in.

You feel like you are dying.

Help your friends if they have this symptoms or they told you something disturbing. A simple gesture might change their life... you never know right.

Pharmaniaga Hats Off Night

How could I forgot to post about one of the biggest event in Pharmaniaga? What else than Pharmaniaga Hats Off Night 2006. Was happening last week at Sheraton Subang. It was okay but the fact that our table was next to the camera and cause us some awkward moment of trying to be civilised and at the same time enjoying our food. However, we did it with flying colours (say me coz I was hidden by my hat, thank God for that). Hehe...

Vince and Misha Omar performed that night. Vince did some funny (or I must say stoopid) imitation of MTV video clips with the camera. Well, thank God, he's still good looking in person, so he was forgiven. Misha was ok la. Food was okay too, typical chinese food.

The best part of that day was we can head home early that day which was 3pm (company give us some time to prepare ourselves for that big night...hehe). And the door gift was unexpected. Everyone got a pair of watch (his & hers) and beatifully packed in smart looking box. Impressive...

Well, what is word without pictures right. Here goes...

Me and lovely Li Vern

The R&D people.. (minus Siew Lei from QA).

Misha & Vince (gambar gelap pasal taknak pergi depan amik gambar. Taknak jadi groupies la konon)

With my ex-classmate kat UM, Jamal, now working for Pharmaniaga Biomed

This is me

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

tarik rambut

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...............................

This thing really test my patience....

Busy weekend

I think last weekend was so short. It's like so many things happened that I didn't have enough time for myself (read: sleep, sleep, sleep). Went to MATTA Fair last Friday night with Zainal and thank God, the people there was not THAT full. At least still can breath. We were walking so fast coz we only had 1 hour to see all the booth. Apperently for scuba diving package, the deal was the same even without the fair. At that moment I wish I won some money that I can indulge myself with holidays. I'm not asking so much, 5K would be enough. Hehe....

Then, we went scouting Ritz Carlton coz we had workshop the next day (ehem, ehem, baru ada kelas gi workshop kat Ritz Carlton). But end up stucked in the jam for I don't know many hours. And locating Rotz Carlton was not a piece of cake. Apparently, only those who know it only know that place. Normal people (like me, that don't need a butler to serve personally) would probably couldn't find it. HA..

The next whole day was filled with marketing strategy and delicious-but-tiny Ritz Carlton food. Seriously, the food was delicious. If only they serve more.... (wishful thinking again). That night we watched 300. People, this is one of the best movie this year. Seriously. If you don't like all the gross fighting scene, there's always meaty muscular and oh-what-a-delicious-body Spartan men to ogle with. Hehe...

Lastly, Sunday was the only day to malas-malas. Oh.... can't wait for the next weekend.

Peace

There's no peace in my heart lately.

Just pure unsafisfaction and hatred.

Everything seems very wrong.

I want everything but nothing obtained.

Ya Allah, please give me mercy and grant me some peaceful in my heart. Amiin...

Happy or meaningful?

Last week on Heroes (that episode 18 for those Malaysian that illegally download it), there's one part where Linderman asked Nathan Petrelli (okay, I'm not going to be a spoiler to those who faithfully follow the story at Astro) if he wants a happy life or meaningful life. Coz he said that you can't have both. If you want happy life, you enjoy your present without worrying about the past and future. If you choose meaningful life, you have to worry about your past and future.

Can we have both? Meaningful and happy. I think we can. If you lead a meaningful life, at your deathbed, you know you have life to the fullest and you'll be happy. If you lead a happy life, your life must be meaningful, right. I mean how come you live a happy meaningless life, do you get what I mean.

On the other hand, there are some people who live a meaningful life without being happy, right. He's become someone important in the country and society but at the same time he's too busy to take time and smell the roses. He missed out all the important people in his life. He's life is meaningful; contributing to country, but does he happy? Maybe not.

But I don't think there's people who is happy but has meaningless life. Nobody lead meaningless life except all that Mat Fit la. But then, they're not happy right. They depend on drugs to be happy (or false happy). Even you just a gardener or whatever, you are someone to somebody. You are somebody's father, mother, uncle, auntie, son, daughter, cousin, friend, wife or husband. So your life is meaningful. Every human Allah made is meaningful. But to find who is happy or not is different story.

So, what do you think? Do you think you are happy? I know you have meaningful life.

Hate me

The thing I learned when you are in a relationship is you should be happy if the other half is happy too even though that happiness does not include me. But why it's hard for me to get it into my head and apply that on my daily life is something I don't understand. Am I too selfish? Am I thinking that the world revolves around me?

Many times I have gone over the limit and ignore that important rule. Therefore, I wanted to apologize from the bottom of my heart what have I done last night and also before this.

But I have learned not to run from my problem and I did it. (Pat on back for myself). At that precise moment, I was thinking of packing my stuff and just walk out of that door. But I kept thinking that if I started doing it today, in future I might repeat it. Then I'll be the wife who run to her parents house because of some stupid argument. And I'll be sending my kids away coz I can't cope with them. No, I'm not going to be like that. I'll be hanging there even it's rip my heart out. I'll face the problem even though I don't know how to solve it. If I failed, at least I can say I've tried.

It was harder to do it than saying it. How you control every bit of your sanity and patience when the other person was totally ignoring even when you are next to them. How inside of you was planning every destructive plan that possible in that particular room but outside you were acting cool. This is not even considering that the other half of your brain was cursing you coz causing this misery. And one point, when all the anger turn to depression, all you want to do is to hurt yourself in return.

Hmm...I'm kinda hate myself right now.

Uncertainty of future

Have you ever want something badly that you patiently work hard and pray that finally archieved that? Then after achieving that, you feel that it's the best thing ever happen, even though there's some cons but overall it's bearable. After that you think that you need to move on to the next step and ready to fully embrace the choice. Suddenly you started to think.

Is it the right choice?
Should I wait maybe a little bit longer then something better come?
What if this IS the best and coz I ditched it, I'll lose it forever?
What if I move on with this, and suddenly better one arrive and I have to let the better one go coz I already commit to the first one?

The uncertainty of future is scary...
Sometimes I wish I can just relax and be happy with what I have right now.
Sometimes I wish I can work harder to get more money coz I want to try many new experience that needs money... like scuba diving, water rafting, absailing at waterfalls....

Ok, breathe in mun... and breathe out....
I'm trying to stop worrying stuff in the future. And trying to stop pressuring myself to please everybody and stop worrying about comparing myself with others. Yes, I'm very competitive. and it's tiring.

I know today at work that

I hate the smell of pine oil. It smells like minyak angin cap kapak but 10 times worst.

I know that by the third experiment using pine oil, I got migraine.

...because of that migraine, I know where is first aid room.

I know that after 10 minutes of searching Synflex at first aid room, Kak ZK think that it might be stolen.

....and Synflex is my only hope to reduce my migraine.

Good news is that my boss keep a stock of it too.

Bad news is that he needs that too for his migraine.

I also know that I'm going to be transferred to another department.

Good news that it's not confirmed yet.

Bad news is that if it's confirmed, I'm gonna miss working in R&D and miss a lots of parties.

I also know that I don't know what to write when I got my migraine.

.....even though I have a whole complete script in my head when I'm not suffering it.

Wishful thinking

What do you think of marrying at early age? Not an option right. A lot of people say you must be stable first than only you can think about getting married... bla..bla...bla..

Imagine this, when you married at an early age when you are a nobody in this world and together both of you struggle and work hard until you are an important person in the society. Would the taste of success would become sweeter? Together both of you trying to make ends to survive, starting online business to get extra money and rent a room coz can't afford a house. Then together both of you rise, gain more money and reputation... and finally, 50 years ahead, when both of you sitting side by side beside the pool with backgroud of posh mansion own by you on top of the hill overlook the city while you rest your head on his shoulder... you can say, "Remember honey when we were young, we were struggling to live but together we as a team, we finally made it." Then you can say that you have found your soulmate and at that moment, if God say that it's time for you to go, you won't be afraid coz you know that both of you can meet again in heaven perhaps...InsyaAllah. Or when he tell you that he's getting new wife when both of you already succeed, you can tell him (or reminisce the old stories to make him realize how both of you has struggle together and how he would ruin the perfect team if another member join in. He might at least would think twice if not cancel the plan. This actually works according to a friend of mine. Hehe).

But what if both of you already stable and successful when you get married, then you will think that you can live without him. You don't need each other to live. Marriage was like to fulfill you sexual needs, society expection and bore some children. He came when you are successful and might leave you when you become useless. When he took another wife or berpoya-poya with other girls, he would say that that's his money, he can do anything he want with it. You have no right in his property. On the bright side, at least when you divorce, there's no harta sepencarian. It's either his or hers.

So.... the conclusion of all this wishful thinking is that.... well, malu la nak cakap. Nevermind la... no conclusion. Oh yes, at least you will prevent more sins right.

Talk about wedding, congratulations to Yon who get married last Sunday... Semoga bahagia sehingga akhir hayat (not only until anak cucu ok...)

**Still can't stop grinning**

To the couple out there, Happy Lover's Day... No matter how hard you try to ignore that day, you can't. The celebration has become too commercialized by business people.

So we did opposite other people do. Instead of having lavish dinner at some posh restaurant that need to be reserved 3 days before which come with pricey tag, we cooked at home. That's something that we never did together. The whole point of valentine is to be together. So we bought all our preparation together and cooked together. That way, it's more economical and less stress (think of jam, parking space and slow waiter)

That was one wonderful night. Having dinner beside our 4 little fish, eating the food we prepared ourselves with candles (a must!), sparkling grape juice and together with your loved one.... what a girl can ask more?

But I felt bad for not giving him anything except secret recipe's cheese cake without writing my heart out. He gave me this beautiful card with oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-cair kind of message which written by him.

Well sayang, Thank you for wonderful 4 years and 9 months.... (the continual of the message will be private & confidential)

Well, people out there, jangan la jealous.... (grinning from ear to ear)

I see my bed today

I had terrible morning today, physically. Last night I played 2 rounds of badminton with Zainal and gang after few months of not exercising. As the result, my arms and legs ached. The worst part was the blister at my index finger of my right hand. This is the result of wrong handling of the badminton racket. I don't know why I hold the racket like that. It was the way I always do ever since I started playing badminton. Back then, I played quite often, so the skin can handle it but after how many years of not playing, even after 15 minutes of playing badminton, the skin at that area started to peel. It hurts.... isk isk isk.

For some reason I don't know my tongue also hurt. I couldn't remember if I accidentally bit it yesterday or if it's an ulcer. I hardly get any ulcer in my life compared to some people who will get one if they're stressed. My body works react differently if I'm stress. Not that I going to discuss it here.

In addition to all this problem, I have runny nose. I usually get this when I take cold shower in the morning. If it warm shower, then this problem won't happen. But since I moved to Kajang, I thought this problem was over coz even after cold shower, I didn't get runny nose. But these few weeks, I started had this problem again. Haih... It feel so uncomfortable. If this happened until afternoon, my eyes will look droopy which is so not attractive okay...

Well, I think I need to exercise more so that next time my body can become healthier, stronger and ready for any challenge (wow, very ambitious statement. Hehe...)

The tortoise crawling down the street...

Have you ever in the situation that everything around you become slow when you need to go fast? I mean, you need to get to another place in 1 hour and between that 1 hour you need to eat your dinner, change your clothes etc. And that moment too, the nasi lemak seller was packing the nasi lemak in the slowest mode he could do. And you were not the only customer there. In front of you there were 7 hungry people waiting patiently for that turtle to pack their nasi lemak. At that moment you felt that if this is lawless country, you'll be strangle him. Huh.

Then you go to the place that you need to go and found that you were already late and have to postpone your plan to tomorrow. Since you have nothing to do, you went shopping. But you realized that you have no money. Fret not, ATM just nearby and there's only 1 customer in front of you. You stand behind him smilling face waiting for your turn. Then you realized that the person in front of you are reading (more like spelling, I guess) every words at the screen before slowly push the button. Finally after few minutes, he finished withdrawing his money. But wait, he's pulling out another card. And another... Thank God he has only 3 ATM cards... Cik abang, tak cukup lagi tu... Credit card tak nak cuba? MyKad pulak ke?

Walking happily with money now, you decided to buy some food. After walking around the supermarket, you only can find 1 food that you actually want to buy (food that you WANT to eat not buy would be a lot la kan). You queuing in the express lane where 8 items or less were allowed. But then a person in front of you have a trolley full of things which was so obvious more than 8 items la. When came his turn, dengan muka selamba dia keluarkan barang dia. The cashier refused to accept and hooray to you, he cut down half of his item. Hahaahahahahaah. Padan muka...

So what would you do if this day happen to you? All I can said is, patience is the key.

My camera

Finally I got this....Not the manual book only, it comes with camera of course. Huhu...

Supposed to be secret from my parents, but just now my dad just found out because Naqib was sesuka hati took the picture of this..

For you info, this is the view from the verandah of my house.

And I can do this...

Welcome to my crib!!

These 3 days were full with crazy pictures like these:

Naqib rase dier nampak kurus dalam gambar ni. Ye ke? Ape-ape je la...

Flora Fest and 2 goldfishes

Last weekend Zainal and I went to Flora Fest 2007 at Putrajaya. The parade was at 8am but we purposely missed it coz we just want to see the floating car. Actually it's not 'we', it was more like 'me'. At 2.30pm at Putrajaya, it was not agood idea to be outdoor. But by doing my usual pleaaassee... big eyes and alah, kita tengok kejap je, we finally inside the big air-con tent. Thank God for the air-con. Here's some pictures. Oh yes, we met Mai and Wira. And because of the unplanned visit, I didn't have camera with me and used only my 2.0 mp phone camera. Hmmm... the pictures were not so nice la. Anyway, here goes my fav.
Sabah was the best one I think. Kedah was so serabut and Perlis was the smallest. Others were so-so.

Alamak. Gambar dengan Mai tak clear la. The last time I saw her was on our convo day (ye ke? or at her sister's engagement? Lupa lak). How time flies...

Oh yes, we bought another 2 fishes; 2 goldfishes named Borat and Buran, at the Flora Fest. I know it's supposed to be where you buy flowers but we can't resist to be these 2 beautiful creature. Now we have Borat, Buran, Cumi, Ciki and Ciko. Cikang died 3 days ago.Borat and Buran think they are next DBKL fish. But at a positive side, they actually clean up the aquarium.

Finally I have pets again. My life felt missing if I don't have an animal to be take care of. (But this one Zainal will take care of them).
And I love watching them swimming around.
I felt peace and calm.

Monday Blues

Something funny happened this morning. One guy fell asleep while waiting the traffic lights turned green. At first I was wondering why he hasn't moved. Then when I drove pass him, I saw he was sleeping. Must be very tiring watching Arsenal beat Man Utd. Hehe.. Pity that fellow. All the cars and lorries behind him kept honking when he's happily dreaming in La-la Land. I don't know if he ever wake up. Thank God I'm not in that lane. If yes, it won't be a funny story anymore. Huhu.

I can't sleep last night, so I made a promise to myself. I promised myself not to mention the M-word to anybody from today onwards. What going to happen will happen. For now, I would enjoy and appreciate life as it is. Nothing I can change though.

And yes, we are thinking of opening a business. Hmmm.... must prepare the business plan first, then we can start it by February? InsyaAllah. Any ideas for a company name?

Oh, we got ourself 4 pairs of fish last Saturday. Cute, colourful and small fish. We promised to take care our little pets together. So he brought them home first. By this morning, 2 fishes already died. Natural causes or human error? Hehe... Just hope I still can take care of them by the end of this week.

Desperately in Love

All I want is to be with him. Is that one fact that too hard to swallow? I need to be with him everyday. Being with him complete my day. It's not that I can't live without him; I can, but my day wouldn't be so satisfying.

It's like eating rice. You don't die if you don't eat rice. You still can eat bread, mee or anything else. But after a week or so, you crazed for rice. Eating rice make your whole meal complete.

Same here. He's not my life machine support. I still can breath, still can eat, still can go to work but the air would feel so damp, the food don't taste that good and works stress me out.

So why you need hundreds of reason to be together. One reason is sufficient enough for me. I don't need colourful resume to be king of my heart. I'm not a multinational seeking employees. I just want to be with someone whom I love and love me back.

How I wish life would be that simple. Then I would be one happy woman.

Reason to buy

Marriage is not something that can be done easily. It's not only unite 2 people, but also 2 families. It also become the base of the birth of future souls. Therefore, a suitable partner and family should be choosed. I remember my uncle used to tell me that you are not marrying one person only but the whole family as well. So marrying in the 30-minutes Las Vegas chapel or Siam does not an option for me (even though I always think about doing that lately... in Siam of course. Daripada pergi Las Vegas, baik kahwin elok-elok kat sini, lagi murah..Hah).

So marriage might not so imminent for me (at this hours at least). This is because both families seem like they still wouldn't let go their only daughter and their last son. However, this is not what my friends think... check this out. A poll for who's going to get married soon (after Yon obviously). I won! I won!!! I love winning!!!
Since I have no plan when I'm going to get married, so why deprived myself from buying stuff that I really want? Why should I save money for something that I don't know when it's going to happen? Maybe next month, next year or maybe next 10 years? Who knows????

Therefore, I'm going to add my gadgets collection with this sleek Kodak V705 digital camera. With 7.2 mega pixels, dual lens and others fantastic features, I'm going to get it when the next paycheck in. I'm so not patient to wait for this new camera.

No mood

For one thing, I felt like going home. It just that I don't have any mood to do any job. Yes, I admit. That time of the month again. Hehe... Get easily irritated with everything. Haih.

Tried to call someone for a lunch date but no answer. I tried to be positive and hope that he's sleeping. That's the one valid reason I will accept. Haha...

Beginning of the year means new calender. Suppliers send a lot of calender, planner and diary. I got one calender and one diary. Enough for me. But I already wrote something on that calender and then my boss give me another calender that I like. At least no pictures of pharma products... Bosan ok. But, trying not to be greedy here, I gave to someone else. At one time people will lelong diaries and calender. Who want this, who want that.

Well, the first person who received diaries has a previlege of chossing the best diary. People will come to her table and said, Eh, what a nice planner. Got another one? Huhu... sorry, the early bird gets the worm.

Arghhh... I want to go home and sleep. I want to sleep in his cuddle.....

2006 highlights

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidil Adha and the day after tomorrow is New Year's Day. So Selamat Hari Raya and Happy New Year!!!

Since 2006 will end in less than 26 hours, I would like to take this opportunity to highlight the events that occurred in 2006 for me. Let see...

1. I finally graduated from my tertiary level of education. And that's mean, I already left the school for 6 years... wow.
2. Went to various job interview (yes, various kind of jobs)
   
3. I get my first job and left it after 3 weeks...
4. I get my second job and still holding on...
5. Went to various exams (PTD- twice & fail, TOEFL, GRE)
6. First time celebrated my birthday with my friends in UM, yes, after 4 years... well, better late than never kan.
7. Gain weight, after 9 years of stagnant weight. (ho ho, be careful what you wish. Skrang bermasalah la plak nak maintain weight. Dulu susah sangat nak naikkan weight).
8. Improve my relationship with Zainal.
9. Latest addition: only few days ago, my parents finally let me staying at a rented house in Bangi. Finally, no more 45 minutes of driving to work + everyday overspeed (have to ok, if not I'll be late).
10. Continous harmonious relationship in the family... which is the greatest gift of all time.
11. Oh yes, I got a new niece... Adriana si comel dan garang.

Well.... hopefully 2007 brings more happiness in me... like abah's promise & a wedding bell perhaps? Anyway, let's hope the best for everyone.

C*I*N*T*A

I know this is old news and a lot of bloggers have been writing about this movie. But I love this movie. Cinta show that the new era of Malaysian film has come and the audiance will not feed with Yusof Haslam & Razak Mohideen movie only. No offence to them, but I think that their movies are not worth my 2 hours and 10 bucks to see them.

I watched this movie twice. New record for me. For someone who hardly (I can count with 1 hand) watched Malay movie, this is something big ok. The first one was with my girlfriends 3 days after opening and the second one with my boyfriend just last week. I never thought that it would be that good. What do you axpect from a film that advertised in the radio with an abstract like this: " Majalah ni tak boleh jual." " Ia boleh jual kalau diletakkan di sini." Ape ni? So I was following my girls' idea of watching it. At the end, I was the one who cried a bucket. Sampai lebam mata tu. But it's not fair coz the others were trying to make sure they didn't ruin their make up. But I just couldn't hold my tears, boleh kena migrain you know. Thank God I didn't wear mascara that day or people will mistake me for WWF panda.

The movie showed different kinds of love. It showed that love is universal. It can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any stage of life. Initially I thought it would turn out to be like Love Actually but I think this is better. Maybe the idea was not so original, but how the director connected all 5 stories was brilliant. The cinematography was fantastic. Even Kampung Abdullah Hukum looked beautiful in that story and it showed many faces of Kuala Lumpur.

I'm so into this movie until Zainal download the whole soundtrack album for me. I love all the songs especially Without You by Same Same & Jac. Sampai 2-3 kali la repeat tu. Ntah ape2 la plak bila fikir balik. Hehe.

Well, those who hasn't watch it, please go and watch it with your love ones. It's worth it. Like Ashlee Simpson said, "L O L O V E".

I want to run away

Have you ever thought of running away without telling anyone for awhile? Maybe a week or two.
Just to clear your head and escape from your problems.
Just to escape from everybody's rules and give yourself a freedom that you always wanted.

I wish I had the guts to do that. Really. I wish...

But then, this face popped out in my head...

On second thought, maybe I should bring him too.
Coz he makes my day worth living and take away all my pains.
He's the only one who actually listen to what I say and what I feel.
I need him.

I had a nightmare .... and you were in it

I dreamed that you left me last night. You left me for my friend that just come back from UK. You ignore me totally and was with her all the time. I was fine the first 3 days but the fourth day, I was livid. I was hoping you came back to me. But after waiting, I realized you weren't coming back. I asked you for the reasons but you just ignored me. You made me looked like a fool. I was begging you to at least tell me the reasons so that I understand my mistake. After few days you finally spoke up. I wish I never asked that question. You told me that you never love me anyway. You said I was selfish, ignorant and act like I was too good to be true. It just broke my heart completely. You said that she's the one you love. I remembered your face and how you said it. It was so cruel. It felt like you have no regret about this whole thing.

I woke up and I cried. I immediately took wudhu' and performed solat. I pray that this will not going to happen. I know how hard it is coz I've experinced once. I don't want to feel that feeling again. I pray that our relationship will stay strong until the end of our life with love and happiness surround us.

I've been dreaming weird stuff lately. I must wash my feet really hard and double my doa sebelum tidur this times.

Destress

One fine evening at one delicious open house, Suraya asked me how I destressed or chilled out after working. She asked me how the working life and how I spend my day? She's going to start working next month and trying to imagine working life. Well, it was tough questions I might say.

First of all, I just worked for like what, 1 and the half month. And the 1 month before this can be considered too. Working at previous job before lead me to very stressful life. I didn't like the job, I didn't like the journey and I ended up MCs all the time. (Not all the time la, but considering the 1 month timeframe, it was a lot ok. I easily stressed out and popping my migrain pills more than ever.

Now, at this current work, with the same duration with previous job, I found myself enjoying whatever I did. Even though I have to drive 45 minutes each way, I filled my journey with the music, thanks to Hitz.fm and Fly fm. Sometimes (more like always) I would dropped by at the well, my haven, to meet my sweetheart to destress myself. Well, the only stress I got right now is the angry phone calls from my mom for coming back late. Hehe.

Sometimes I wish I can stay nearer to Bangi so that I can wake up a lit bit late without having to drive like mad woman to compensate the extra sleep time just to be on time at work. Yeah, I wish mom would approved her lil and only (now, a grown up) daughter to live by her own and learn to be independent.

My weekends is reserved for my loves one (family, lover and friends - even though it seems like more towards the lover). And I do realize that weekend always pass me by with a blink of eyes. Without you realize, it's Monday again.

So Suraya, how I destress my life? I sleep and sleep and sleep. (Caution: sweet food can make you fat. So when stress, don't eat, sleep).

Freedom of being me

There's something in my life that always bug me. The ability for me to live my life independently without having other people control it. No matter how hard I try to do this, there's always somebody who try to control me. Even though I already eliminated one person, another person would eventually turn to be my control freak.

In return, I missed out all the money-can't-buy experience like camping in schooling years, duduk rumah sewa, field trips and so much more.

When I reflected my life, in a way I can conclude that even though people give you money to make you happy, they can't give you satisfaction, experience, freedom and self-esteem. They make themselves loved by their money, not their virtue and own self. Sad eh.

I wish I can turn back time and do all the things I miss. But it's impossible. All I can do right now, change my life and gain back my freedom. Try to do things that I missed out. Like camping.

But first of all, how am I going to convince them to give me my freedom to optimize my life?

Get well soon

How do you feel when your other half is sick and alone right now and you are 30 minutes away from him and can't do anything about him except giving a lot of bullshit advices on how to get well (and you know that it won't work because you are not a doctor ok). I felt like a poo. How I wish I am by his side right now nursing and just be there for him. Hmmm... hold on darling. Hopefully I can escape tomorrow's makan-makan to be with you.

When stuff like this happen, you started to think nonsense. What if that happened questions started popping in your brain. As a result, you keep calling him just to make sure he's all right when the truth is you making him sicker as he cannot rest properly without being disturbed by you. So what should I do? What's the correct action should be taken?