Two events

Last Friday on May 4th, I turned 24. In this 24 years of living in this world, I still don't know what I want in life. I know what I want but when it's gonna happen and what I do to make happen or more precisely if it's gonna happen is something that I don't know.

I know I want to do master but not in Biomedical Engineering obviously, but something that combine business and engineering. I want to take up course in arts. I love arts and the fact my parents didn't let me take architecture once upon a time ago is not going to decrease my love to arts. I want to study in other country. I don't want to continue study in Malaysia. I want to experience living somewhere else and challenged myself of surviving it there.

On short term plan, I want a studio apartment to live by myself. I don't want to live at others house and treat live a penyemak. I will stay in this company the longest 1 and half year. This is not what I want in life. Waking up in the morning feeling hatred and loathed at my own job and boss. I don't feel any satisfaction or even I don't know what I'm doing in this company. I don't shine coz I don't have the light to shine. After 7 months here, I still couldn't figure out a single thing about drugs.

On the other note, last monday which is May 7th was me and Zainal 5th year anniversary. Five years is quite long time for unmarried couple right. We've been through many stages of our live when we were together.

Five years is a long time to get to know with each other. We know what each other will say after we said something. We know what each othet likes and dislikes. We know each other family and friends.

But I discovered that there's a lot that we don't know about each other. We don't know how each other feel if we said something. We don't know each how each other feel with our actions. We don't know how to react when one person fell sick. We don't know how to put our interest aside when one was in pain. We don't know how to pujuk when one is merajuk. We don't know how to give massage to one's when one is in pain. (but we know how to give one when we know we'll get something after that). We don't know how to keep our promise to each other when something better comes after that. (or maybe we thought that he/she will understand it since we've been together for so long). We don't know that when one's in pain, one's doesn't want anything but a company to stay by one's side through one's pain. We don't know how to tolerate each other different lifestyle status.

Yeah, there's a lot we don't know about each other.

Everybody's hurt somebody before

Everybody's been hurt by somebody before

You can change but you will always come back for more

Its a game and we are all just victims of love.

Don't try to fight it, victims of love

You can't decide it, victims of love, victims of love

-Victims of love by Good Charlotte