A comeback post

I didn't write anything in 2017. Wow, what an achievement. Haha. After more than one year abandoned this blog, I thought I want to let it die in a slow death of abandonment. However, come 2018 and new resolution, I will revive this old blog of mine and start writing again. Writing down thoughts is a good practice, and it provides a venue for reflection and self-awareness. As you know, an effective leader is the one who has self-awareness. 

Since I have skipped 2017, I also missed the mandatory yearly review at the beginning of the year. For this, I have to review two years which are 2016 and 2017.

What happened in 2016? Big changes. Zainal completed his double Master degree from Boston University, and we moved from the northeast to the southwest. Precisely from Boston to Arizona. From frigid cold winter to scorching hot summer. Why the move? To get another Master degree, precisely MBA. We drove all the way across the country in 6 days covering more than 6,000 miles. We arrived on the hottest day of the year which was 120 degrees Fahrenheit or 49 degree Celsius, and it fell on the first day of Ramadhan. Crazy. I finished two quarters in my MBA and what I can tell you is that MBA is wayyyyyy crazier than that Master degree from Duke. I can't remember much the details between August and December because I was literally living at the campus all day and barely have any extra time to live my life.

In 2017, life is better. Or maybe I just adapted to the busy schedule of MBA. I tried to avoid staying in Phoenix during summer, but my rezqi was to be here as I interned at a company here. I felt like 2017 deserved a different post. Okay, I just lazy to remember what happened in 2017 right now and I will continue in a different post.

He is my mojo

Alhamdulillah... With Allah's grace, I am able to meet Ramadhan again this year. Two weeks plus of Ramadhan in Tempe, AZ, two days flying in between America, Europe and Asia, and the rest in Malaysia. Everything is good except this is my second time as a wife I will not be with my husband during Raya. 

I remembered during the discussion when should I be back to Malaysia to change my visa and I said to him that then we will not celebrate Raya together. In his sternness and seriousness he exclaimed that if we want to move forward and be successful, we need to get less emotional about this. It's just one time and we can always celebrate again. Deng..

Over time again and again, my husband knocked into my sleepy head when I get too comfortable, emotional and carried away. Before I got married, I looked for someone with a vision, and Allah granted my prayer and I married one. Now it is haunting me, in a good way InsyaAllah. The next chapter of my life is going to be interesting and the reason it happened at the first place is because the knock from my husband.

Knock knock.

First Toastmaster win!

Early this year, I joined Toastmaster International. It's a club where you can practice public speaking in a safe and control environment. I always wanted to join one but didn't have the time or chance previously. So when I found out there's one just a block from Zainal's school, I checked it out to feel how the club was doing. After being a guest for 3 times, I decided to join. Coincidentally I started my membership on 1st January 2016.

Funnily, at the same as I joined, there were many new members joining the club at the same time. So now the battle to find a slot for speech has reached to 2 months waiting period. Last year when I was just a guest, it took 2-3 weeks of waiting period. So in Toastmaster, you need to complete 10 speeches for you to become Competent Communicator. Each speech will focus on a certain aspect of a public speaking, and you are being evaluated by an evaluator. For example, how to structure for speech, vocal variety, body language/movement and speech to inspire/inform/storytelling.

Besides prepared speeches, the second part of club meeting is table topics speech. Table topic speech is when you are asked to give a 1-2 minutes speech on a topic/questions that being asked at that moment. The idea is to train you to be able to think on your feet. You need to think fast and give the answer on the spot.

It so happened, last week the club held International Speech Competition. The winner will represent the club to next stage of the competition. However, only members with 6 speeches and above are qualified to join. Since I only did 3 speeches, I was not qualified. But I can join the Table Topic Contest as it doesn't have per-requisite. I didn't do any preparation as I had an interview in the morning and was preparing for that interview instead. Nevertheless, I watched a Youtube video on how to win Table Topic Contest by past winners. Yes, I am very competitive. I need to do the best even I just joined for fun.

Guess what? I won first place in the Table Topic Contest! Alhamdulillah. I was super duper happy and shock at the same time. Coz I thought I was all over the place while trying to remember what the video told me to do. But the judges were telling me that I did a good job. The question for that contest was: What fictional character you want to meet in real life and why?

Due to that, now I'm going to represent my club at the area level contest early next month. Oh wait, that is next week! Oh no... this time around I will practice and make sure I will make my club proud.

The bird and the duck fly away

I told the bird it's ok if you are busy migrating. I know it's winter and even though you might not need to migrate, but it's great if you decided to.

But my heart said why do you need to migrate? Do you want to leave me? Do you find me boring that you need to migrate to other places? Am I so bad that you don't want me be around you?

I told the bird that I understand you are busy. Give me a call when you back here in spring. We can hang up. I like your song and you always have fun stories to share when you fly away.

But I told the duck that the bird is noisy. Always sing the song that I don't like. So it's good that bird is migrating said the duck. I nodded.

But in my heart I actually like the bird's song. Though the bird's songs in not what I usually listen but I can deal with that. I miss hanging with the bird. I didn't know that before but over time I need to hear songs from the bird.

Well, I guess the bird has flied away. So does the duck. I can't blame them. Winter is coming. But I can still have spring in my heart. I just need to grow my own flowers and sing my own song.

Shouldn't be that hard.

Right?

Goodbye 2015

Here we are welcoming the new year and leaving the old year with many memories. 2015 is the worst year for my blog as I only updated 9 times! A single digit posts in one year. What happened to my new year resolution to write as much as I can.

Anyway, as a whole, 2015 wasn't as bad as my blog. Hehe. 2015 marked one full year I left full-time employment and dedicated myself to the family, my company and charity works. I started volunteering at Cradle to Crayons and Gifford Cat Shelter. I also organized the fundraising for Kelantan flood victims. I enjoyed it so much, and I will continue to do it InsyaAllah.

In terms of traveling, we went to Midwest during spring break covering Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, and Wisconsin. It was fun and a good week to escape Boston endless snow storm. We also drove down with few others to Washington DC for Job Fair organized by Education Malaysia during spring and enjoyed Singing Beach at Manchester-by-the-sea, MA.

In summer, we went back to Malaysia coz Zainal got an internship in Microsoft KL. So we got to fast and Raya in Malaysia. Weehooo.. And I managed to have a 1 night trip back to Kelantan with my parents after almost 15 years hasn't gone back to my hometown. I managed to put on 3kgs within than 3 months -_-

Once we were back in Boston, we moved to a different apartment (cheaper but smaller) and got a very good deal second-hand car. Alhamdulillah, now we can move easily and not depending on buses and trains to go everywhere. That also means I'm Zainal's official driver :) Since we have a car, we took this opportunity to explore Massachusetts. We went eating cheap lobster at Rockport and awed the grand Castle Hill mansion at Ipswich. We also went to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We should go to Vermont and Maine after this.

Other than that, I experienced the worst winter that Boston ever experiences and for the first time I saw that amount of snow. I do hope that we will not experience that again this year.

Last but not least, I took this opportunity to study and to get ready for another opportunity for 2016, InsyaAllah if there's rezeki. Looking forward to more productive and unpredictable 2016.

Waist-to-hip ratio

In my post 3 years ago here, I was worried about the extra fat in my tummy. At that time I was more worried about my appearance rather than the health issue of the problem. Of course I took some action, and managed to reduce at least 10cm of my waistline. It was quite an achievement for me. Then  moved to Miri and lacked of my favourite food further helped my mission. Last year I moved to Boston and the scarcity of Halal food has helped me to shred 5kg of my excessive fat. However we went back to Malaysia for 2 months which coincidentally fell during Raya which has contributed to my weight gain.

However, these few days I was feeling sluggish and lethargic and wondering what is wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, I only skipped the gym for few days but I have been walking around few days in this week so I was not dormant. While reading articles in the internet (the abundant wealth of knowledge!), there's an article about the how the distribution of fat can be risky even if someone is in normal weight. The risk of cardiovascular disease of people with normal weight but high percentage of visceral fat - the fat accumulate around the internal organ which can be measured by the waistline - is higher than people with normal weight and normal waistline. In fact they have higher mortality risk with those who is obese based on BMI. 

So I took the measuring tape and started measuring the waist-to-hip ratio and looked at the table for the waist-to-hip ratio. Lo and behold, I was at the 'risk' group. MasyaAllah. Now that was the wake up call. 

Ok, I really need to cut down my snacks consumption that full of sugar. Tonight I will start my daily ginger-lemongrass-honey drink to regulate my blood circulation and people say can burn fat too. 

Wish me luck!

Another year, another country

It is already 2 weeks since we started the new year, 2015. Suddenly 2014 seemed so far away. Leaving so many sweet and sour (not bad, just sour-ish) memories. Malaysia was having the worst year of all time creating tragic and sensational news around the world. But my year wasn't that bad.

Started my second month on a new team in Kuala Lumpur, and I learned to take KTM Komuter to work. Was not very happy at first but the convenience of not having to face the traffic congestion weight more than the unpredictable of the Komuter. Then in August, I left the company that I have been there for 3+ years of my career life for 2 years sabbatical.

In 2014 too, I left my home, my town and my country, to return to the Uncle Sam's land. This time around, my other half needs to go to class and I cheer him from behind. Hehe. So new place, new surrounding and new people. I wouldn't say it was easy breezy but at least it was not as hard as 2009 at Durham. However, I'm getting hang of it and started to enjoy my time here.

For traveling, finally we made our Japan trip in spring, enjoying the full bloom of cherry blossom and nice weather in Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka. Then we tried to tone down our travel until we arrived in US. Then did 1 day trip to Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hampshire and New York City throughout fall. I still in love with New York. In December, during the winter break, we flew to Texas and made 10 days covering almost 4000 miles (almost 6500km) road trip around Texas and New Mexico.

It seems like I always moving around, from new home in 2012, to Miri in 2013 and now to Boston in 2014, and I guess moving is no longer a major life event for me. The major life event for me in 2014 is the changes from full-time career wife to a housewife. It is not easy at first, but after a while, I adapted to the changes. I'm not going to enjoy the housewife title for granted as I need to find a job soon or maybe need to start planning my plan B.

And oh yes, I registered and started my company, Zeemoon :)

The first 4 months

It has been 4 months since we relocated to New England. It was weird to think that last year at this time, I just moved to KL from Miri. Now I am at different country. It has been a hectic few years for me that I never settled down in one place for more than a year. I have been moving from one place to another and honestly, I kinda like it.

Anyway, 4 months ago, six days after Raya, we arrived here. We were more prepared this time with expectations and preparations beforehand. However, no matter how much you prepared for something, not until you are actually being here, then only you realized that you have to adjust accordingly. That's the fun of it. That's the adventure of moving around. 

Boston is different from Durham. Boston is a big city and one of the most expensive city to stay in US. Durham is just a small city where you can rent a single bedroom apartment with free parking for a third of my current apartment rent with no parking. But, husband receives the same amount of allowance that I received when I was in Durham 5 years ago. This is where the challenge of living in Boston comes. So no car for us, even taking a public train is an optional when we can use a public bus instead (taking a bus is 50 cent cheaper than taking a train).

Though we need to change our lifestyle 180 degrees, I enjoyed living here. The only thing I miss back home is my Subang house. In this 4 months, I have polished my cooking skill since I have to cook everyday now and now I'm proud to say I have roasted 2 whole turkeys. I learned to knit. I started to learn coding again after almost failing the subject during undergraduate years. I met new people. I have times to do some volunteering work now. I have time to go to gym. I finally have time for myself. 

I will be lying if I said that the transition from full-time working woman to full-time homemaker is smooth. I was so depressed for a few weeks. Imagine waking up and realize I don't have to be anywhere. I felt like I didn't do anything productive at home and I realized I no longer earn any money. It was sucks at first. I was a horrible housewife. I'm not a good cook and I don't like doing housework. But husband was very patient with me. Despite his busy schedule and his stress with the workload, he listened to my cries and babbling. He gave me things to do and asked me to join groups so that I can meet new people. After a few weeks, I guess I started to adapt and filled my time with new hobbies.

I know this luxury of time will not last long. I need to find a job soon or maybe start another degree. Whichever that I can get. So for now, I will enjoy my time and use this opportunity to enjoy my new hobbies.

Mellow

I used to be strong and very protective. I won't let anyone mess with what/whom I own/loved.

But now, I have becoming mellow. I watched from afar with tears filled my eyes. I no longer fight and stand for my right.

What happened to me?

Teacher's Day

Today Teacher's Day is celebrated all around the country. During the schooling years, I always look forward to teacher's day celebration at school coz that's mean no classes and we always have class party. Teachers will perform and that's when I realized that my teachers have other talents beside teaching Maths or English.

However, the most memorable teacher's day I ever had was in form 5. As usual for teacher's day, we will buy gifts for teachers that taught us or teachers that we loved. So for that year, I told arwah Pak that let's buy something different. So Pak suggested we gave teachers a mango. Not a normal mango, but a big juicy type of mango. I thought it was a good idea. So I wrapped the mango in a nice thick colorful serviette and tied it with a nice ribbon. 

At school I gave to all the teachers that taught me that year. I didn't get any feedback from them, so I can't say they like or didn't like that gift. But I do hope they opened it fast or else they will get a spoilt mango.

Anyway, that year, we have a substitute teacher that replaced one of our teacher. He was just out of university and I suspected he took the job just for the sake of money. Coz when he entered the class, nobody was paying any attention to him and he didn't even bother to introduce himself. If you asked my ex schoolmate,  nobody seems to remember him. Except me and my best friend. You know why? Coz I have a huge crush on him. I have no idea why, but people say love is blind. Who am I to question what people say. Hehe.

Obviously I have allocated a mango for him. I know it's going to be awkward giving a mango to a teacher and especially that teacher didn't even teach me. This is where the interesting part happened. I was stalking the teacher the whole day trying to find a perfect time to give to him until I saw him eating at the canteen alone. But he was at the teacher's part of the canteen and I didn't have the courage to go to him. At that moment, a junior that I knew walked pass me. Immediately I grabbed him and asked him to pass the mango to that teacher. He a bit naive and clueless so he just did what I asked. From far I saw the teacher was shocked to receive that gift and that clever junior pointed to me when the teacher asked him about the mango. OMG I was so embarrassed and hide behind my best friend and quickly we walked away for that place. As expected, my best friend was teasing me all day about that incident. 

But the sad thing is, I didn't get to say goodbye to that teacher. I was contracted with chickenpox and was quarantined at home for a week. And that time, the teacher left the school. My best friend laughed at me when she knew I was sad not because I'll miss school, but because of a teacher.

Looking back, I don't even understand why I can be so silly sometimes. Haha.. Man, the good old days. 

Emotional year it was

2014 has arrived 39 days and I haven't updated my blog at all. Aduh, the M disease has eluded me since I finally moved back to KL for good. Yay! I haven't have a chance to recap 2013, which is compulsory for this blog tradition so let's do it now.

2013 was an emotional year where I battled with extreme happiness every Friday and extreme sadness. I'm lucky I have a strong heart, if not my heart will not bear this emotional roller coaster for 10 months. It started in February when I moved to Miri for work leaving my lovely husband and comfy home. Honestly, never in my life I thought I would be weekend wife and I swear I will not do that again, InsyaAllah.

I collected a chunk of air miles points within these 10 months from Air Asia and Malaysia Airlines from the weekly travel MYY-KUL-MYY. At one point, I just cannot bear travel by air anymore. Not only that, I also collected hotel points - Marriott and Starwood when I stayed a month in Miri Marriott and a month in KL Le Meridien. Oh sungguh indah... Haha.. TQ to my company for this generous benefit.

Learned to live in Borneo, ate their food, spoke their language and adopted to their culture.Though we are one country, but we are so different. This makes us unique. And of course make tons of new friends and colleagues.

In term of traveling, we just focused on the South East Asia - we went to Brunei in February, Bangkok in May and Jakarta in September. As usual learning the culture of our neighbours and enjoying little shopping. Brunei is only 30 minutes from Miri, so it's not only 1 trip there but few trips to enjoy the yummy sushi shops that they have there.

I guess 2013 taught me something, going away from home for work is not the same as going away for studies. Don't ask me why, but in my opinion, the road is easier when I was away for studies than working. Maybe Allah smooth the road for those who seeks knowledge than money :p.  "For him who embarks on the path of seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the way to paradise." (Related by Muslim).

Why diet fail

People in my office:

You look thinner. Have you lost weight? Have you been eating well lately? Come eat lunch with me. You need to eat more!

(And I volunteerly follow them)

Instead of:

You look thinner. Have you lost some weight? Way to go sista! You are looking good.

Sigh. This is why diet is so hard.

Peer pressure.

Haha.

posted from Bloggeroid

There will be happy me only

I was chatting with my previous stakeholder on how I missed supporting their team back in KL. Their team has changed few people including him and he told me it was not the same as previous team that I supported. He laughed when I said his team was very happy and always make me happy whenever I came. He told me that we as human always remember the good memories of our previous places when we are suffering the current situation. We always forgot why we want out in the first place and just because we are familiar with the previous place, we tend to just remember the good things not the bad things.

I never thought of that before. I admitted that I made that mistake too. I only remember the good memories which making me miserable at my current situation. And when I moved to another place, I will only remember the good things of my current situation and again feeling miserable. I know this 10 months of miserable experience that I'm feeling right now will be forgotten as miserable and I will remember the good memories only.

When that happened, I will always feel miserable and never satisfy what I have now. I will living in my past, replaying the good old memories and forgot to live my present life. I will miss the enjoyment that I have now, lost in past and let opportunities to pass by my life. I will hope for better future but didn't do anything at present to ensure future will be better.

Therefore this new year 1435 Hijriah, I want to change that mindset. I will cherish the good memories, learn from bad experiences and most importantly live the present to the fullest. I will not regret what I should have done but fix it now so that there will no regret in the future.

Salam Hijrah everyone. Hope the new year bring more blessed moments and happiness to all of us around the world.

Evil internet

This afternoon my buddy asked me since I came Miri, did I study a lot for CIPS. I sheepishly said no. Then he asked me what did I do with my time alone here. Honestly I dunnooooo... I checked Facebook, 9Gag, browsing online forums and blogs.. boom, 12 am already and time to sleep.

Then this evening, my friend asked me if I have plan today and I said none but I want to sleep early coz I don't get enough sleep last night and..... boom, now is 12 am.

Come on Mun! Where is your self discipline on internet?

Down the drain that flow to Miri river.... haha

The T junction

There is a time in your life where you need to make huge decision  for your future. It’s always between these two choices: either I want to stay with something I’m familiar with or I want to do something new and always wanted to do. And always in human nature, we prefer to do something we familiar with, whether that something we familiar with is something we like or don’t like. We always scared with the unknown but at the same time we want to try new things in the comfort of the old ones.  

When I come this junction again in my life (for some reason my life journey always meet this kind of junction), my usual competitive and adventurous inner voice will always ask to take the something new turn. However, I also want to do the familiar things, brush up a bit, add more meat and become an expert. But I don't have any passion in the this familiarity. I do it coz I need to do it as what people expected me to do it. I’m no expert but I quite good in things that I don't have passion in. So should I stick to the things that I know?

I don’t know, for once I really want to venture something that I really like, but I don’t know if what I like will help me in the future. The last time I took something I like had me into trouble of getting a job that I enjoy. But then, that particular inner voice keep on telling me that if I do something that I like, I will enjoy it and I will do it great. I agree with that. I really want to be great at something. Something that worth sharing to the world, something that can help someone in this world. I want to be that person.

So what will I choose?

Wonderful 2012

There is only one word to describe 2012: Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah. So much has happening in 2012, even though I have ups and downs, but the amount of love I get from Allah and people, is just unbelievable.

We traveled a lot this year. It's like a revenge for 2011 for the lack of traveling. The highlight of the year is Umrah. But the worst of 2012, the hospitalization after Umrah.

Well, let's recap 2012:

1. We travel a lot, on average of once every 3 months:
1. January : Bali for our 4th anniversary
2. March: Umrah
3. May: Penang
4. August: Alor Setar
5. September: Langkawi
6. November: South Korea
2. Hospitalized coz of Influenza B - then doctor took the opportunity to do endoscopic procedure since I always have stomach problem. Who would know the equipment I used to repair during internship become my diagnostic tool.
3. Alhamdulillah no death in the family this year.
4. Steep learning curve in my career. But it was very satisfying. 
5. No diving trip this year :(

I guess that's all this year. I see only 2 common themes: Travel and work. And sickness. Haha. My stakeholder actually put this twice in my performance review this year: She needs to take care of her health. Ok, that will be this year resolution.

I always looking forward to do each year reflection (this blog tradition) just to remind myself to be thankful of all the things that happened in my life and as a learning to improve myself. On a sad day, I will search this list every year and smile at all life experiences that I have been through.

Again, in the same dilemma

Again, this question pop in my life.

To go or not to go?

Comfort zone or challenging zone?

This time around the difference is the distance.

From 24 hours flight to 2 hours, which is not so bad but still...........

A third of Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah it's 10 Ramadhan already. I hope it's not too late to wish everyone Ramadhan Mubarak. Let's make this Ramadhan better than the last one.

This is our first Ramadhan in our own house. Still adjusting of the space that we need to walk to get something and of course the stairs. Yelah, sebelum ni asyik tinggal kat apartment je, semua within hand reach. But of course no complain of the extra steps which also mean we have more space now.

This year I'm going to take the Ramadhan advantage as much as I can. Last year was bad, so this year I want to improve, InsyaAllah. So far I don't miss any puasa yet. Praying hard I will not miss any puasa this time around and of course praying hard I don't need to miss solat for the next 9 months.

I think this year bazaar Ramadhan is not interesting anymore. The food price has increased or they just maintained the same price but with lesser portion. I tried to cook (since I got new and bigger kitchen, kena la semangat kan) when I reached home earlier or during weekend. Alhamdulillah this year we don't overly excited to eat everything. Just want to maintain this phase and eat moderately.

However, I teringin nak makan that ayam golek at Bangi roadside. I wonder it still there or moved already. One of the best ayam golek. And I want to have murtabak singapore. Wonder where can I get it?

posted from Bloggeroid

My first time...

I have to admit one thing. At the age of *ehem* *ehem* ( a woman will never reveal her age), I never donate blood. Not ever once. Not that I'm afraid of needles, but I never had the chance. I was underweight, got migraine and long list of reasons for not to do it. But deep inside me I know it is just excuses not to donate.

Sempat lagi ambil gambar :p

So yesterday I have made up my mind that today I will donate my blood for the first time of my life. In conjunction of Safety Day of my company, there would be a blood donation drive and I will use this opportunity to do my part. My husband said that it is not painful, the most painful part is when they taking a small sample of blood to check your blood type. Oookayyyyy.. such a confident statement from someone who can't stand blood and needles, let alone donate blood. Iye je kan lah.. hehe (at the end, his statement was actually true!)

So I registered myself and donated the blood. Another of my colleague joined together (ok, she was the one who motivated me to donate actually), while 2 were restricted from donating coz they had an acupuncture less than 1 year and end up cheering us and the other colleague was there just to support us. So much love in the building! 

The best part of all of this, it wasn't painful at all! I felt light-headed after that and used that excuse to go home a bit early.. hehe.. It was wonderful experience for me as I postponed to do this for so many years and when I finally have the courage to do it, it was so simple and fast. I have wasted so many years with my excuses. Haih.. 

Therefore, from this day onwards, I will try to donate blood as much as I can as long as I'm able to do it. So for all of you out there, don't give excuses to donate blood. It wasn't painful at all. Your blood can saves lives :)

Sharing the joy

Wow, it's May already. You know what's mean? It means my birthday is in 4 days and my last birthday in my 20s. Ahh... I'm getting old (wiping sweat). And of course this is my favourite month of the year. My boyfriend and I are celebrating our 10th year anniversary. Yippee..

This year, for this birthday, instead of only receiving, I would like to give. To share this joy with others. No details will be shared on this, coz Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, "Seven (types of) people will be covered with Allah's shade on a day when there is no shade but His Shade, (from among them) a man who gives a charity hiding it, that (even) his left hand does not know what his right hand has spent".

So shhh..