Wishful thinking

What do you think of marrying at early age? Not an option right. A lot of people say you must be stable first than only you can think about getting married... bla..bla...bla..

Imagine this, when you married at an early age when you are a nobody in this world and together both of you struggle and work hard until you are an important person in the society. Would the taste of success would become sweeter? Together both of you trying to make ends to survive, starting online business to get extra money and rent a room coz can't afford a house. Then together both of you rise, gain more money and reputation... and finally, 50 years ahead, when both of you sitting side by side beside the pool with backgroud of posh mansion own by you on top of the hill overlook the city while you rest your head on his shoulder... you can say, "Remember honey when we were young, we were struggling to live but together we as a team, we finally made it." Then you can say that you have found your soulmate and at that moment, if God say that it's time for you to go, you won't be afraid coz you know that both of you can meet again in heaven perhaps...InsyaAllah. Or when he tell you that he's getting new wife when both of you already succeed, you can tell him (or reminisce the old stories to make him realize how both of you has struggle together and how he would ruin the perfect team if another member join in. He might at least would think twice if not cancel the plan. This actually works according to a friend of mine. Hehe).

But what if both of you already stable and successful when you get married, then you will think that you can live without him. You don't need each other to live. Marriage was like to fulfill you sexual needs, society expection and bore some children. He came when you are successful and might leave you when you become useless. When he took another wife or berpoya-poya with other girls, he would say that that's his money, he can do anything he want with it. You have no right in his property. On the bright side, at least when you divorce, there's no harta sepencarian. It's either his or hers.

So.... the conclusion of all this wishful thinking is that.... well, malu la nak cakap. Nevermind la... no conclusion. Oh yes, at least you will prevent more sins right.

Talk about wedding, congratulations to Yon who get married last Sunday... Semoga bahagia sehingga akhir hayat (not only until anak cucu ok...)

**Still can't stop grinning**

To the couple out there, Happy Lover's Day... No matter how hard you try to ignore that day, you can't. The celebration has become too commercialized by business people.

So we did opposite other people do. Instead of having lavish dinner at some posh restaurant that need to be reserved 3 days before which come with pricey tag, we cooked at home. That's something that we never did together. The whole point of valentine is to be together. So we bought all our preparation together and cooked together. That way, it's more economical and less stress (think of jam, parking space and slow waiter)

That was one wonderful night. Having dinner beside our 4 little fish, eating the food we prepared ourselves with candles (a must!), sparkling grape juice and together with your loved one.... what a girl can ask more?

But I felt bad for not giving him anything except secret recipe's cheese cake without writing my heart out. He gave me this beautiful card with oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-cair kind of message which written by him.

Well sayang, Thank you for wonderful 4 years and 9 months.... (the continual of the message will be private & confidential)

Well, people out there, jangan la jealous.... (grinning from ear to ear)

I see my bed today

I had terrible morning today, physically. Last night I played 2 rounds of badminton with Zainal and gang after few months of not exercising. As the result, my arms and legs ached. The worst part was the blister at my index finger of my right hand. This is the result of wrong handling of the badminton racket. I don't know why I hold the racket like that. It was the way I always do ever since I started playing badminton. Back then, I played quite often, so the skin can handle it but after how many years of not playing, even after 15 minutes of playing badminton, the skin at that area started to peel. It hurts.... isk isk isk.

For some reason I don't know my tongue also hurt. I couldn't remember if I accidentally bit it yesterday or if it's an ulcer. I hardly get any ulcer in my life compared to some people who will get one if they're stressed. My body works react differently if I'm stress. Not that I going to discuss it here.

In addition to all this problem, I have runny nose. I usually get this when I take cold shower in the morning. If it warm shower, then this problem won't happen. But since I moved to Kajang, I thought this problem was over coz even after cold shower, I didn't get runny nose. But these few weeks, I started had this problem again. Haih... It feel so uncomfortable. If this happened until afternoon, my eyes will look droopy which is so not attractive okay...

Well, I think I need to exercise more so that next time my body can become healthier, stronger and ready for any challenge (wow, very ambitious statement. Hehe...)

The tortoise crawling down the street...

Have you ever in the situation that everything around you become slow when you need to go fast? I mean, you need to get to another place in 1 hour and between that 1 hour you need to eat your dinner, change your clothes etc. And that moment too, the nasi lemak seller was packing the nasi lemak in the slowest mode he could do. And you were not the only customer there. In front of you there were 7 hungry people waiting patiently for that turtle to pack their nasi lemak. At that moment you felt that if this is lawless country, you'll be strangle him. Huh.

Then you go to the place that you need to go and found that you were already late and have to postpone your plan to tomorrow. Since you have nothing to do, you went shopping. But you realized that you have no money. Fret not, ATM just nearby and there's only 1 customer in front of you. You stand behind him smilling face waiting for your turn. Then you realized that the person in front of you are reading (more like spelling, I guess) every words at the screen before slowly push the button. Finally after few minutes, he finished withdrawing his money. But wait, he's pulling out another card. And another... Thank God he has only 3 ATM cards... Cik abang, tak cukup lagi tu... Credit card tak nak cuba? MyKad pulak ke?

Walking happily with money now, you decided to buy some food. After walking around the supermarket, you only can find 1 food that you actually want to buy (food that you WANT to eat not buy would be a lot la kan). You queuing in the express lane where 8 items or less were allowed. But then a person in front of you have a trolley full of things which was so obvious more than 8 items la. When came his turn, dengan muka selamba dia keluarkan barang dia. The cashier refused to accept and hooray to you, he cut down half of his item. Hahaahahahahaah. Padan muka...

So what would you do if this day happen to you? All I can said is, patience is the key.

My camera

Finally I got this....Not the manual book only, it comes with camera of course. Huhu...

Supposed to be secret from my parents, but just now my dad just found out because Naqib was sesuka hati took the picture of this..

For you info, this is the view from the verandah of my house.

And I can do this...

Welcome to my crib!!

These 3 days were full with crazy pictures like these:

Naqib rase dier nampak kurus dalam gambar ni. Ye ke? Ape-ape je la...

Flora Fest and 2 goldfishes

Last weekend Zainal and I went to Flora Fest 2007 at Putrajaya. The parade was at 8am but we purposely missed it coz we just want to see the floating car. Actually it's not 'we', it was more like 'me'. At 2.30pm at Putrajaya, it was not agood idea to be outdoor. But by doing my usual pleaaassee... big eyes and alah, kita tengok kejap je, we finally inside the big air-con tent. Thank God for the air-con. Here's some pictures. Oh yes, we met Mai and Wira. And because of the unplanned visit, I didn't have camera with me and used only my 2.0 mp phone camera. Hmmm... the pictures were not so nice la. Anyway, here goes my fav.
Sabah was the best one I think. Kedah was so serabut and Perlis was the smallest. Others were so-so.

Alamak. Gambar dengan Mai tak clear la. The last time I saw her was on our convo day (ye ke? or at her sister's engagement? Lupa lak). How time flies...

Oh yes, we bought another 2 fishes; 2 goldfishes named Borat and Buran, at the Flora Fest. I know it's supposed to be where you buy flowers but we can't resist to be these 2 beautiful creature. Now we have Borat, Buran, Cumi, Ciki and Ciko. Cikang died 3 days ago.Borat and Buran think they are next DBKL fish. But at a positive side, they actually clean up the aquarium.

Finally I have pets again. My life felt missing if I don't have an animal to be take care of. (But this one Zainal will take care of them).
And I love watching them swimming around.
I felt peace and calm.

Monday Blues

Something funny happened this morning. One guy fell asleep while waiting the traffic lights turned green. At first I was wondering why he hasn't moved. Then when I drove pass him, I saw he was sleeping. Must be very tiring watching Arsenal beat Man Utd. Hehe.. Pity that fellow. All the cars and lorries behind him kept honking when he's happily dreaming in La-la Land. I don't know if he ever wake up. Thank God I'm not in that lane. If yes, it won't be a funny story anymore. Huhu.

I can't sleep last night, so I made a promise to myself. I promised myself not to mention the M-word to anybody from today onwards. What going to happen will happen. For now, I would enjoy and appreciate life as it is. Nothing I can change though.

And yes, we are thinking of opening a business. Hmmm.... must prepare the business plan first, then we can start it by February? InsyaAllah. Any ideas for a company name?

Oh, we got ourself 4 pairs of fish last Saturday. Cute, colourful and small fish. We promised to take care our little pets together. So he brought them home first. By this morning, 2 fishes already died. Natural causes or human error? Hehe... Just hope I still can take care of them by the end of this week.

Desperately in Love

All I want is to be with him. Is that one fact that too hard to swallow? I need to be with him everyday. Being with him complete my day. It's not that I can't live without him; I can, but my day wouldn't be so satisfying.

It's like eating rice. You don't die if you don't eat rice. You still can eat bread, mee or anything else. But after a week or so, you crazed for rice. Eating rice make your whole meal complete.

Same here. He's not my life machine support. I still can breath, still can eat, still can go to work but the air would feel so damp, the food don't taste that good and works stress me out.

So why you need hundreds of reason to be together. One reason is sufficient enough for me. I don't need colourful resume to be king of my heart. I'm not a multinational seeking employees. I just want to be with someone whom I love and love me back.

How I wish life would be that simple. Then I would be one happy woman.

Reason to buy

Marriage is not something that can be done easily. It's not only unite 2 people, but also 2 families. It also become the base of the birth of future souls. Therefore, a suitable partner and family should be choosed. I remember my uncle used to tell me that you are not marrying one person only but the whole family as well. So marrying in the 30-minutes Las Vegas chapel or Siam does not an option for me (even though I always think about doing that lately... in Siam of course. Daripada pergi Las Vegas, baik kahwin elok-elok kat sini, lagi murah..Hah).

So marriage might not so imminent for me (at this hours at least). This is because both families seem like they still wouldn't let go their only daughter and their last son. However, this is not what my friends think... check this out. A poll for who's going to get married soon (after Yon obviously). I won! I won!!! I love winning!!!
Since I have no plan when I'm going to get married, so why deprived myself from buying stuff that I really want? Why should I save money for something that I don't know when it's going to happen? Maybe next month, next year or maybe next 10 years? Who knows????

Therefore, I'm going to add my gadgets collection with this sleek Kodak V705 digital camera. With 7.2 mega pixels, dual lens and others fantastic features, I'm going to get it when the next paycheck in. I'm so not patient to wait for this new camera.

No mood

For one thing, I felt like going home. It just that I don't have any mood to do any job. Yes, I admit. That time of the month again. Hehe... Get easily irritated with everything. Haih.

Tried to call someone for a lunch date but no answer. I tried to be positive and hope that he's sleeping. That's the one valid reason I will accept. Haha...

Beginning of the year means new calender. Suppliers send a lot of calender, planner and diary. I got one calender and one diary. Enough for me. But I already wrote something on that calender and then my boss give me another calender that I like. At least no pictures of pharma products... Bosan ok. But, trying not to be greedy here, I gave to someone else. At one time people will lelong diaries and calender. Who want this, who want that.

Well, the first person who received diaries has a previlege of chossing the best diary. People will come to her table and said, Eh, what a nice planner. Got another one? Huhu... sorry, the early bird gets the worm.

Arghhh... I want to go home and sleep. I want to sleep in his cuddle.....

2006 highlights

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidil Adha and the day after tomorrow is New Year's Day. So Selamat Hari Raya and Happy New Year!!!

Since 2006 will end in less than 26 hours, I would like to take this opportunity to highlight the events that occurred in 2006 for me. Let see...

1. I finally graduated from my tertiary level of education. And that's mean, I already left the school for 6 years... wow.
2. Went to various job interview (yes, various kind of jobs)
   
3. I get my first job and left it after 3 weeks...
4. I get my second job and still holding on...
5. Went to various exams (PTD- twice & fail, TOEFL, GRE)
6. First time celebrated my birthday with my friends in UM, yes, after 4 years... well, better late than never kan.
7. Gain weight, after 9 years of stagnant weight. (ho ho, be careful what you wish. Skrang bermasalah la plak nak maintain weight. Dulu susah sangat nak naikkan weight).
8. Improve my relationship with Zainal.
9. Latest addition: only few days ago, my parents finally let me staying at a rented house in Bangi. Finally, no more 45 minutes of driving to work + everyday overspeed (have to ok, if not I'll be late).
10. Continous harmonious relationship in the family... which is the greatest gift of all time.
11. Oh yes, I got a new niece... Adriana si comel dan garang.

Well.... hopefully 2007 brings more happiness in me... like abah's promise & a wedding bell perhaps? Anyway, let's hope the best for everyone.

C*I*N*T*A

I know this is old news and a lot of bloggers have been writing about this movie. But I love this movie. Cinta show that the new era of Malaysian film has come and the audiance will not feed with Yusof Haslam & Razak Mohideen movie only. No offence to them, but I think that their movies are not worth my 2 hours and 10 bucks to see them.

I watched this movie twice. New record for me. For someone who hardly (I can count with 1 hand) watched Malay movie, this is something big ok. The first one was with my girlfriends 3 days after opening and the second one with my boyfriend just last week. I never thought that it would be that good. What do you axpect from a film that advertised in the radio with an abstract like this: " Majalah ni tak boleh jual." " Ia boleh jual kalau diletakkan di sini." Ape ni? So I was following my girls' idea of watching it. At the end, I was the one who cried a bucket. Sampai lebam mata tu. But it's not fair coz the others were trying to make sure they didn't ruin their make up. But I just couldn't hold my tears, boleh kena migrain you know. Thank God I didn't wear mascara that day or people will mistake me for WWF panda.

The movie showed different kinds of love. It showed that love is universal. It can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any stage of life. Initially I thought it would turn out to be like Love Actually but I think this is better. Maybe the idea was not so original, but how the director connected all 5 stories was brilliant. The cinematography was fantastic. Even Kampung Abdullah Hukum looked beautiful in that story and it showed many faces of Kuala Lumpur.

I'm so into this movie until Zainal download the whole soundtrack album for me. I love all the songs especially Without You by Same Same & Jac. Sampai 2-3 kali la repeat tu. Ntah ape2 la plak bila fikir balik. Hehe.

Well, those who hasn't watch it, please go and watch it with your love ones. It's worth it. Like Ashlee Simpson said, "L O L O V E".

I want to run away

Have you ever thought of running away without telling anyone for awhile? Maybe a week or two.
Just to clear your head and escape from your problems.
Just to escape from everybody's rules and give yourself a freedom that you always wanted.

I wish I had the guts to do that. Really. I wish...

But then, this face popped out in my head...

On second thought, maybe I should bring him too.
Coz he makes my day worth living and take away all my pains.
He's the only one who actually listen to what I say and what I feel.
I need him.

I had a nightmare .... and you were in it

I dreamed that you left me last night. You left me for my friend that just come back from UK. You ignore me totally and was with her all the time. I was fine the first 3 days but the fourth day, I was livid. I was hoping you came back to me. But after waiting, I realized you weren't coming back. I asked you for the reasons but you just ignored me. You made me looked like a fool. I was begging you to at least tell me the reasons so that I understand my mistake. After few days you finally spoke up. I wish I never asked that question. You told me that you never love me anyway. You said I was selfish, ignorant and act like I was too good to be true. It just broke my heart completely. You said that she's the one you love. I remembered your face and how you said it. It was so cruel. It felt like you have no regret about this whole thing.

I woke up and I cried. I immediately took wudhu' and performed solat. I pray that this will not going to happen. I know how hard it is coz I've experinced once. I don't want to feel that feeling again. I pray that our relationship will stay strong until the end of our life with love and happiness surround us.

I've been dreaming weird stuff lately. I must wash my feet really hard and double my doa sebelum tidur this times.

Destress

One fine evening at one delicious open house, Suraya asked me how I destressed or chilled out after working. She asked me how the working life and how I spend my day? She's going to start working next month and trying to imagine working life. Well, it was tough questions I might say.

First of all, I just worked for like what, 1 and the half month. And the 1 month before this can be considered too. Working at previous job before lead me to very stressful life. I didn't like the job, I didn't like the journey and I ended up MCs all the time. (Not all the time la, but considering the 1 month timeframe, it was a lot ok. I easily stressed out and popping my migrain pills more than ever.

Now, at this current work, with the same duration with previous job, I found myself enjoying whatever I did. Even though I have to drive 45 minutes each way, I filled my journey with the music, thanks to Hitz.fm and Fly fm. Sometimes (more like always) I would dropped by at the well, my haven, to meet my sweetheart to destress myself. Well, the only stress I got right now is the angry phone calls from my mom for coming back late. Hehe.

Sometimes I wish I can stay nearer to Bangi so that I can wake up a lit bit late without having to drive like mad woman to compensate the extra sleep time just to be on time at work. Yeah, I wish mom would approved her lil and only (now, a grown up) daughter to live by her own and learn to be independent.

My weekends is reserved for my loves one (family, lover and friends - even though it seems like more towards the lover). And I do realize that weekend always pass me by with a blink of eyes. Without you realize, it's Monday again.

So Suraya, how I destress my life? I sleep and sleep and sleep. (Caution: sweet food can make you fat. So when stress, don't eat, sleep).

Freedom of being me

There's something in my life that always bug me. The ability for me to live my life independently without having other people control it. No matter how hard I try to do this, there's always somebody who try to control me. Even though I already eliminated one person, another person would eventually turn to be my control freak.

In return, I missed out all the money-can't-buy experience like camping in schooling years, duduk rumah sewa, field trips and so much more.

When I reflected my life, in a way I can conclude that even though people give you money to make you happy, they can't give you satisfaction, experience, freedom and self-esteem. They make themselves loved by their money, not their virtue and own self. Sad eh.

I wish I can turn back time and do all the things I miss. But it's impossible. All I can do right now, change my life and gain back my freedom. Try to do things that I missed out. Like camping.

But first of all, how am I going to convince them to give me my freedom to optimize my life?

Get well soon

How do you feel when your other half is sick and alone right now and you are 30 minutes away from him and can't do anything about him except giving a lot of bullshit advices on how to get well (and you know that it won't work because you are not a doctor ok). I felt like a poo. How I wish I am by his side right now nursing and just be there for him. Hmmm... hold on darling. Hopefully I can escape tomorrow's makan-makan to be with you.

When stuff like this happen, you started to think nonsense. What if that happened questions started popping in your brain. As a result, you keep calling him just to make sure he's all right when the truth is you making him sicker as he cannot rest properly without being disturbed by you. So what should I do? What's the correct action should be taken?

Capturing Raya

I would like to wish everybody a Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1427H. Maaf zahir dan batin. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau ade yang secara tak sengaja atau sengaja menulisnye kat sini.

Well, hope everybody has a wonderful raya yesterday. I know I had a wonderful time yesterday. Minus the cold and constant sneezing. Yang penting gambar raya masih cantik.

Let's the picture do the talking... We were at my atuk's house in Muar.

2 boring stories

It's almost 2 weeks I didn't update this blog. Not that nothing happened. It just that I didn't want it to be a single post for every story coz it would make me look like a loser with the capital L.

The first one was my pre-employment medical check up. Trying to work at phamaceutical company has it's price. They are very concern about your health especially if you have contagious disease. So in the letter to the hospital, they requested that I should be checked on stuff like skin diseases, TB and irritable bowel syndrome. So after taking a syringe of blood and urine sample, they wanted my stool sample. Obviously I couldn't give them at that moment so I have to take back the bottle and would sent it later. But my body refused to give me the sample, so I end up returning to the hospital with the sample after 3 days. Ha, good luck to the lab technicians.

Secondly, last weekend I had my buka puase with the Subang friends but end up very angry after that. The reason: The restaurant didn't refill the buffet table when the food had finished (even before azan. Can you imagine?). And we end up eating rice with vegetables only. And yet we have to pay the full price of that buffet. I warned you people, this restaurant "Restoran Ani Sup Utara" at Shah Alam would do this to you. Don't easily attracted to the lucky draw stuff... focus on your food. No point if you can join the lucky draw but no food to eat. Not going to that restaurant again. Unless I win the lucky draw... hehe.

So there you go. Nothing interesting happened in my life right now. I'm just waiting for the good news this Friday. So, I will update on the good news. Please pray for me kay. Thanx.

Ps: This is a very boring post. Even me feeling sleepy half way through.

Friends are precious

My favourite picture of all... maybe becoz I look tall kot. hehe

Dear friends,

First of all, I would like to extend my gratitude for your support and concern this past few days. Sorry for being one angry woman and thanks for calming me down. I never really actually express my negative emotions to you guys before... so when times like this I don't know how to express it properly and end up like this.

I'm so touched that you guys really really care about me, I never thought you guys did. I definitely was so wrong. So glad we did this coz at the end it's worth it. Your smiles remind me all the good memories in UM. Something that can't never be replaced.

Then,
Leen: Thanks for listening to my complaints... your fast responds and your everyday post in circles made my job easier...

Mai: Like leen, thanks for fast responds even though you're in south... and your call last night, really really made my day. Even though I only received voice messages after that, but hearing your sisterly advice was nice.

Liya: Thanks for coming my house to pick it personally and really like that poster. It felt worth it when people love that stuff.

Nida: Thanks for your concern and ideas... some that I cannot change, sorry but I replace something nice... and I don't think I can be in your shoes when organizing stuff like this. You are a lagend.

Last but not least.... Zainal who listening to my endless whining in the wee hour and actually came out with one brilliant idea to replace that frame. Haih.. asal tak boleh terfikir bende tu.

Oh yes, Mr Ted.. Jangan menyesal lepas ni ye.... Thank you very very much.

Now, I officially announced that this project is finished and succed. (sekarang tunggu apa kata korang lepas tengok the real thing.)