Salam Aidil Fitri

To all my friends....

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Drive safely, eat slowly and forgive everybody

Show me some light please

Sometimes I felt that he didn't want me to go to US. He seems like he's not supporting me. However, sometimes he does look excited. Seriously he made me confused.

I really don't know what to feel right now. I felt excited and happy to further my study as I was my dream since after SPM. (God knows how I felt when I discovered I couldn't study oversea even though my result was better than my friends that could fly away. Crushed to pieces). But on the other side, I felt scared coz I never been alone, I felt guilty for leaving him for few months and I'm confused about his permission. If he doesn't allow me to go, then I'm not going. But I'm not going to work and I want to study art. Haha... No, seriously.

Because of this negative feeling is more dominant than the positive feeling, I kind of scared to proceed to next step. I also spend more time finding on how to make him join me than I'm searching for my preparation. I don't mind spending all my money and resources to make him come and be with me when the time is right. I believe it would be the best thing would ever happen to us. Amin and InsyaAllah.

At this moment, I don't know what to do. If only he showed some excitement, then I'll be in peace at least for awhile. I don't want to be like P. Ramlee and Azizah:

"Kerana cita-cita, ku korbankan cinta."

Me & 1000 diseases

I was so close to try on something that I studied and memorized on how it function and all that stuff. During clinical engineering, I've seen that thing and amazed how on earth the inventor of this thing can actually thought of doing this. But of course, not every hospital has this and being a chance to use it would be an experience not to be missed. The machine is MRI.

But then my dream suddenly was squashed by the voice of the love of my life.

"Doctor, it is possible that this pain due to stress from work? Because when she stress, the pain worsen."

And the doctor innocently answered, "Yup, it's possible. I think that's the reason. Btw, how's your working condition?"

Me, "Mumble, mumble, mumble."

Doctor, "That's why you always have pain in this area.... bla...bla...bla... Why don't we try physiotherapy first. If not working, then only we scan. Ok?"

Me, "Mumble, mumble... okkkkk."

There you go. I've missed a chance to get scanned by 3.0 Tesla MRI which supposely to be the first in South East Asia. (I'm not sure it's true, but the hospital claimed it and me being ignorant about the medical technology since I join pharmaceutical, I believe it's true la). I really want to see how the image of my body using that machine. I know it would not find anything abnormal but just want to make sure right...

But by the treatment of physiotherapy I received this time, I don't think this pain will go away. This pain is taking away the sweetness of one activity that I love so much.... sleeping...

That melancholy feeling again

I thought of not going to the buka puasa event organised by my boss's boss , Mr SM. I was tired and sleepy coz I've been sleeping less than 5 hours for 2 nights in the row now. All I want to do was go home and rest. Suddenly my phone rang and my colleague asked my whereabouts. After assuring her that I'll be there soon, I realized I have to make it despite my sleepiness.

Along the way, with maps (yup, 2 maps) at the steering wheel, I confidently drove there. Then I realized there's a Persona following for quite some time. Behind that Persona, there's a Myvi that I believed was owned by one of my 6 Sigma gangs. Oh, now I realized that there's 3 cars that actually following me which was all of them were my colleagues. Funnily, they didn't know that I was depending on the maps to get there but since they trusted me, they followed me all the way even though I turned to the wrong exit. Hehe.

During the whole buka puasa event, I realized that my 2 years existence does have an impact to this company. Mr SM even asked me if there's any chances I will take back my resignation notice. Well, so far, I'm very happy to leave this job, thank you.

I realized that I've been so negative about this place that I thought nobody care if I'm there or not. But then I finally realized that the only person that I really hate is my boss-from-hell. Despite sometimes I get annoyed with department that I'm supposed to support, but in reality they are nice people. The annoying time only come during either I'm having PMS or they having PMS. Most of time I enjoyed chatting and laughing with them while I'm trying to make sure they follow the procedure especially during technology transfer. In conclusion they are nice people trying to do their job.

Somehow, these past 2 weeks, our department has moved downstairs and I purposely request to be sat away from the boss-from-hell. To tell the truth, first time in 2 years, I felt serenity and calm. Hehe... I don't need aromatherapy or jasmine tea to calm me down. He's the reason I'm going and for now I'm still not sure is this is the best path I ever take in my life or the opposite. I hope everything turns out well. InsyaAllah.

I'm going to miss this place so much than I ever think I could.

And for the first time

To tell the truth, I've written few posts that hang in the middle due to 1) distraction from somebody 2) sudden writer's block disease. Hehe...

After 11 years of formal education from Ministry of Education, I finally can only relate, understand and remember the Malaysian history through 5 days BTN rather than that 11 years of countless exams and numerous text and revision books. That shows that if the topic is something that related to us not only in the past but also in the future significantly, it's easier to grasp rather than you learn in for the sake of exams.

So therefore, after 25 years of living, now I really understand why it's important to be who I am really are, to maintain that status and to be proud of what I was born with. And for the first time ever, I'm kind of interested to read history voluntarily. Hehe. Cuma tak beli lagi je buku tu.

Then, I finally send my resignation tender to my boss. That's happened 4 days before Malaysan 51th Merdeka Day. And for the first time I really appreciated Merdeka Day for that obvious reason. But still not satisfied with that boss-from-hell. Let's shit about it next time kay. Huhu.

We celebrated Merdeka Day at Sunway Resort Suite hoping to catch firework but dissapointed that Sunway doesn't have any firework this year unlike previous years. I think this is the first year they didn't have firework. Bengang betul. So we when to MPH Warehouse Sale in the afternoon. And for the first time, I only bought one chic lit written by one of my favourite chic lit writer; Isabel Wolff. She's not as famous as Sophie Kinsella but I like her book. The rest of the purchase were non-fictional reading about works, relationship and world which is an advancement for me. I hope I read all of that. Not as book shelf decorator to look intelligent. Hehe.

And for the first time I celebrated Ramadhan as a wife. No more wake up for sahur just to eat. I need to prepare, reheat and clean up. Those days, if my mom woke me up before the table was ready, I would be really pissed. But now, I did that, memang tak sahur la. Thank God I have a husband who help me in everything. =) (Ayat pujian yang ikhlas untuk mendapatkan kasut raya)

Just now, I won the best speaker for impromptu speaking during Presentation Skills training. Unexpected weh. But something to boost my excitement to work in that company while waiting for 2 months to be over. Oleh itu, adalah sangat gembira....=). For that moment, I think if I have a chance in the future, I would like to be a toastmaster too. Macam interesting je...

Oh ya, if you happened to stay around Bandar Baru Bangi or you are looking for delicious ayam golek, there's a ayam golek stall near Seksyen 7 primary school that sell delicious ayam golek. Seriously. Sedap giler...