Craiglist & me

Typical Craiglist shopping experience:

Me: Is the chair is available?
Seller: Yes, please come after 6 pm or tomorrow before 5 pm.
Me: Ok, I'll come at 6.15 pm today. What's your address?

Me: *Wait* *Wait* *No reply*

Seller: *At 6.05 pm*. Oh, the chair has been bought.

WTH?

Twice today I have this experience. Is this a sign for me to stop shopping?

And why all free stuff is in Raleigh and Cary? Nobody in Durham is generous enough to give away free stuff?

Retail therapy

I never know the power of retail therapy until now especially in States. Shopping has become my therapy in overcoming loneliness, boredom and anger. I won't go to the expensive stores coz not able to buy would lead to sadness. The purpose of therapy is to cure not to add salt to the wound.

So after class I would go shopping. Like twice a week. Then weekend is another trip. Most of the time I don't buy anything or I just buy something cheap to feel that I don't waste so much time. I don't care if you feel pathetic or what but it's how I survived for 4 months alone here.

Because of this activity, I don't mind spending hours at one store by just looking around. I know it's waste of time but rather than feeling blues and depress, at least I'm happy. And the positive side of it, I have many cheap but beautiful clothes that you really need to dig to find that treasure.

The retail therapy doesn't have to be at brick and mortar stores, it can be online too. Back home, Amazon and eBay won't send the items there and you have to time 3.6 to get the real price but here, you can buy everything and you don't need to time 3.6 (sometimes I do just to compare the price). Craiglist is another favourite site of mine. Since right now is the season of students moving out, many items are very cheap. Luckily I don't have a truck, if not I would have couch, futon, bed, drawer ready for fall semester.

But right now, after discovering a free place to store my stuff (thanks to William), I started to collect my own furniture to be ready for new apartment in next semester. The thing is all the stuff is so cheap and I know I won't find this cheap stuff in the beginning of semester when everybody is looking for same stuff as me. Right now, I'm buying things that can fit my car. If only a couch can fit into my car...

I wish this angry feeling will go away soon. Before I started buying more stuff. Like iPod Touch.

Ps: Goat's milk taste the same no matter if it's in raw form of powder form. Don't get cheated by the 'creamy, great tasting' tagline. Well, have to endure it for the sake of stronger immunization against swine flu.

Bullshit

There goes my dream of getting scuba diving license.
There goes my sandy white beach summer holiday.

So much for following your dream and living the present. It's bullshiiiiiiiiiiittt.
Your dream remain a dream and your life dictated by others.

How time are wasted on thinking of this stuff.
How energy are wasted on feeling happy and excited.
It's all bullshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt.

Maybe I should just forget all this scuba things.
Too many obstacles.
But this last one was the final straw. The reason is so stupid to digest.

Suddenly all the happy feeling of going back is gone. At this moment, I felt like returning all the stuff I bought for everybody. I felt like I just want to stay here. Nobody really care about my ideas anyway. Not in class, not in the family.

I felt like a SHIT. And now I felt angry.

And she didn't even come to my wedding. Both occasion.

WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE COMING TO HER F**KING WEDDING????????????????????

Can't wait

Of Choki and us

Today supposed to be a productive day which I'm going to study the whole day. However, the day was started with really unpleasant pain that at that moment I was thinking who I'm going to call if I'm real pain.

So I did what's best. SMS my hubby and as usual it's really helpful. And end up sleeping the whole morning till afternoon. Then mom called and added more happiness even though the pain still resided. But not so much anymore. Then got MMS from hubby with Choki pictures in his new leash. Really funny and made my day even better. Then hubby called and told me the story about Choki and the leash I send (finally arrived after I don't know how many weeks).

Hubby's choice of words of decribing things Choki did really funny and made me think hard how exactly Choki did whatever hubby descibed. How Choki did 'muka ketat'? Or how Choki did 'muka marah' and 'muka penyu'? I can relate all his antics (well, some of it) coz I have experience that which sometimes really pain in the ass. But when I think about it now, that's made him Choki or maybe he followed the example of us. Children learned by watching their parents right. Haha.

The thing that having a something that we love together really bond us. Now I know why people said children can bond the couple more. Coz we channel our love to them and together we have so many to share. I mean after so many years of marriage we might have nothing to talk about. So we can talk about our children beside our day of course.

For us the first step is having this little creature. It's a practice to see how patience and tolerance us as a couple before proceed to next level which is a child with our own DNA. As far as I see it, Zainal would be more patient in gaining the trust and making it love you back while me get impatient when he doesn't want me. But Zainal is very strict when disciplining him while I'm more lay-back. Zainal more into quantity time together while I'm into quality time together. Even though he spends a lot of time with him, but I was the one who discovered he has stomach gas (I was so happy about this discovery coz I thought I didn't know anything about him..hehe). And both of us seems to lavish him with ntah-ape-ape.

Well, he lives to 1 year plus right now so I guess we are doing good. I remember Zainal told me that we need to make sure he lives at least 3 months with us if not we are wasting our money. Well, early next month would 1 year he's with us. Wow, 1 year already with that bunny.

Oh, actually I wanted to say that I have no mood to study after this pain (which I suspected from eating 3 minutes Kroger pizza) which is very bad considering my exam is in 2 days but why I ended up writing about Choki and us? Well, thinking about Zainal's stories on Choki which actually made me laugh alone and at least cheer me up lately.

When my IT specialist woke up

Him: I have the same problem with Firefox.

Me: Is Bitdefender the only anti virus have this problem? Hmm.. I found there's a website to download the patch for this .dll.

Him: Did you try it?

Me: No.I'm scared it's not safe. Have you tried it?

Him: I just woke up ok. Let me see what I can do.

Me: Ok, please tell me when you are done.

2 minutes after that.

Him: Ok, I can use my Firefox again.

Me: What? Only 2 minutes? I took the whole morning and still couldn't get anything.

Him: Well, that's different between IT person and non-IT person.

Me: -_-

Conclusion: Well, I don't care as long as I can use my Firefox. Yeay!

Too angry to have a title

I'm so mad today at Bitdefender. I don't know what it did but apparently I can't open my Firefox browser. WTH??? There's a notice saying that one of the component is missing or something. So when I wanted to re-installing Firefox, Bitdefender block the same .dll that been missing in Firefox and of course the it couldn't install properly and having the same problem. Currently Bitdefender claimed it's a trojan.

I tried to retrieve all my bookmarks but I couldn't find the bookmark file where Firefox usually save it. The only next thing to do is to uninstall Firefox and re-install. But I will lost all my bookmarks. Damn it.

However, I was thinking of disable Bitdefender and re-install Firefox. Maybe that work. But I'm not sure if this .dll is really a trojan that could harm my laptop or another Bitdefender ultra protection kind of thing. Yes, Bitdefender also categorized Duke email is harmful. What a nuisance.

What I really mad is the possibility of losing my bookmarks. I bookmarked a lot of thing ok. From important website for Duke, all the houses that I wanted to contact for Fall semester, photoshop tips, Lumix LX3 tips, blogs that I stalked, Low Yat's thread that I follows, some websites for my assignment and many more la. Now I have to find one by one ke? When time I had to surf internet is limited due to exams next week, stuff like this happened. Sape tak marah?

Now I'm using Explorer which I don't really like. Slow, no spelling check, have weird sound which I hate... ahhh... but on brighter side, at least I have a browser. Hehe..

Ok, I need to wait my IT specialist to wake up to ask him what I should do now. Apparently his advice in 3 sentences SMS doesn't make sense to me when I tried to follow it just now.

Hmmm.. how I wish he's here right now. Uh-uh, I realized that I have depend on him too much on IT-related problem has made me nearly-blind IT (buta IT, hehe) and not up to date with current issues anymore. Yes, when you married, you let go some and let the other half take it while you focus on other things. Ye, alasan semata-mata. Haha..

Ps: on brighter side, it's not that you have to re-format the whole laptop which will lose a whole lot more. So please stay calm and look at the bright side ye.

Being Willy Wonka

Dear family members,

I regret to inform you that I didn't buy many things for you coz well, you know student life. Money always spend on somewhere else. But fear not coz.... to be continued...

Dear Kroger,

Please stop selling cheap chocolate. It drive me crazy and at the same time emptying my bank account. And stop selling supercheap chocolate after some events. Like Easter. With cute bunnies. Chocolate. Combination that drive me crazy.

Like just now, I just wanted to buy eggs. Yes, eggs. 6 eggs for $0.99. But why on earth I have to pay $38 when I checked out? This is all you fault. This is because.... to be continued....

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Yes dear family members.... I bought all of these for you.... be prepared to get fat...hahhaha... I hope I didn't create another diabetes patient in the house.To tell the truth, I didn't notice that I bought this much chocolate. I just collected chocolate whenever I go to Kroger. OMG Kroger is so evil. Can you believe I have 3 kg of M&M's. But I love going to Kroger even though they didn't have Sara Lee bread & Arizona Sweet Tea and their Nesquick is more expensive and doesn't have stawberry flavour. But still I love going to Kroger.

but wait... this is mine.. I randomly picked the Snickers and when I got home I realized it was 4 different design. So cute. Should buy more. No. Stop buying chocolate!

Thanks to you Kroger... now I look like Willy Wonka.

But wait, dear family members, there's a catch. Whoever isn't at the arrival gate at 6.30am on 16th May 2009, well, I guess you can just watch us eat the chocolates. Hehe.

Oh-uh, I just realized I haven't bought Mak & Abah's favourite chocolate. Another reason to buy chocolate again. And maybe more that cute Snickers. Haha.

Ps: I just realized that the countdown counter at the sidebar is counting days now. Not months & weeks. Can't wait!!

In auto mode

I felt disengaged these past few days. I felt like my movements were in auto mood and my mind was at somewhere else. It's like watching my body walking and doing whatever she needed to do while my mind wonders elsewhere. Yes, seriously.

Like yesterday, I woke up late and in normal right of mind, I should be rushing to catch the bus. But I wasn't. I just did my stuff in the normal speed of someone who doesn't need to rush.

What the hell is happening here? Why my mind is imagining the future without living the present?

Maybe for some reasons, my subconscious mind has ready to go home. She's having the visions what's going to happen and unintentionally bring me to that kind of world where current activities doesn't matter anymore.

My mind has brought me to various locations and showed one scene to another scene in incoherent mode. Everything from family, friends, hope and dreams just jumble up together creating a really messy scene.

Then, I started to miss my friends. I called my best friend last night and I missed our conversation. Suddenly I wanted to go back to the days where we were unattached. I would crashed at her house and talk girly stuff all night long. We made fun of each other and laughed it all. We bare our darkest secrets (really really dark secrets) and trust each other with all our heart. But that things would not happened again. She's waiting to give birth anytime soon, in fact it was 5 days overdue. And me, thousands miles away from home.

Funnily, I missed hanging out with Zainal's friends too coz they are so loud and hilarious. WTH?

Right now, I need to focus. I need a director to cut out all these bloopers and unnecessary scenes and focus on now. There's so many things to do and if I'm still in this smoking-weed hippie zone, I'm in deep shit. Deep to the waist kind of shit. No kidding. 2 presentations, 1 business plan, 1 final report and 2 final exams kind of mess I'm talking about here.

Ok, I need Steven Spielberg in my head right now, with a tight budget and true story screenplay with happy ending. Right now.

Thought of the day

"Why would somebody who just married or less than 6 months wants to get pregnant already? Have they tired of each other that they need another person in their life so soon?"

I need to know that I'm normal for having this thoughts. Or maybe my motherly instinct hasn't kick my senses yet. I know I will have it, not so soon but not that far.